lol I just thought of something (other than "I'm hungry" or "Futumara rules") If your going to say, that's interesting, it has to be said by Johnny Deep.

The Forbidden Pool.
 

This came from my head.

Not exactly a weapon

here's another one

Monty Python rules!

Yes, Monty Python Rules!

Sorry this is a film one....but since it didn't happen in the book.... wouldn't you just have loved it if Arwen's hand had slipped when she did that "what's this a ranger of the north caught of his guard" thinf... oh %^&*% ...... Aragorn darling ..are you alright?"

Eriador Evening Post

Arwen, daughter of Lord Elrond of Imladris was being questioned last night in connection with the death of her Fiance, Aragorn, Chieftain of the Dunedain and Isildur's heir. Miss Undomiel claims that Mr Telcontar , who was found with his throat slit died as result of a joke that went horribly wrong. The authorities are reopening the investigation into the death of Mr Telcontar's father who was killed in the company of Miss Undomiel's brothers many years ago. .....

:D Good one :D Reminds me of the Last Ride...

Ha! Yes. I can see it now...

I've got a sick sense of humor sometimes...

When elves go bad...

..A sick sense of humour can be a positive thing... :D and while they are perhaps the cutest of all cute elf boys ( I tend to assume the mortal blood might make them slightly hunkier and less androgenous looking) I can't help thinking that there is something a little sinster about them ........ I mean they should have got over that dressing alike thing a few millenia ago and however devoted they were to their mother perhaps they sould have other hobbies apart from killing orcs ..... ? I just think of the Krays..... then I thought I read somewhere that Arathorn's pa also died when out with them ....... but maybe that was a mistake.... and why isn't Elrond at all bothered that they want to stay in Middle Earth? May be he was nervous .... no scope for realms of their own ...... maybe he feared an accident..!!!!!

Morgoth: Where is that spider?
Ungoliant: *sucks light*
Morgoth: Uh...Ungoliant? I got a job for you. I'm gonna give you the feast of a lifetime! Just help me!
Ungoliant: Light? I'm there!
Morgoth: Ok, well, you can start by making a lader up the mountain
Ungoliant: K *makes web lader*
*While Melkor is climbing, the ladder brakes*
Morgoth: Ok...I'm gonna let that one slide! Let's just get to those trees!
Ungoliant: Yes! Light! *tries to poison the tree, but breaks fangs*
Morgoth: Um...on second though, maybe I'll just try to corrupt Feanor to do it!

Paths of the Dead:

King of the Dead swings his sword. Aragorn goes to block but Anduril breaks.
KD-"The Blade that was Broken has been broken anew."
KD then kills Aragorn and Co. and Sauron proceeds to take over Middle-earth.

Ambush at Weathertop:


WK: i stab you with my blade *breaks* umm...tickle tickle tickle!

Frodo: no not the dreaded tickles of Mordor!

WK: umm sure why not...

*aragorn jumps in with fire, but slips and Torch falls on him, thus setting himself on fire and starts running around on fire*

Hobbits: our hero...

*nazgul standing around pointing and laughing at aragorn*

LOL

that was really funny

have you guys ever played mortal combat 4. scorpions fire breathing fatality,and aragorn burned and dancing around ,thats what it sounds like. :D

Thanks ruts, i just stumbled on this thread and thats what came to mind...

Woah! I just thought of something! What would happen if...

Sauron: Yes! I am the all powerful Sauron! Personified in this eye, I shall rule the world! Nothing can stop me!
*starts raining*
Sauron: Noooo! I'm evaporating! Noooooo

woah. it's been a while.
 

*on the bridge of Khazad-Dum*
Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!
*Gandalf whams his staff down on the bridge. bridge does not break. Seeing this, Gandalf proceeds to thump his staff on the bridge and mutter, "come on..." still nothing happens. the balrog just kind of sits there, slightly stunned.*
Balrog: what are you doing?
Gandalf: Trying to break the bridge, what's it look like?!
Balrog: oh. well, here, I'll save you the trouble. *jumps off bridge, and falls to his demise*
Gandalf: *watches the balrog for a while* well, that was easier than I thought. *chuckles* that "staff doesn't work" trick gets 'em every time...

There is only three letters that can describe that! LOL!

*At the Black Gate*
Aragorn charges orcs, swings his sword. Sword lies off the handle.

based on something that happened to a friend.

ha! good one, Zebedee! did that seriously happen? too funny!

here's another one:

Gandalf: Prepare to fire!
Soldier in charge of Trebuchets: Prepare to Fire!
Gandalf: On my volley! FIRE!!
*soldier pulls lever*
*trebuchet breaks into pieces*
Soldier: Uh oh....
Ringwraiths: Well that's a time saver
Gandalf: This is unexpected! RUN AWAY!

Another Monty Python one! (Rather condensed and altered due to poor memory).

*scene: Mordor; the highest room in the tallest tower...whoops, how'd that get in there? ;) Frodo is being questioned by an orc*

Orc: "Why did you come here? What were you doing? Were you alone? Did you take the rest of last night's slop?"

Frodo: "Stop it! I don't know, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition!!"

*door is flung open; three dubious looking characters enter*

Cardinal #1: "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our main weapons are fear, terror...er, wait..um, well, nobody expects it!"

Orc: "How convenient, now I can have an early lunch." *leaves*

Cardinal #1: "Now halfling, confess!"

Frodo: "What?"

Cardinal #2: "Confess!"

Frodo: "Confess what?"

Cardinal #1: "Of your crimes to the church!"

Frodo: "What church?"

Cardinal #1: "The Catholic church of course! Now confess!"

Frodo: "But I haven't done anything!"

