...consisted of guzzling large quantities....

...of wine everytime someone said...

"Gollum's weird strange-coloured weeds"

or weedy Gollum's strangely weird...

habbit to sniff all the time.

So they decided on pink since Haldir LOVED shocking pink.
But Haldir also loved sparkles when singing "Goodbye Yellow Brick..."
But he wished he could sartorially dress better than Galadriel
who was not happy with Sauron's sexy eyelash(es?) from E-Bay;
so she conspired to steal Varda's eyelashes after returning to
Lothlorien and stealing Galadriel's dress.

This really ticked off Varda, who was counting on a sexy gown for the
party Manwe held for the Valar every last Twelvtyth of Foreyule. Fortunately the
Valar drinking game consisted of guzzling large quantities of wine everytime
someone said "Gollum's weird strange-coloured weeds" or
"Gollum's weird strange-coloured weeds".

While at the party their
...habbit to sniff all the time...

made Varda dizzy and sleepy

...sniff sniff yawn yawn Varda

after pouring antihistamine laced merlot.

Nothing made sense to them...

..., especially how Gollum and Galadriel

... had managed to have offspring........

...who built the Prancing Pony...

...and smoked pipe weed often.

So they decided on pink since Haldir LOVED shocking pink.
But Haldir also loved sparkles when singing "Goodbye Yellow Brick..."
But he wished he could sartorially dress better than Galadriel
who was not happy with Sauron's sexy eyelash(es?) from E-Bay;
so she conspired to steal Varda's eyelashes after returning to
Lothlorien and stealing Galadriel's dress.

This really ticked off Varda, who was counting on a sexy gown for the
party Manwe held for the Valar every last Twelvtyth of Foreyule. Fortunately the
Valar drinking game consisted of guzzling large quantities of wine everytime
someone said "Gollum's weird strange-coloured weeds" or
"weedy Gollum's strangely weird weeds".

While at the party their habbit to sniff all the time made Varda dizzy and sleepy
(Sniff sniff yawn yawn Varda). After pouring antihistamine laced merlot nothing
made sense to them, especially how Gollum and Galadriel had managed to have
offspring who built the Prancing Pony and smoked pipe weed often.

...But Manwe's hangover next day...

had a very interesting effect

...when Varda got disgusted and...

...said, I want a divorce!!!...:D

...which gave Melkor an idea...

...that Gollum could possibly be...

...Varda's new love interest. But...

...Galadriel got jealous and told...

....Celeborn that she fancied Gimli....

So they decided on pink since Haldir LOVED shocking pink.
But Haldir also loved sparkles when singing "Goodbye Yellow Brick..."
But he wished he could sartorially dress better than Galadriel
who was not happy with Sauron's sexy eyelash(es?) from E-Bay;
so she conspired to steal Varda's eyelashes after returning to
Lothlorien and stealing Galadriel's dress.

This really ticked off Varda, who was counting on a sexy gown for the
party Manwe held for the Valar every last Twelvtyth of Foreyule. Fortunately the
Valar drinking game consisted of guzzling large quantities of wine everytime
someone said "Gollum's weird strange-coloured weeds" or
"weedy Gollum's strangely weird weeds".

While at the party their habbit to sniff all the time made Varda dizzy and sleepy
(Sniff sniff yawn yawn Varda). After pouring antihistamine laced merlot nothing
made sense to them, especially how Gollum and Galadriel had managed to have
offspring who built the Prancing Pony and smoked pipe weed often.

But Manwe's hangover next day had a very interesting effect when Varda got disgusted
and said, "I want a divorce"!!! Which gave Melkor an idea that Gollum could possibly be
Varda's new love interest. But Galadriel got jealous and told Celeborn that she fancied Gimli

...and was eloping to Aman.

..Galadriel's and Gollum's offspring protested...

...they wanted to see Taniquetil...

...in trees and weird weeds...

...that had always been like...

...Old Man Willow's forest realm...

...before Smaug came and burned...

...down many of their special...

...kinds of pipe-weed and potatoes...

...which made everyone decide to...

...study agronomy with the entwives.

Unfortunately, Treebeard didn't approve of...

...this ghastly turn of events...

...but the entwives warned him...

...that Smeagol hates talking trees...

...and loves The Lumberjack Song...

.., so Treebeard, dressed as Tomlinson,...