And, holding his aching and quaking old head,
He demanded instead that they smoke.

So as a rude practical joke,
They filled his room full with fumes...

And he grinned..."The smoke one consumes,
is better than the need I had got."

With evil grins, "Your lungs are going to rot!
Ours will not cause we're too short."

And 'round the room they did cavort,
Until the smoke did make them ill,

So they ate and drank their fill
And then walked in the woods

But they forgot their hoods,
and yowled when it began to rain

so they covered there heads with metal, but that began to stain,
so they looked in desperation for something durable to wetness

When it appeared not, they suffered stress
And returned to the house of good

They felt that everything was screwed
So sighing, they went to bed

Bodies feeling heavy as lead,
And smiling as they hit the pillow

Despite the sound of ol' man Willow,
Who stole their wallets and shoes

while ol' Withywindle sang the blues
because the otters had gone away.

For the King they must betray
Be getting him drunk at the wheel

And stealing away his meal
To give to the poor famished Orcs

Who had all run out of pork.
The Hobbits woke upon that morn,

Feeling as if they'd just been born
But finding Orcs eating their beds...

Blew a big horn
And to the Orcs said,

A problem
 

(Since when did 'Beds' rhyme with 'horn'?)


Thanks.

Feeling as if they'd just been born
But finding Orcs eating their beds...

said, "Don't make no dessert of our heads
or we'll get ol' Gandalf an' have 'im uncloak!"

And a moment after these words were spoke
The orcs ran right out the door.

The hobbits, with great joy, breakdanced on the floor,
And were joined by Gandalf the expert, of course!

Who danced with such a force
That the floor did shatter beneath

Bill the Balrog gritted his teeth.
"I thought I've taught you well," said he.

Yet upon him fell a large tree
Cast, it was, by Sauron himself

Who decided that he must marry an Elf,
and went searching for one, starting in Bree,

Driving Mount Zoom, he crashed into a tree
And lay asleep all night in a hovel

Til next day he went home to grovel
To the secret wife and kids.

His wife made him clean all the crockpot lids
while she scolded him roundly and often.

But his hands would always soften
For he wished ever to be alone to drink

which he brewed in the kitchen sink
much to Mrs. Sauron's annoyance.

So she decides to poke him with a lance
Until he explodes with unbounded rage

And the Saurons' demand he be locked in a cage
Til he learns to control his temper.

Wrong thread?
 

Unfortunately this plot twist doesn't really look good on paper
So Sauron pushed his secret family into Mount Doom (Zoom?)

There came from the crater a great Boom
And the Dark Lord was blown to Fangorn

Where he was impaled on a thorn
And tortured by grievous large trees.

Who broke and twisted his knees.
And in a fit of anger and rage,...

He smote them all with a Page!
In livery, silver and black.

And he continued his vicious attack
By burning all their houses and kids