Fortunately, Bob the Troll squished him before he could hurt either of them.

Unfortunately, he tried to squash Gandalf and Frodo.

Fortunately, Gandalf and Bilbo were in a tank.

Unfortunately Gandalf became crazy and blew up Rosie O'Donnell's house with the tank, his reason was that it would make an awesome beer commericial

Fortunately, Rosie sued him for libel, because she did not want to be associated with beer, and Frodo got off free because of his display of 'pouty eyes of dispair' and was excused from the court room. Gandalf had to try other methods...

~ Aesthete

Unfortunately, Gandalf trapped Frodo in a net with a female Dwarf who beat him up after Frodo accidentally called her "Sir".

Fortunately, Bob the Troll ran over both Gandalf and the dwarf with the tank.

Unfortunatle the Dragon comes in the NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

Fortunately, it was mid-day.

Unfortunately Gandalf and the Dwarf were dead anyway.

Fortunately the dragon was having a nasty spell of insomnia, and Gandalf found that all of his fake-your-own death tapes came in hand...


~ Aesthete

Unfortunately, Legolas was having a dance-a-thon nearby.

Fortunately the dragon decided to eat Legolas.

Unfortunately for the dragon all of Legolas's fan girls attacked him

Fortunately the dragon ate them as well.

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . the dragon burst into bits as the fan girls were too many for his stomach to hold. The fan girls (and Legolas) escaped!

Fortunately the dragon was actually Trogdor, and in all his majesty, came back together to burninate the countryside

Unfortunately, he was in the middle of a city. No countryside for miles and miles and miles.

Fortunately trogodr squashed hookbill's house and everything that is dear to him, then burned the city down to make it into a countryside

Unfortunately this was not a good thing.

Fortunately, while the Dragon distracted everyone, Frodo had made his way to Mordor. Even Sauron was eating popcorn and watching the Dragon.

unfortunately so was sam and gollum dot hold of frodo

Fortunately Gollum was mysteriously far more interested in Frodo's eccentric hobbit clothing than his former precious and so Frodo managed to escape - naked, but safe.

Unfortunatley Gandalf owned the patent on being "unlcoaked, and related wordings" and Frodo had to pay a hefty fine

Fortunately, as was previously mentioned, Melkor had blown up all the courtrooms.

unfortunately that meant lawyers had no where to go so they began to terrorize the world

Fortunately Middle-Earth had plenty of rope.

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . the rope was allergic to lawyers.

Fortunately, Frodo escaped during all of the confusion and was now disguised as a 3-foot-tall rabbit.

Unfortunately, Elmer Fudd spotted him.

Fortunately . . .
 

. . . Elmer Fudd was still the clumsy klutz that he is, and he ended up shooting Gollum.

Unfortunately Gollums ghost came back...

Fortunately, this was a strange kind of ghost, in that, everyone could see him, but he couldn't see them. He ended up haunting a restaurant in the gap of Rohan.

Unfortunately for the umteenth time Frodo refused to destroy the Ring.

Fortunately, a goat butted him into the lava along with the ring.

Unfourtunately sam grabbed his hand frodo slipped but sam had the ring in his hand.

Fortunately, the evil killer teddy bears pushed them both in.

Fortunately . . .
 

. . . Eagles swooped in to take them out of the lava.

Unfortunately, Sam still had the ring in his hand.

Fortunately the Eagles remembered that they were never again going to help anyone, so they dropped Sam into the lava with the ring and life continued on...even though the ring was destroyed before and sam wanted to continue his hunt for Oliphrogs...but now thats Gimli's job