If 200,000 orcs showed up on my doorstep...
1) If it were me I'd get the fetal position and cry
2) If I were my alter ego I'd kill them all in a blaze of glory
3) If I was without sleep for a few days I'd call upon Obi-Wan Kenobi and Gandalf and have them kill them in a blaze of glory

ID RUN AND SCREAM LIKE A LITTEL GIRL. :eek:

Good Idea! I think I would definitely do the first. Or run outside waving a letter opener shouting ELENDILLLLLLLL!!!!!!

i would still be thrashing at them with my frying pan...

Wally!!!
 

Convert them under my rule and how to save on house insurance with my crafty speech

"I can tell these suckers anything, now if you really beleive in this idea to help yourself, slap yourself in the face *SLAP* works every time"

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....
 

...turn to the camera and say, "I should have gotten Capital One!"

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....
 

Tell one of the Uruks(from Isengard) that one of the Mordor Orcs called him a pansy. The ensuing fight would cause a civil war, which would leave only a few bruised orcs left for my handy-dandy longsword to handle. :D

P.S. Apologizes for the double post.

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door...

1)I would comfort myself with the thought that next time I may find 200,000 elves on my front door. :)
2) I would wonder how long wold it take my owl to deliver a message to Aragorn, and how long would it take for him to muster an army great enough to fight 200,000 orcs and come and get me out of there.

when 200,000 orcs come a'knocken
 

1) Ask them to return to the gate so that you may roll out a red carpet which is actually just some fly paper with nectar spilled all over it.

2) Insist that Sauron wants them ALL to wipe their feet before coming inside. It's one thing to be nasty, but another thing entirely to be just plain inconsiderate.

3) Pull up MapQuest for "Orthanc, IG.", point out that they have the wrong 'Earth', but ultimately end up finding a good use for my economy pack of Febreeze bottles.

4) Pull up MapQuest and direct them to Richard Taylor's residence.

1) Poke my head out the door then ask my parents " Who ordered the 200, 000 orcs!?!?!?"

2) Tell them to get off my sisters tent because if they don't she'll go ballastic and probably annoy them to death with her crying and yelling

3) Open the door and look around for the camera's. Once I find out that they're are none around, ask them what they are doing here. The I'll invite them in for tea or coffee (or in my case, pop or a cappuccino) pull up a map of the U.S on my computer and show them were L.A. is located

4) Do the same as above, but when they leave, I'll point them in the direction of the Arctic

following kitana's format

if it were me in my very non-emotional way I would get annoyed yell at everyone then ignore them till they get the point.(if they werent threatening me)

if it were me and I were threatened I would cry in my basement.

If it were my alter go I would call upon the burzenyd to enslave this evil creatures for my own purposes of destroting trogdar the burninator! :smokin:

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....
 

I'd pull out my trusty light-saber and have a whole lot of fun. :D

I'd pull out my six-shooter and shoot six of 'em before I died.

I'd pull out my Gandalf-the-Grey-Uncloaked cardboard cut-out and scare them all away. :rolleyes:

If i were myself.....
 

Probably run around yelling at the top of my voice. Then stop, think about it, and continue running around the house, but this time happily because I would be in a movie!!!!! :rolleyes: Or just send them to Alaska. Ya, let's go with the Alaska one. :p

If I found them at my door...
 

Like Russia can do with diamonds, I would flood the global market with orc sweat cosmetics and orc skin cell wintercoats. Maybe, even some fitness drinks make from their saliva... It would go something like this:

.~:Orcish Saliva Fitness Drinks! :~.

On the go, or wherever you need them! Blended, steamed, hot or cold, great taste should be sacrificed for great looks!


~Aesthete

If I found 200,00 orcs at my door...
 

If I was my alter-ego, I'd don my mithril armor, grab my bow, and sword, bar the door and call for help. At the barred door I would wait, for either the Orcs to make a move, or my assistance to arrive (in the form of Elladan, Elrohir, and a detachment of Rangers and Rohirrim). :D

If I were myself... I would pray really hard - and call some friends of mine. I'd don my Mongol armor (which would be completed by then), and get all the heavy weapons fighters in Trimaris (SCA kingdom) to come help me fight... the marshall who's training me would bring his collection of weapons... give me a sword and shield, and he'd kick some serious orc butt with his glaive. :D
Oh, and get the SWAT team to come out.... I'm sure that between the medieval-style heavy weapons, and the SWAT guys, we could take out the orcs... or, just throw a bomb in the middle of them, and while they're standing around wondering what it is, the explosive blows up, and all the orcs can wave bye bye. :p

-Elrowen

200, 000 orcs!!! Where!?!?!?
 

1) Play hide and seek with them and while one of them is "it", don on an orc costume and then escape.

2) Get Grima, Bilbo, Gandalf, Eomer, Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn so they can play hide and seek with the orcs while I go on E-bay and buy a sword, shield and mithril armour which, when it arrives, is 3 sizes to small.

3) Go back to my original plan and send them to Alaska.

Get them drunk and steal their wallets.

Or if that didn't work and they actually wanted to devour me, I would sail away down the river into the Sea. Let them have my castle; I only stole it from some guy anyway.

...quickly sketch the queen, write beside the picture, grab a banner, thank them for their quick delivery, hand them the paper saying then leave thru the back door as they fight over it. hopefully, I'll be long gone before they remember they aren't deliverymen!

