At last Aragorn stirred. 'Gandolf!' he said. 'Beyond all hope you return to us in our need! What veil was over my sight? Gandolf Foogray!'

'Gandolf,' the old man repeated. 'Yes, that was the name. I was Gandolf Foogray.'

'Ha! Saruman!' Aragorn answered in triumph. 'I knew it was you. I tricked you! I tricked you!'

And with these words he swung Andúril at the White Wizards head who fell down and was no more. But the malice of Saruman was not undone, for when Gimli looked closer at the corpse it still remained in the shape of their old friend.

'Alas! the forgetfulness of the old!" cried Legolas.

Aragorn: Well if you're Gandolf Foogray, then I am Arrowgone son of Arrowstorm Hair of Helen Dills son His Ill Door and my companions are Leggy Lass and Jim Lee

Gandalf:Well using words for a weapon won't hurt anybody, did u learn nothing at school??

gandalf: i have been sent back...to ask legolas if he uses hair straightners

Movie Announcer: ...and for our valued guests, subtitles will be provided for those who don't speak Drunk.

darn prosthetics...
 

Gandalf: "Yes, I know it's Gandalf the Grey, I just messed up the line again! It's nearly impossible to talk straight with this giant prosthetic nose hanging down in front of my mouth!"

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d7...romir-horn.jpg

Pippin: "I told you there were monsters under the bed!"

Narrator: And then Boromir the Viking in his miniskirt threw the pumpkins to the ground, and faced Batman and Catwoman with his blowgun...*throws papers in air* This makes no sense! I quit!!

Or...

After Boromir kills Merry & Pippin, he turns and plays "When Johnny Comes Marching Home" furiously on his fife at the...Catwoman clones.

Boromir: oh no its the dreaded Uruks who say Ni!

Pippin: what?

Uruk:Ni! Ni! Ni!

Pippin and Merry: Ah ah!!

Boromir:Don't worry! my training protects me from Ni! and they will never guess my only weakness!

*twang*

Boromir:ow... well its not exact

*twang* *twang*

Boromir:bleedin'...


|:::| OR |:::|

Uruks:Ism Ism Ism!

Don't Bogart that . . .
 

"Ooooooo! With you Hobbits it's always all about Longbottom leaf. But a couple of draws on your pipe filled with the weed of Gondor and you're passed out. Think I'll have another fatty. Yee Gawds! I can see faces in the trees! Here! You uruks help me find my pants. Got any cookies? Even lembas won't satisfy the munchies!"

Boromir dies from an overdose of Iron in his blood, bitterly regretting not learning how to play Reveille, so that he could wake the two lazy snoring hobbits.

Boromir: Don't worry! I'll fire some sleeping darts at them! *inhales* Aaagh! *Falls asleep*

Orc: :confused:

OR

Boromir: Eeeh... What’s up doc?

Orcs: Hey you! This little party of yours is over, we've been hearing complaints none-stop from the elven neighbors. Drop the drinking horn and we won't have to go any further...

Boromir: *blink blink* Hey, Yooou're not Orcs!

Orc: Come now, drop the horn or we'll... Wait, what did you say?

Boromir: Yeah, Yeah... You're not Orcs, you're just the broadway production of Cats in smelly armor!

Orcs: ... That's it, you're coming with us. You are obviously way too under the influence, and giving alcohol to underaged minors! For shame...

Orc: He might be right you know, I Ought to Be in Pictures... Just like Neil Simon said.

Orc: Oh come off it!

~ Ka

The hobbits decided to host an intervention for Boromir but things weren't going well and the hobbits ended up drinking so much that they passed out.

Orc: Aaaggh! Could you help me? I've been stabbed in the leg with this bow!

The orcs approach for the kill, but Boromir just laughs at his "hallucinations" and takes another swig of ale.

Boromir's mating call didn't work out exactly as he planned it.

You know what they say: It's all fun and games until Leif Erikson gets a pipe lodged in his throat.


OR


The hobbits learned a very important lesson that day: "Don't make fun of a Viking's skirt."

Guy in Big Cat suit: "No really, I am evil!"
Everyone else: *falls down laughing*

Saruman: Remember Grima, if Isenguard and Sauron don't work, I can always fall back on my days as a successful Avon hand model...

Grima: ... What about me master?

Saruman: Uhh... Well, you would only cut for a second rate Sally Hansen or, possibly a BonBons model, of course only in dark, obnoxious colours. Sorry Grima, you might as well advertise inexpensive wrist watches...


~ Ka

Saruman: Remember Grima, if Isengard and Sauron don't work, I can always fall back on my days as a successful Avon hand model...

Grima: ... What about me master?

Saruman: Uhh... Well, you would only cut for a second rate Sally Hansen or, possibly a BonBons model, of course only in dark, obnoxious colours. Sorry Grima, you might as well advertise inexpensive wrist watches...


~ Ka

orc: Of course it was easy to find you! You're hiding behind the only big tree in the forest.

!
 

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g3...rmegil/Orc.jpg

Orc: Who are you calling ugly?

or

Orc: *thinking* Nice specimen, good strong jaw line, OH!!! And eyes to die for!!! We may have a winner. Being seleceted to judge the Miss Orthanc Beauty Pagent was the greatest thing that ever happened to me because quite frankly SHE'S HOT!!!

Another intense staring contest.

You may not belive this, but this is the greates make-up artist the world has ever seen!

Orc: I just love Monet's use of color, don't you?

or

The nerdy Orc stands up to his Uruk bully.
Orc: You want a piece of me?
Uruk: *push*
Orc: Ahh! My pancreas!

Orc: Excuse me; do you know there is a huge spike in your head?

OR

Orc: *Sniff* He reminds me of my father!

Ugliness contests can be difficult to decide.

Good , good I will tell Saruman that we have sorted out another defect, this species does'nt need to use its ears to keep an helmet on.

Little orc: Whats that weird thing attached to your head?
Big orc: My face :mad:
Little orc: :eek: oh!!
Big orc: (Wham!)

Victoria Beckham prepares to put her make-up on.

Orc: "Hey, did you know if I eat Oreos they turn my spit black??? See!"

Ork: "Please, sir, I want more!"

Orc: Saruman! This one has a pimple!

Uruk: "You're looking a bit rough these days. I think you'd have been better staying with the Malfoys, Dobby."

This guy is just baffled by his failure at Lord of the Rings movie auditions.

Orc: Sorry, you're not tall enough to ride the Orthank roller coaster of Doom.

Other: I'm taller than you!

Orc: Hay! I don't follow the rules; I just make them.

OR

Orc: I don't know... you don't look very evil to me...

Orc: "What do you mean my nose looks like Saruman's?"

Small Orc: You know hunny, you could have said that we needed some time appart... there was no need to calling me names and making me feel like an elf!

Orc: I hate to tell you this, but, green is always better...


~ Ka