Grima: Oh, but you are alone. Who knows what you've spoken to the darkness, in the bitter watches of the night. When all your life seems to shrink. And the walls of your bower closing in about you-
Eowyn: Alright! No more acting!
*Grima rips off his mask revealing him to be Aragorn. He and Eowyn start making out*
*Dead Theodred awakens*
Theodred: Alright, this is just disgusting! *Gets off the bed and walks out of the room*

[ September 09, 2003: Message edited by: Lily Bombadil ]

Okay, I'm going to try again.

At the beginning of the Two Towers:

Sam: It's the ring isn't it?

Frodo: It's getting heavier...it started with Uriah heap...now it's onto The Rolling Stones...next...it'll be Black Sabbath...

Sam: ...


I have more if you want...

Another?

I hope this one hasn't been done already:

Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS! *slams staff down hard, hitting his foot*
Gandalf: OWWWWW!!!! *hops up and down, crying*

Ok, this one was taken from my brother's LotR parody movie, Lord of the Hat.

Sam: This is it.
Frodo: This is what?
Sam: If I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been.
Frodo: Come on, Sam.
Sam: But if I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been!
Frodo: Come on, Sam!
Sam: But if I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been!
Frodo: Hurry up, Sam!
Sam: But if I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been!
Frodo: Come on already, Sam!
Sam: But if I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from -
*Merry and Pippin appear out of Farmer Maggot's crops, knocking into Sam and pushing him ahead*

Ok, a litte strange, but I thought it was funny at least. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

RoTK Instead of self-immolation, denethor jumps out a window.

*Cart-guy* Bring out your dead!
*Guardsman* Here's one ^starts to hand over denethor^
*Denethor* I'm not dead yet..
*Guardsman* Of course you are. Here he is sir.
*cart-guy* I can't take him if he's not dead.
*Guardsman* Oh come on, he's going to be dead in a few minutes... Just take him.
*Denethor* No really, i'm getting better..
*Guardsman* ^hits denethor over head with stick^ Here he is
*Cart Guy* Thank you.

Bring out your Dead!

Scene in TTT where Merry and Pippin are near Fangorn forest
Merry:They say something in the water made the Trees come alive.

Pippin: Uh-oh.(He begins to grow a trunk and leaves)

I just was watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail and thought of this:

Elrond: There shall be nine companions.
No more. No less.
Nine shall be the number of companions,
and the number of companions shall be nine.
There shall not be ten companions.
Neither shall there be eight,
exepting that it is joined by a ninth.
Eleven is right out.
And once there are nine companions,
you shall be the Fellowship of the.....*Elrond stops after relizing everyone got fed up with him and left*

Here's a Lion King blooper:

Frodo: What must I do?
Gandalf: Run! Run away and never return!

This one's from a parody me and my brother have been working on:

*the breaking of the fellowship*
*the fellowship rests on the banks of the Anduin*
Frodo: Great! Just great!
Legolas: What?
Frodo: I got bored on that stupid raft [yes, they floated down the river on a raft] so i decided to read the script.
Gimli: So?
Frodo: It says when we reach this point I have to decide to go to Mordor by myself.
Aragorn: You mean we have to stay here?
Frodo: Ya.
Everyone exept frodo: YAY!
Sam: Well you better get going Frodo. Don't let us hold you up. Mordor is that way right?
Merry: Go on, Frodo. We're cheering you on.
Pippin: Ya, don't forget to write!
Frodo: No! Wait! I don't want to go to Mordor! *runs into the forest*
Boromir: GET HIM!

That's it. For now.... [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Gotta love those Monty Python ones!
LOL -snort, hehehe! This was hilarious for me...

Since Meela has moved up to "champion awards", I hereby proclaim myself the new official Hander-Outer of the Blooper Awards.
And the first one goes to the blooper shown below.
And now for more mindless hilarity.
*Gandalf the White makes his appearance*
ARAGORN: It..cannot...be!
GANDALF: Actually, it isn't.
*takes off his Gandalf costume and reveals himself as...
TOM BOMBADIL: Hey dol! Merry dol! Ring a dong dillo! Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!
*Aragorn pushes Tom into the mud and keeps going*
Oh well, I thought it was funny...

