Sauron: I'm allergic - how did you think my eye got like this?

Thingol: Why'd you stick Luthien in a big tree if you wanted to keep her near you?

Thingol: I was just saying that... You know how guys are we say things get what we want, then quit it.

Smeagle, did it ever occur to you, you're probably suffering from Vitamin D Deficiency seeing as you've been underground for 500 years?

Gollum: What's it saying, precious? What's it mean?

Gandalf: Why would you switch from a grey robe? White attracts soo many more stains.

Gandalf: My old clothes were actually white too, you know. But since I was Gandalf the Grey, I didn't mind. Then came Galadriel with her new set of white robes for me, with a special stain-free guarantee. How could I refuse, now that Saruman got demoted, erm, chose to have many colors to himself too?

Melian, have you ever thought of visiting Thingol in Mandos?

Melian:Not at all!Now that I finally got rid of him,go and see him again?That's pure mazohism!


Luthien:Where is this AMAZING hair-cloak going to be sold?

Luthien: ebay. Under the "ethnographic" section of "antiques".

Feanor: Since you abandoned Formenos, would you mind if I moved in? I'm looking for a nice castle.

Feanor: DON'T YOU DARE!It is still MINE....My own ... My preciousssss....(oops!I think I sound like someone else now)

Boromir,why you don't want to get married?

Boromir: I'm married to my job. *looks around* Actually, Dad hasn't approved of any maiden I've presented to him. Faramir's lucky Dad never saw Eowyn.

Maglor, which of the beaches of Middle-Earth do you love best?

Maglor: Sand Between My Fingers

Melian, why did you just abandon Doriath when all those who loved you as a queen and a guardian needed you the most?

Melian: Gee, one teeny episode of sleepwalking and no one ever forgets it!

Varda: Which was your favorite star?

Varda: Do you expect me to have a favorite star? Might as well ask Feanor which of the three Silmarilli is his favorite. ;)

Manwe: Ever thought of leaving Taniquetil?

Nah, I've got a good view here, The rent's cheap, the neighborhood's friendly.

Grima, did you honestly think Saruman would give a better shake than Theoden?

Grima: Well, yeah. Anyone who can afford to have his nails done so awesomely must be able to pay great wages!

Celebrimbor: Is it true that you had a crush on Galadriel?

Celembribor:This is a totolly false rumor!You make a gift for publicity and look how it turns!

Aragorn,how did you manage to by wet-muddy-whatever all time while Legolas looked like he was just out of the beauty salon?

Aragorn: Legolas carries all sorts of cleansing agents in his backpacks, and makes Gimli carry his share of lembas. As for me, my girl likes her man rough. :cool:

Luthien: When your hair grew back after cutting it to make your cloak, why was it darker than its wont before?

Luthien: Because Beren said he liked it better that way, so I made Daddy buy a LOT of black hair dye.

Nazgul #7: Which did you like better, the horse or the winged steed?

Nazgul#7:To be honest ,the horse.When I was young ,I used to skip the flight lessonsToo bad for me now..Imagine what a laugh was made every time I almost have fallen from the winged steer during the test flights.Even his Evileness almost teared for the laughs!


Thingol:Have you ever thought of trying some faux bijoux?You might have prevented a lot of trouble!

Thingol: Faux bijoux?! Imagine what mockery I would have endured, from Feanor to the least of all Elves, both in life and in Mandos, if I went that low!

Nerdanel: Have you and Feanor ever been to a marriage counselor?

Nerdanel: Nope. By the time the first one came to Valinor, Feanor had already left.

Legolas: Are you mad at Orlando Bloom for making you seem so...strange?

Legolas:Of course not!Let us be mercyful,it was one of his first attempts...


Maeglin:Does this ...er... bungy-jumping tradition expand to other unknown members of your family except of you and Eol?

Maeglin: Yes, but Eol and I were the first to try it without bungees. I think I'll go back to the traditional way. Owie.

Gorlim: Did you ever meet Eilinel again?

Gorlim:Yes and hell of a surprise,I caught her with my third cousin!And I treated my fellows for her!

Celegrom,how about trying some roses for your next attempt with Luthien?

Celegorm: No, I'm allergic. No lilies either...maybe lilacs?

Rosie: What did you think when Sam disappeared for about a year?

Rosie:I was sure he was in the Green Dragon's-Every day grom 8 till5 in the morning is the happy hour.

Idril,do you use wax for your silver feet?

Idril: No, of course not. Wax is for keeping my lovely hair in place. For my feet, I use some of Vana's special formulas. Very rare in Middle-Earth, so when I ran out I went back. :Merisu:

Haleth: What did you think about Caranthir's hair?

Haleth: I have no idea. He kept his helmet on the whole time we were talking. Very rude, and it made him extremely hard to understand.

Nessa: Do your deer ever try to eat your cloak?

Nessa:No they don't(they eat Tulkas's all the time and he turns mad-poor deer!)


Malbeth,can you predict lotteries too?

Malbeth: "Trying to be funny, kid? Take a look at these filthy rags I'm wearing and take a wild guess!"

Boromir, which hobbit was most annoying?

Boromir: Sam - everyone said he cooked wonderfully, but I'm sure I developed an allergy to potatoes while on that trip.

Gandalf: Which staff do you like better, the Grey staff or the White one?

The grey one obviously the white one stains so easily

Balin did you feel underappreciated as a look out?

Balin:I did ,yet I am not bothered.I am pretty sure history will proove me right one day.


Shelob,have you ever thought of quiting hunting in Cirith Ungol and do something less environmentaly friendly,as raising a family?

Shelob: I did, but all the male Giant Spiders died in the First Age.

Earendil: How's the view from up there?

Earendil: I'm sure glad that I chose to be an Elf, with the perks of elven-sight. I bet mortals can't see the way I do, even if they did end up here with me. ;)

Mandos: Is Feanor interesting to talk to?

Mandos: Not really - he keeps repeating the same stuff over and over again. It gets boring.

Haldir: Which do you prefer, dying in Helm's Deep or in Mirkwood?

Haldir: Well that depends... the only reason I would be at helm's deep would be battle so I'm fairly certain I'd get a sword to the back or some such nonsense... But Mirkwood would I'd more likely die peacefully in my- hgnnnnharrgh ...Damn

LEGOlas would you consider doing a Spanish Eggo Commercial? "Legolas mi Eggolas!"

Legolas: Perdone me, no habla mi espanol. :(

Miriel Serinde: Why did you get that terrible postnatal depression?

Miriel Serinde:Este was on vacation in Mandos.

Este:By the way,why were you on vacation?

Este: My union sued the corporation, so all employees get one week off. I just *happened* to choose the one week when I had something to do...

Witchking: What did you think when Sauron gave you a Ring?

Witchking: I thought it was our BFF ring, and I was flabbergasted when I didn't have anything to give him.

Gimli: What did Gloin give you as his coming-home present after the adventure with Bilbo?

Gimli: He gave me this silly yo-yo. I still can't get it to do anything!

Queen Beruthiel: If your cats were your spies, how could you tell what they were reporting to you?