Theoden: So you make the incision here and cut downwards.

Theoden takes great offense at the orc's attempt to imitate Beorn with fake claws and fake bear paws.

(Hint: Check out the bear talk on the currentThe Hobbit Chapter by Chapter thread.)

Théoden: As soon as I get this sword out of the ceiling, you're going to get it! :mad:

OR

As King of Rohan, Théoden had to deal with those little Children on ASBOs in some way...

Theodon, a true nobleman, would check for any hint of body odor even during battle.


or


How dare you make fun of my velvet shirt!


or

How dare you show me a picture of Gandalf the Grey unlcoaked!

Theoden: Aah... aahh...
Orc: Noooo!!
Theoden: Aaaahhh..... choooooo!

Theoden and an orc fight over the last pack of Juicy Fruit.

Theoden hadn't quite worked out that autopsies were supposed to be conducted after death had occurred.

Theoden: You shall fear my wrath foul beast of Mordor. Nothing shalll stay my hand...Wait! What's that? That dog has a poofy tail *prances off after dog* come here poofy.

With a hint of Kath.....................
 

Theoden fails his Open University Anatomy Course when using Herugrim instead of a scalpel.

Theoden: YEEEEEEEER OUUUUUT!

Theoden was caught off guard by the orc's stunning necklace.
Theoden: Is that real diamond?

Inspired by a Monty Python sketch

When the Orc opened his coat to reveal a small sign that said, "Boo", Théoden was terrified!

Strap hanging in Middle Earth Part 2
 

Travelling on the tube in Rohan really could be murder....

Theoden: *Oh, this is so sad... I think I'm gonna cry. Better act angry so people won't know I'm a really sensitive guy!*

Theoden suffers from narcolepsy

Theoden Murray School of Dance
 

"You put your left arm up ... no, up ... that's it,
you put your left down ... no, down ... OK
you put your left arm in and you shake it all about.
Do the Hokey-Pokey and you turn yourself around
... around ... around!!
and that's what it's all about.
OK, I give up. I'll refund your deposit.
Better yet, I'll run you through and keep it.
Heeeyaaawwww!!!"

Before dispatching his foe, Theoden likes to give them front row tickets to the "gun show."

The Orc soon realised why Medelseld had no windows.

Théoden: For the last time, we don't want any double-glazing!

OR

"Height restrictions" were getting strict.

No! It's my Butterfinger! And you can't have it!

Theoden demonstrates his exceptional flamenco dancing skills to the orcs, but his talent is wasted on the uncultured beasts.

Theoden's extreme body dysmorphia gave him an obsession with checking out the size of his own backside every five minutes. It was a good job he also avoided looking in mirrors and so never saw his warty, scaly true self.

Theoden: No more new pictures! I must remain forever!

http://terres.milieu.free.fr/PERSOS/..._galadriel.jpg

Galdriel: It's okay Arwen dear we all see Gandalf the Grey uncloaked in my mirror.


or


Arwen: Don't touch me hag!


or


Galadriel: It's okay, just because Aragorn said he'd rather take up this suicidal crusade rather than spend time with you doesn't me that he doesn't love you.

Arwen: Why didn't anyone come to my birthday party?
Galadriel: I told you booking Dwarves for entertainment was a bad idea, dear.

Galadriel: "Now Arwen are you sure you don't know who chopped a foot off the bottom of this dress.....

Arwen: No, Grannie..

"There, there, dear. Want some toffee? Would toffee make it better, sweetie?"

(All Grannies say that — fact. :D )

A few recurring themes
 

Mine didn't. :p

*-*-*-*

Galadriel: You're in my chair.

Or...

(Galadriel walks up behind Arwen, places her hand on her shoulder, and stares with a glassy-eyed smile at an invisible spot on her forehead. Arwen demands to know what she's doing several times, but receiving no answer, screams and runs off.)

Galadriel: Heh heh, that got her out of my chair.

Or...

Galadriel: Get out of my chair, wench! *shove*

Or...

Musical chairs in Lorien always ended up with someone in tears.

Or...