[ September 07, 2003: Message edited by: Meneltarmacil ]

Aragorn and Arwen ones...

Aragorn kisses Arwen. Suddenly she screams, frantically waves the air in front of her nose, becomes deathly ill and dies. Aragorn looks on in shock. Elrond wanders in and sees his daughter dead. He sniffs the air, gags and puts a piece of cloth over his nose. "The Black Breath...." he sputters. "ARAGORN, GET SOME BREATH MINTS!!!!"

Aragorn is now king of Gondor! He's so excited - now he'll get to marry the girl of his dreams! He decides to wash his greasy hair to impress her. He shows up at her place early and rings the bell. Arwen comes to the door without any makeup on. She sees him with clean hair and he sees her without any makeup. They both scream and die of heart attacks, as the shock is just too great. Due to the death of Isidur's heir, Pippin is made the new king of Gondor.

Aragorn is floating in the river, dreaming of Arwen. They are kissing. Suddenly, Aragorn seems confused. Arwen seems to have grown facial hair and she smells like a stable. Aragorn's eyes pop open, and he discovers that he's been kissing his horse. (That's what I was thinking when I watched the movie.)

The fellowship encounters the Balrog in the Mines of Moria.

*Gandalf* Leave! Swords of are no more use here.


*Aragorn* Bring forth... The Holy Hand Grenade!

Thank you for the award, Meneltarmacil! I'm honoured [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] (even though Meela outlawed your award-giving [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img])

I am getting a laugh out of all of these bloopers that y'all have posted. Quite funny! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Whoa, whoa, hold on just a minute! *backs off so he won't get his head chopped off* I was only saying that since you're apparently done handing out awards until like next year or something, then I'd handle the ordinary, non-champion awards... oh well. Sorry about that anyway.
I feel pretty sorry for all those poor Gondorians... [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[ September 08, 2003: Message edited by: Meneltarmacil ]

I realize that 'The Return of the King' has not yet been released into theatres, but my sister and I got the Frodo & Sam dressed as goblins action figures and thought of this...
Frodo: Sam! What is up with you? Stop twitching and come on!
Sam: Sorry, Mr Frodo. It's these orc boxers. They're chafing.

At the end of 'The Two Towers', Sam and Frodo happen to catch Smeagol/Gollum planning to kill them.
Sam: I'm not gonna say I told you so, Mr Frodo, but I told you so.

hehehe Lily, that was a good one!!!!!


Grima: Láthspell i name you, ill news is an ill guest.
Háma: *jumping out and pointing an accusing finger at Gandalf: He turned me into a newt!
Grima: *sceptical look*
Háma: I got better!


Legolas ion the middle of battle in Helm's Deep, goes up to the keep where Aragorn and Gimli are fighting the orcs trying to break through the door. **Goes up and knocks on the door** "Hello? can i borrow a cup of sugar"
Aragorn: Whats up with him?
Gimli: National Blonde day, go figure...

Scene: Just before the Black Gate

Sam: Mr. Frodo, I think I can see a way down! *he leans too far over and starts surfing down on the rock*
Sam: Woohoo! Top this, Legolas!

Or:

Sam: Mr. Frodo, I think I can see a way down! *he leans too far over and falls down*
Frodo: Sam!
*Sam keep rolling...and rolling and rolling. The entire army of easterlings is taken out, the Morannon is smashed, and he topples of Barad-Dur*
Frodo: Wow.
Sam: *coming back up* Whew! I always knew me Gaffer's home cookin' would come in handy!

I think I saw this on another thread in the movie forums, so if you're here, & I stole it, then to bad! [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] Heh, hopefully it hasn't been used before:

Sam: "It's the Ring, isn't it?"