Get Aragorn to come with his army of green slimy dead guys who were actually men who decided to go for a swim in the Anduin before the fight. :p :D

... grab Brother No. 1's Airsoft pistol and cock it as while breaking swiftly and silently for the front door. I'd quietly open the door, so as not to frighten off the game, then burst out shooting. By the time my clip is half empty Brothers No. 2 and 3 and Mother, alerted by the sound of my pistol cocking and themselves armed with pistol, Schmeisser, and pistol, respectively, would be outside and shooting as well. Only after the horde took off down the street on foot would we realize that they weren't marauding Grackles Of Unusual Size after our green pecans.

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....
 

1) -if I were plain me- immediately believe my strange fantasies and imaginary world was true and probably be able to kill them all with my make-believe superpowers.

2) -if I were my alter ego- I would wimper, hide in an obvious place and start crying hysterically. My alter-ego is so uncool... :rolleyes:

I might find myself bellowing that there is a single good guy behind them and watch the group turn into disarray, ultimantly being destroyed. That, or I would pull a Jane Goodall...or at least try. There are so many things we could learn from orcs... how to gnash our teeth right, or maybe the art of smearing rancid smelling paint on our faces.... sigh

1) Get Gandalf to uncloak himself in front of them

2) If I were myself, look around and ask where PJ is so I could get his autograph.

3) If I were my alter-ego, run out of the house right into their midst and because they would be so stunned by this wierd action, I'd be able to escape without getting hurt.

...get out the good china...and walk away slowly...

If I found 200,000 Orcs on my front door
 

I would tell them to use the back door.

OR

I would ask which one was called Bernard and hope they started an argument over which one it was and kill each other.

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....
 

Tell them that they must make a reservation for all parties over 10 members in size.

OR

Take a picture of myself with 200,000 orcs and post it on Crazy Captions.

OR

Ask if they were the famous breakdancing orcs.

OR

Think of a petition that I needed to have 200,000 signatures for. Hmmm, how about renaming the town in my name! Gurthangton!

1)Tell them " No I don't want any Orc girl cookie guides now go!"

2)Ask them if the met Boromir the Disco King

3)Pull a Bilbo and yell " The Eagles are coming! The Eagles are coming" and in the confusion and fear, slip out and get an army of Downer's to come and help me where we will all fight valiantly. The only problem will be Gil and his big ego. He'll try and be a hero and take on 10 orcs at a time. Luckily, he will have the phantom by his side and both their giant ego's will prevail.

If they're as skilled in combat as most enemy soldiers in the movies are, I'd probably defeat them easily.

Well, Wayne, I'm glad you're honest.

In that situation, naturally, I would be terrified. Then I would try to find out if they were merely humans in costume. If they were the real deal, as it were, I would lead a campaign to get rid of all the cheerleaders in my school, the drill team, and the pansy school mascot (who might be the son of the Indian from the Village People, 'cause he sure bears resemblance). I'm sorry. I don't hate people with school spirit; just the ones at MY school. But mostly the mascot. He betrayed me once. Love you guys!

Just so you all know, I'd rally up the orcs and lead them into the gymnasium during Friday's pep rally. Hope it's football season! Cheers!

I'd alter their egoes

I'd ask Gothmog, if he was there "Did you hit yourself in the face with an iron thinking it was the phone?"

An Even Better Idea...
 

I've changed my mind: I'll let the cheerleaders live. Instead, I want the orcs to attack my stupid ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend who looks like a confounded kindergartener!!!!!

That's kind of harsh, don't you think Lily?

Anyway getting back on topic...

I'd get them imersed in an argument about Balrog's and wherther or not they have wings. This will cause them to fight and thsu kill eash other off. Then, when there is only a few left with the same ideas, I'll kill them myself!!

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....
 

....wonder how all those orcs can fit on a seven-foot tall door.

....shut the door and go back to bed. I am not a morning person, and my neighbors can deal with them (or the National Guard, whichever works out).

....give them all pieces of candy for their great costumes and mutter as I close the door "who knew that was a popular Halloween outfit?".

....scream in terror and seal the door.

No, Glirdan, that is not "harsh". I've suffered too much emotional harm lately to think any form of revenge on my ex "harsh". I wouldn't have the orcs kill them; I never said that. I'd have them bound, gagged, roughed up a bit, and taken to Sauron. maybe he would give them what they deserve.

Ok! You cleared that up for me.

Anyway,

I'd probably say out loud " This wasn't in the movie!! Where's PJ!?!?"

Serve them all tea and crumpets with bakeapple jam. Later on, we would have a rousing game of croquet followed by a lovely potluck supper in the garden.

Then I would slay them all with a chair. They are such impolite and messy houseguests.

Hmmm...either:

(1)Wait for them to start attacking me, then start yelling 'Come and see the inherent in the system!'

Or

(2)Convince the orcs that Sauron and Saruman are the Oligarchy and are trying to create a class structure such that they (Sauron and Saruman) could completely control the orcs and take advantage of everything. I would then band the orcs together under their new leader (me) and stage a revolt against the two oligarchs. Once this was over, I would have gotten rid of a major threat to (Middle?) Earth AND formed my own army of 200,000 orcs. Win-win!


(Edit) After all that hard work, I think I wouldn't be able to help but find myself wondering how they all fit on an 8x4-ish piece of wood.

If 200,000 orcs were on my doorstep....

I'd tell them to get the heck out of here and back to Angband before Morgoth flies into yet another rage and kills off half his orc army. If that didn't work I would have to call in the exterminator. Pesky orcs....

I would..
 

:eek:200,000 orcs?:eek: I think i would
A) Scream
B) Faint
C) Well, i doubt i would be able to let them all in the house.-scratch that option-
D) if Gothmog was leading them, i'd Join forces!:p