PJ and Saruman try their hand at the Cingular "More bars in more places" commercials but come up a few bars short.

Neither Peter Jackson, the experienced film maker, nor Christopher Lee, the well renounced actor, could ever have expected to see Ian Macellan... crying over dropping his ice cream.

Here presented is a paparazzi shot from the Isengard Times of Saruman and his new international ally- the Dark Lord himself.

PJ: "He's really all right, not too dangerous usually."

Tenant: "I don't care, sir. The contract you signed says 'no pets or wizards to be kept in the house' and that's what it means."

PJ: "There's a good subject for you to test your fireball on."

World Cup anyone?
 

Saruman and Wormtongue look on crestfallen as their favorite team, Argentina, is knocked out of the World Cup.

-or-

Saruman and Wormtongue look on crestfallen as their favorite team, England, is knocked out of the World Cup.

-or-

Saruman and Wormtongue look on crestfallen as their favorite team, Brazil, is knocked out of the World Cup.

It had to come sooner or later...
 

Although the sight was horrible neither PJ nor Saruman could look away from... :D Gandalf uncloaked :rolleyes:

PJ: Alright Chr... I mean, Mr. Lee, let's do this one more time... it's step, step, look to the right, turn, stop, moonwalk, look to the left, ok? it's not so hard...

Breakdancing Balrog.
 

Saruman: I say, is he supposed to do that?

PJ: I dunno, but he's good.

Casting
 

"I'm sorry sir, but we're going to have to go with Christopher Lee on this one. He just looks more...Saruman-like I'd have to say."

PJ: "Well I do have the beard though."

Gandalf causes some smoldering problems on set...

PJ: He's doing it again, isn't he?

Saruman: ...Yes

PJ: If only we could have kept him away from that hobbit weed, we only have a limited amount for the limited amount of scenes the hobbits actually smoke!

Saruman: At least he's not in his uncloaking hype again...

PJ: True... True...


~ Aesthete

Gandalf: Turn your head to the left.

(PJ and Saruman do so)

Gandalf: Oh, Simon didn't say!

OR...if anyone here is a Celebrity Death Match Fan.

Jackson: I want a good clean fight. Now, Let's get it on!

Saruman punts his new friend around the flooded and water damaged Isengard, complaining bitterly about the clean up bill, and who is going to pay, and furthermore how he never got his feet wet when he was Count DracDooku

If you've seen the extended documentary stuff...
 

PJ: "All right, if I hear one more person teasing Christopher about "not being able to get up the stairs in his dress" people are going to get fired."

Lee: *pouts*

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d7...155-goblin.jpg

Troll: "Where there's a pot, there's a way."

Gandalf was never helpful in the morning.

OR

Before they were famous: The Balrog of Moria.

The Orc picked Frodo up to get a closer look at his tattered boots, but was greatly surprised to see that they were not in fact boots, but the hobbit's very, very hairy feet!! :eek: :D

A Blurri-hobbit
 

Troll: Ere what are you?

Bilbo: I'm supposed to be a hobbit, however by the look of you the artist does'nt seem to have read the books

Desperate Trollwives???
 

Doctor: "Here's the newborn sir!"

William: "What? He doesn't look at all like me! ETHEL!!! Is there something you need to tell me!?"

A sharp temper wasn't the only feature that made hobbits stay out of Aunt Lobelia's way...

Sort of based off Naria's...
 

TROLL: "And since when do Hobbits wear socks? And tattered socks, at that?"

BILBO: "Um... since about the same time that Trolls started looking like hornéd toads?"

A Middle-Earth "pick me up".

It was particularly dangerous to travel through the Misty Mountains as there were the wandering bands of wedgie orcs.

Orc: AHA! Got you! WEDGIE!!!

Anyway...

Troll: Let's see... "Best before 145 II age"

OR

Troll: a package for a Mr. "Neckromancer-who-is-defiantly-not-the-Dark-Lord-Sauron-looking-for-his-lost-ring-of-power-with-which-he-could-take-over-the-world."

OR yet!

Troll: Hmmm... I'd say about 14 ounces. That'll be 59 pounds mate.

Bilbo's mother before she put her "face" on for the day.

Picking up on TORE's post
 

The troll midwife started to think she had smacked the wrong end...

Following TorE & Mith...
 

Looks like someone took a smack at the midwife...

And I predicted both games...
 

An enraged German fan prepares to chuck a victorious Italian fan.*

-or-

An enraged Portugal fan prepares to chuck a victorious French fan.*


*No offense to either German or Portuguise fans, I'm sure you look nothing like that! :D

In an alternate version of The Hobbit Tolkien toyed with the idea of creating Theagol older brother of Smeagol

Theagol: Alright enough riddles what do you have in your pockets?

Very early in his career, Sauron tried to cater to the parential needs of his orcs and other servants - Dark Tower Adoption Service, where hobbits were rare, but greatly desired for the holiday season...

Orc: Timothy! Oh Tim! Look, I've found a hobbit one! And it's feet are completely free of lice! Wow, what a bargain!...

~ Aesthete

1001
 

Troll: What about their heads? They don't need those!

OR

Troll: Who are you? Lobilia?

Bilbo: :mad:

Troll: "So you're the wise guy that glued these turnips to my ears!!!" :eek:

Troll scientists.
 

Williams: "This is Homio Sapiens Burrahobbitus."

Tom: "Come on! That ain't nothin' but a pint sized Homo Sapiens Sapiens."

Bert: "It's Homo Quendi Pygmyus you gourd-brain!"

Williams: "There ain't no such thing as Homo Quendi Pygmyus you lunkhead!"

Tom: "I'm hungry! Lets boil it!"

EDIT: Hooray! This is my 600th post.

Bilbo instantly knew he had crossed the line with his "A Priest, A Rabbi and an Orc went into a bar..." joke.

Britney Spears catches Bilbo in her makeup room...

Britney: "Now he must die, he knows what really lies underneath the several inches of plastic & makeup!"

Bilbo's greatest peril on his adventures was getting assigned the posting of being John Prescott's new PA.

The Troll/Orc didn't take very kindly to poor Bilbo's comments on his "Donald Trump-like hair"...

Troll: What's it got in it's pockets?

Bilbo: It's just a new picture!

http://img-nex.theonering.net/images/scrapbook/5142.jpg

Pippin: Lets just walk away, maybe they won't find the-

*From behind the orcs* BOOM!

OR

Pippin: I told you to be careful with that Christmas reef thing. I'm not going to get it off you next time!

Pippin and Merry stare in stunned scilence as, not Gandalf uncloaks, but the Uruks!! :eek:

Merry: It was him that made that continuity error not me, why do I have to be the one with all this rope!?