Frodo: "No, MY TROUSERS ARE TO TIGHT!"

Heh [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]

Hopefully this wasn't stolen...

*Helm's Deep*

Olympic Berserker!

(olympic theme plays)

Ary: Kill him Legolas!

(arrow hits berserker)

Uruk: *gasp* Jimmy!

Ary: KILL HIM LEGOLAS!!

(second arrow hits Jimmy)

Uruk: *gasp* Jimmy!

(olypic music speeds up as Jimmy runs & jumps & blows up himself & the Deeping Wall)

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] My brother & I did this while watching my TTT DVD^ ^ Actually, I MST3Ked the whole movie...

I'm stealing this from my sister because I know she'll never post it. But if she decides to I'll delete it & you guys can act none the wiser, okay?

In Osgiliath, the boulder smashes through the tower.
Faramir: Oh, man! My dad was in there!

But here's one I made up:
On the way to Osgiliath...
Frodo: Faramir, I really hafta pee. Can we stop so I can go?
*Faramir ignores him and one of his men picks Frodo up and hustles him along*
Frodo: Faramir! You must let me go!!!!

While Sam is stewing the conies:
Smeagol: Aaaargh!!! What's it doing?!! Stupid... fat... hobbit!!! You ruins it!!!!
*Fed up with being picked at about his weight, Sam picks up Smeagol and hurls him into a ravine* *Frodo looks up*
Frodo: Where's Smeagol?
Sam: *shrugs* I dunno...

(I MST3k them too...constantly... [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] )

(Back to FotR)
Scene: Rivendell, Gandy and Elrond are having their little "discussion"

E: And Saruman, you tell me, has betrayed us. Our list of allies grows theen! Like butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday, Gandalf...a very long holiday.

Scene: The Council of Elrond.

E: Strangers from distant lands, friends of old. I like half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.


(Both of those courtesy of my sister and brother [Oliphaunts_Rule and Tweak])

Great one, Everdawn! (Though I think good ol' Gandy forgot to change Wormtongue back from a newt, if you follow me.)

[ September 09, 2003: Message edited by: Oddwen ]

Aragorn's dramatic entrance to Helm's Deep

Aragorn pushes both doors open and starts to walk in, but there is a bar in the way which he runs into and knocks himself out.

I hope you all know of the kind of door I'm referring to. I got the idea for this because I wanted to do that at school, but all the doors have bars down the middle, so I can't. [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]

Um, Oddwen, you might not want to make comments about Wormtounge while Meela's around, she gets violent when we make fun of her crushes.

Begginning of TTT
Sam "It's the ring, isn't it?"

Frodo "I Can't get it out of my head, That movie was so WIERD!"


Aragorn marries Arwen

Aragorn "I will always love you"

Arwen "And I you"

Gimli "Hey Elf, ten bucks says he's wearing a thong"

Faramir "Hey, I wanna get in on that action"

*Blank stares all around*

Legolas "That was wrong on so many levels."

Faramir "I meant the betting"

Everyone "Oohhhhhhhh"

Eowyn: 50 bucks says I'll go pull 'em down & find out... *rubs fingers together*
*Others cringe*
Faramir: Ohhh.... So wrong...

I'm pretty sure someone has done something like this before, but I can't find it anywhere.

As Gandalf is about to fall into the Shadow
GANDALF(with Arnold Schwartzenegger accent): I'll be back.

LOL!IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT ABOUT THAT SCENE AS THE OLYMPIC(sorry caps). [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

In the Riddermark...

Aragorn: Riders of Rohan, what news from the Mark?!
*The Rohirrim swerve and encircle Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas*
Random Rohirrim: What news? I'll tell you what news! If "Captain Eomer" doesn't gives us a rest stop soon, the 'news from the Mark' is gonna be in my pants!!!

Hahahahaha! I love Monty Python takeoffs.