Cardinals (chanting) : "Confess! Confess! Confess!"

Frodo: "I won't confess to something I haven't done!"

Cardinal #1: "Stubborn, eh? Cardinal Fang, bring in...the fluffy cushions!"

*Cardinal #3 leaves and returns with three sofa cushions*

Cardinal #1: "Now confess!"

Frodo: "No!"

Cardinal #1: "Very well, then we will have to poke you with the fluffy cushions until you confess!"

*Cardinals proceed to poke Frodo with cushions; the seams split and stuffing spills out*

Cardinal #1: "Drat! Will you confess?"

Frodo: "No!"

Cardinal #1 to Cardinal #2: "Bring in...the comfy chair!"

Cardinal #2 (horrified) : "The comfy chair?!"

*leaves and brings in a comfy looking armchair*

Cardinal #1: "Now confess or you will be forced to sit in...the comfy chair!"

Frodo: "I won't confess until you tell me what the hell is going on here!"

Cardinal #1: "Because you will not confess you must sit in the comfy chair until you do!"

*pushes Frodo onto chair; Frodo begins to bounce up and down on the seat, the chair breaks*

Cardinal #1: "Bloody hell!"

Very funny, Nim! This one takes place in Amon Hen.

Boromir leaps at Frodo, who barely dodges and then slips the Ring unto his finger. Problem is: he's not invisible.

Frodo: "Aw hell..."

Another Monty Python!

*eomer rides to see Theodred on the ground with arrows in him*

Eomer: "oh no! we must avenge theodreds death!"

Theodred: actually i'm not quite dead, i guess Orc arrows are really slave arrows, you get what you paid for

Eomer: ohh... well fear not oh mortally-wounded Theodred! stay here while i slay every orc in rohan!

Theodred actually i'm quite okay i think i can go with you

Eomer: no! stay down! it'll be good for my...ummm...

Theodred: Idium?

Eomer: yes idium! thank you good prince, now rest here till i return, actually i probaly have more to say so i'll just do my buisness first then come back okay

Theodred: uhh okay...

*eomer walks into bushes, but then some orcs run up and take theodred and tie him up in a tree, then the three hunters coem by, take the two orcs and tie them up in side by side trees and then run away*

Eomer: ah sweet freedom...theodred?! what are you doing in that tree!

Theodred: funny story really...

Eomer: if your going to die up there then so shall i! *pulls out sword and stabs himself, but the sword snaps in half

Theodred: ...

Orcs: ...

Strongbad: ...

Orc(1): well you know what they say... always look on the bright side of life!

*everybody breaks into a song number while Theodred struggles to free himself after realizing blood is dripping down his head*


rather off-course but still defective weapon(s) none the less

Scene: Boromir just saved Merry and pippin from being cut into swiss cheese by an orc in fotr.

Boromir grabs his horn and blows:: ..."high pitched whistle"

<mean while> all the dogs in middle earth run to aide Boromir since they heard the call of the dog-whistle of Gondor

(ok kinda dumb, but i just thought of it)

From the current CbC chapter . . .
 

That sudden sword-drawing move kills people, Aragorn.

different endings in the EE would be very entertaining indeed

"Battaries not included!"
 

Saruman after trying to convince Gandalf to join Sauron's Pink-clad followers, prepares to reason with him...


Saruman: okay that's it Gandalf! I've told you, and now no more warnings! Pink is your colour!

Gandalf: No, and it's no one's as far as i'm concerned... that's why you're so easy to manipulate! I hate pink and i'm not afraid to admit it!

Saruman: Prepare to be scared by the power of Pink forever! *Saruman puts on one of his ugliest faces and points staff in Gandalf's direction, a blinding flash of pepto bismol smoke fills the area...

When the smoke clears, Saruman notices that something has gone drastically wrong. he is clad in A pink feathery Elton John coat and matching pleather pants!

Gandalf sees' his chance and reveals all viewing palantir's to saruman's pinkness...

Saruman ( as gandalf edges closer to the palantir...): DON'T. YOU. DARE!...

*gandalf swipes off covering and saruman is revealed!

*Denethor's palantir: AH! Eck! I thought that stuff was abolished! I'm soo glad boromir hasn't taken an interest...
*Boromir sneek peeks: Ooh! More fashion insperations!
D: Don't even think about it! if you want your ABBA records to survive!
B: Meep! I'm sorry I won't, I won't ! Besides, his feather's are not that fluffy anyway...

*Sauron's palantir: Whoa! When did that happen? *Sauron's eye looks around innocently...

Back to saruman...

Saruman: What! How could this be! i...i meant it for gandalf! not me...
suddenly in utter embarassment saruman notices that he forgot to add three double aa battaries to his staff...

Saruman: But, i just added some five minutes ago!... Cheap Dunlander's!


*********************************************
Ah... that was horrible... :(

hope i'm not yelled at...

~Nervous ka~

"its not pink its light red!"


oh what poor hobbit will pick the chunk of rock stuck in treebeards hand after trying to throw on an atkins diet?

*"it's not pink, it's light red!"*
Gil-galad, have you by chance seen a certain episode of "Red vs. Blue?"

Not a very good one, but on the bridge of Khazad-dum the Balrog's sword did break when Gandalf blocked it from spliting his head in half.

No Deviations!
 

Oh, whatever! You certainly have not talked to your local P.A.S.F.C.P. chapter member... There is a Great difference, and the real pink is not light red, that is just another delusion... ;)


~Ka, Board Director and chairholder of P.A.S.F.C.P.~

you can find more information on the real pink saga by following this link... read the whole page. you will leave with some info.

why yes i have thank you, and its much easier to easy pink then light red, but its still similar