The black squirrels on our campus are evil as well. They attack us on a regular basis.

Gandalf: Where'd you get the coconut?
Saruman: I found it.
Gandalf: Found it? In Isengard? The coconut's tropical!
Saruman: What do you mean?
Gandalf: Well, this is a temperate zone
Saruman: The crebain may fly south with the sun or the Balrog or the Nazgul may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
Gandalf: Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
Saruman: Not at all. They could be carried.
Gandalf: What? A crebain carrying a coconut?
Saruman: It could grip it by the husk.
Gandalf: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.

....you get the point :rolleyes:

Gandalf: This is the dumbest sayantz* I've ever been to! Obviously that's your right hand poking the cloth up.





*I can't spell it and dictionary.com was no help! How can one look up a word when they can't spell it!?

A casual talk betwen Gandalf and Saruman about interior decoration, spawned the idea that would become the greatest soap ever. . . Designing Wizards

*cough seance cough*

Gandalf: I can't believe it worked...

Saruman: I know, the formula I invented was a stroke of genius! Now help me dig Grima out from under his new eyebrows...

(Ha ha, maybe I shouldn't be allowed to spell-check, I tried to spell it 'forumla'!)

Gandalf: ...but I'm telling you, underneath that drapery is Count Olaf!

Saruman: Nonsense, Count Olaf has one eyebrow, and this Palantir has no eyebrows.

Brad Dourif in the barber chair: No, Chris, I don't think we should do a spoof of the shaving scene in "Mississippi Burning"...I still have the scars from the first time!

Christopher Lee: No, we just want to give you some highlights. Put on this smock...

Ian: You'll look divine!

Saruman: you know that old man down why west-fold?

Gandalf: uh yes?

Saruman: well you know that whole 'magic bowling ball' thing hes been ranting about?

Gandalf: uh...sure...what about it?

Saruman: *points to cloth*

Gandalf: get out! no way! dude really! i can't beleive it! it's taken us like forever to get it!

Saruman: nah i'm just pulling you its only a Palantir

Gandalf: i hate you...lets battle to the death while i get saved by an eagle

Saruman: fine then i will create an evil army and kill people...

Istari discuss the fabric of Arda.

Gandalf: Thanks to all those who posted and pm'ed with the proper "seance" we can proceed!
Saruman: Exactly. We have raised a new picture!!
http://www.andrearomeo.com/archive/images/taylor.jpg
They also managed to raise Taylor's doppelganger!

Man: And this is one of The Hazy-orcs, you need to have spectacles like mine to see them.

Orc: Has anyone got a tablet, my head is a bit fuzzy.

Man: "Oh, right. There's a big, scary monster right behind me. Yeah, like I'm gonna fall for that one."

Taylor's new job at drug rehab was really starting to get him down.

OR

Richard Taylor was disappointed not to get the roll in The Sound of music, but to lose it to THAT guy was the final insult.

The REAL ex-girlfriend of doom...
 

Quoth Mr. Taylor: "Why...why won't she leave me alone? The stalking is bad enough, but the slavering..." <shudders>

Taylor: But PJ, I was working from your ideas, I thought this was what you wanted Arwen to look like!

Orc: I am Ugluk! I command! Now you all better listen to me! <excessive control-freak ranting>

Taylor: Okay...so experimenting with a female Ugluk wasn't the greatest idea...

What made the orc really scary was the sweater it was wearing. . . .So last year!

Photographic proff that WETA is the same as every other company in the world: We all have a cube-mate just like that.

For Family Guy fans...
 

After the fall of Sauron, it was hard to find work for Orcs. This one tried to be a waiter, but he was still too nosey.

Orc: Who ordered the fish stake?

Richard: I hardly think that’s any of your business!

OR

Orc: Hay! Hay! Mr Taylor! Hay! Remember me!

Taylor: Aaagh. I used to go to school with that guy.

Finally, photographic proof that old Goths have pointy ears.

SoapNet was becoming even more desperate...


~ Ka

Both men contemplate why th doorknob is in the shot
right bottom corner

Richard Taylor: "Yeah, so what if Grushgrug can't sing?"

Middle-Earth Idol contestant Richard Taylor was less than thrilled with the judge that would be picking his song to sing in the next round...

Announcer: "Congratulations, you've won! And your prize is... A kiss from our *ehem* lovely Edith!"

Orc: Excuse me, I can't get this makeup off, I think the hobbits swapped the adhesive for super glue.

Man: Oh well at least you'll be a stick on sure thing as an extra in The Hobbit.

Orc: What!!!!!!!!, I can't wait that long.

Man: So THAT'S what orc women look like!

Other Man: Nope that's a dwarf woman. That's why last year Dale's biggest export was skin-care products to the Lonely Mountain, closely followed by shampoo.

OR

Man: So THAT'S what orc women look like!

Other Man: Nope that's an Entwife!!

New?
 

Orc: I think it's time for a new Picture!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...orsmadness.jpg

Denethor lost his Teddy Bear! :(

OR

The Steward learns not to play with fire the hard way.

Years of sitting on cold marble had given Denethor a serious haemmorhoid problem.

"Achooo!"

At Home With The Stewards.

"Sharrronnn!!!"

After losing both arms, Denethor found it hard to play Tennis and so gave up.

OR

Boromir: Father... I'm... a member of the Gandalf the grey fan club!

Denethor: No-oooooooo!

Denethor once again found him self crying, after an argument with his throne.

or

Once again Denethor fell down the stairs as he was sitting in the Kings throne.

Denethor: Someone has super-glued my arms and legs together! FAAARAAAMIIIR!!!

OR:

A tomato stain on my favourit dress, NOOOOO!

OR:

Denethor having a bad hair day.

OR even:

Denethor: I'm blind! I can't see! HELP ME!
Faramir: *sigh* Father, open your eyes... (duh!)

Denethor's mother often warned him, "If you hold that expression too long it'll get stuck that way." Sadly, Denethor never did believe her....

Denethor: I WANT MY MUMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Denethor daydreaming about being spanked when he was young.

"Oooh! Me coccyx is broken!"

Denethor discovers the hard way that he's now too old for surfing down the stairs on an old tea tray from the refectory.

Pippin (off screen): My Lord, why do you close your eyes?

Denethor: If I can't see what going on then it truly isn't.

The horror
 

"Never again shall I bet on De Montfort to win the Boat Race"

"After opening a few windows, Denethor made Pippin promise to cut down his protein intake"

"A short time later, the Steward abolished practical jokes involving drawing pins"

"I thought I told you never to sing that song"

No uncloaking jokes! Serously!
 

Denethor watches in horror as Boromir explodes for no reason.

OR

Denethor is denied his Happy Meal.

A Throne Room Named Desire
Denethor: STELLLA!