*Fellowship is walking through the woods of Lothlorien. Suddenly, the banjo tune from 'Deliverance' starts to play. Haldir jumps out of nowhere with one blackened tooth and a banjo.*
Aragorn: Haldir-
Haldir: *grabs Aragorn's ear* Squeal like a pig!

I always imagined that scene going into slo-mo with "Chariots of Fire" playing in the background, and all the elves going "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

No kidding! [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]

*In the Mines of Moria the Fellowship is running from the Balrog*

Legolas: *trips* My ankle!
*the fellowship helps him up and they keep running*
Legolas: *trips* My other ankle!
*they help him up again and keep running*
Legoals: *trips(again)* Both my ankles!
Gimli: Why don't we just chop the darn things off!!

Théoden banishes Grima. Éowyn disappears as well. A few hours later, she comes back into the palace leading Grima by the hand.

Théoden: Where have you been all day? And what is he doing here?!
Éowyn: Uncle, I MARRIED GRIMA SO HE COULD STAY IN THE KINGDOM!!!!
*Théoden starts gasping*
Éowyn: Don't worry. I don't love him or anything, but since Éomer was banished I've been really bored.
*Théoden promptly has a heart attack and dies*

(At the Battle for Helm's Deep)
Gimli: That's two for me!
Legolas: I'm at seventeen! *goes back to his shooting*
Gimli: *mutters* I'm at seventeen, I'm a little prissy elf... *eyes Legolas* Acceptable loss. *looks around to see if anyone's looking, and hacks off Legolas' head* Three.

Or...
Aragorn pushes the doors open and staggers in, and the doors swing back and hit him, causing him to fall flat out of his back.
Aragorn: Oy... what a day....

One word, EEEEEEWWWWWW!!!! I'm not surprised Theoden had a heart attack, anyone would!

Images, Images. Wedding night images. I do NOT want that thought!

[ September 26, 2003: Message edited by: Feared Half-Elf ]

Theoden: Where is the horse & the rider?

Aragorn: I think he went down to the Seven Eleven.

Theoden: A~RA~~~GO~~~RN~!!!! [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img]

Théoden: Is this all you can conjure Saruman?

Random Guard: Apparently not my lord, here comes Ricky Martin...

**Giggle**

Here's some I made up ages ago... Some may be funny, others not... (was the Seven Eleven one really actually funny...?)

*In the Shire*

Gandalf: The Road goes ever on & on/Down from the door where it began... Hum humm... Oh drat, what was the rest?

*At the Ford of Bruinen*

Nazgul: Give up the Halfling, She-elf!

Arwen: You sure you don't want something for your throat?

*At Amon Hen, after sending Boromir over the Rauros*

Legolas: Aragorn, what are you doing with Boromir's golden belt from Galadriel?

Aragorn: Taking it! It'll fetch a pretty price on Ebay!

(me: runs from mad Boromir fangirls)

*while the Hobbits are hiding from the Rider*

Nazgul: *sniff sniff* Drat... I've *gotta* get something for these sinuses!

*After Strider throws the apple at Pip & it hits his head*

Strider: Whoo hoo! That deserves a 10!

lol these are so funny! Here's a Holy Grail one:

Elrond: So be it! You shall be known as the Fellowship of the Ring.
*fellowship dance around and break into song*: We're the Fellowship of the Ring, we dance around and sing! and etc.

Scene when moving from Edoras to Helm's Deep
Gimli: *falls off his horse* Ow, my tailbone! That wasn't deliberate!

I know they're bad, I'll try to come up with something better next time.

*When the Hobbits have met Aragorn, and are talking about food.*

Merry: *Dances about madly singing* Things that make you go mmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Very, very lame...

About the Eowyn/Grima one:

...Theoden suffered a fatal heart attack so Eowyn & Grima could live together forever.

O_O;; (yea, another Monty Python one^ ^;; )

*Arwen throws a cough drop at the black rider*

In the shire were all the hobbits are hiding from the nazgul, and he's sniffing really loud:
Nazgul: Ah! what is that awful smell!
merry wispers: hee hee! that was me! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]