Galadriel: Dear, why did you drape yourself in toilet paper?
Arwen: I'm in mourning.
Galadriel: I think you're thinking of crepe paper, my dear.

Or...

Galadriel: My daughter, why are you here?

Arwen: I'm just sitting here thinking.

Galadriel: No, I mean 'Why are you here in Lorien?' Aren't you supposed to be on your way to Helm's Deep?

Arwen: *sigh*

Or...

Does anyone else think it looks like they're in a glass tube? o.O

Then...

Galadriel: Beam us up, Scotty

Or...

Arwen: *pouty pout pout*

Galadriel: I told you too much toffee would rot your teeth.

Or...

Galadriel: Darling, I have something to tell you. I'm sorry it had to come from me, but...your father is an idiot.

Or...

Galadriel: You've got your father's hair. Dang. The blonde gene must be recessive. *muttermutterAlatariel, used to be renowned for my hairmuttermutterstupidperedhilruiningthelinemutter mutter*

Or...

Galadriel: You've got your father's hair.

Arwen: Yes, it took me hours to shave it all off.

Or...

Galadriel: ...and this is called a shoulder.

Arwen: I KNOW!!

Or...

Galadriel: ...the elbow bone's connected to the shoulder bone, the shoulder bone's connected to the collar bone, the collar bone...

Or...

Galadriel: Your shoulder is cold. The life of the Eldar is leaving you!


Okay, I'll stop now.

Galadriel: Cheer up Arwen, Oddwen is going to stop captioning us now!
Arwen: *sniffle*

Galadriel: No, no. I'm sure he didn't say "rather put my head in a vice"... I'm sure you miss heard him... He probably said... erm.. "I'd like your advice"

OR

Arwen always had trouble getting to know the strange lorien customs.

Galadriel: The dinner table is behind you.

Galadriel: Now, now, dear, you needn't be jealous - it was only a horse kissing Aragorn!

But he told me he enjoyed it!

Galadriel: So that's where my shawl disappeared to! *snitch!*

Or

Galadriel: Don't feel bad dear, it just takes a certain kind of regality to pull off white! And anyway, you look lovely in your father's purple cloak.

Arwen is dumbstruck as yet another hair stylist asks her if she's "been anywhere nice lately?"

Galadriel: Arwen, of course Elrond is your real father!

Arwen: Damn it, I was so hoping I'd been adopted.

Mine was more likely to offer industrial strength Mint Imperials - and later gin.... :p

Galadriel : "I never said I didn't like Aragorn, I just asked him if he would like to freshen up after his journey"

Galadriel: Okay sweetie, this time let's give you bangs and maybe a few light brown highlights, hmm?

OR


Galadriel: Now, you just stay in the Time-Out chair and think about what you've done! And when I come back, you're going to apologise to Celeborn for mocking his hair, you hear me?

OR

Galadriel: Tag. You're it.
Arwen: .......

Galadriel comforts Arwen after she learned that not only did Aragorn not win The Ocean of Fire horserace but that there is no such race.

Family Ties
 

Arwen: "Grammy, how could she?"

Galadriel: "Look, Elrond is a good elf and powerful lord. But, two children in an age of this world? Celebrian had a few drinks, took in an Aerosmith concert, and . . . well, the rest as they say is history."

Arwen: "I hear they're still touring. Do you have the power to get some tickets?!"

Galadriel: There there my child, Gimli has this effect on a lot of women...why that beard...and that gruff voice...that stubborn personality...and...and... ::sigh:: had only I met him sooner.

Arwen: Who mentioned Gimli?

Arwen: Look, Grannie, I know you like the dwarf-made shoulder pads, but this is ridiculous!

Galadriel: Oh, the silky smoothness!

Galadriel: Just because you saw that flax-haired Rohirrim shieldmaiden galloping across the prairie beside Aragorn doesn't mean that blondes always have more fun. Now be a good girl, put the bleach away, and come with me. I want to show you some exciting new thread colors for your embroidery!

Arwen sits and sulks while Granny drapes her in white shawls in an attempt to persuade her that she can wear something a little brighter than her usual purple Goth dresses.