http://www.tuckborough.net/images/mouthofsauron.jpg

The mouth of Sauron, unable to see because of his helmet, was in fact showing the mithril coat of Frodo to a large rock.

The Mouth of Sauron: Psst keep it quiet, I am willing to defect to Minas Tirith, but only if you have an NHS dentist without a waiting list

The newest awareness poster for what happens when you don't brush your teeth:

Mouth of Sauron: Look kids, you could be like me!

And some kids still won't believe their mothers when they say 'Your face will stick like that!'

OR

A toothpaste commercial gone bad.

When scurvy attacks...

The substitute teacher fell for the old 'thumb tack on the chair' gag.

"I am smiling!"

Oh the old jokes...
 

Mouth: I have a token I was bidden to show to thee, to thee in particular old grey beard. A court restriction on all uncloaking for the next five years!

OR

The Mouth of Sauron always wondered why he could never get a girlfriend. Perhaps it was the shoes... yeah, defiantly the shoes.

And you thought your school photo was bad!

or

Don't play with lucite, kids.

(the standard bad teeth joke)
The Mouth of Sauron made a name for himself after the Ring was destroyed by becoming the poster boy for gingivitis.

This is why your parents always told you to fasten your seat belts.

OR

Mouth regretted betting an Orc that he would reach the ground first after jumping off the black gate face first.

The Mouth of Sauron realised that all these years he had worn his helmet backwards...

Mouth: So that's why I couldn't see!

Smile
 

The Mouth sings Smile in the style of that great Dwarf crooner Not King Coal

Smile though face is breaking
Smile though crowns are flaking

Now you know why Black Riders typically wear their hoods over their faces...

Aragorn(off screen): Say Cheeeeese!!

Mouth of Sauron: "What do you mean maybe we should make my helmet a little more protective? Half my face is covered up already, if we add any more they may not be able to see me at all!!"

Head Mordor Promotion Representative: "Uh...yes. That's the idea, sir."

The horror!
 

Contrairy to everyone's advice, the Mouth of Sauron was convinced he had a winning smile to match his winning personality.

-OR-

MoS: Quit shining that flash light on my teeth! They're bad enough as it is!

That's actually Gollum in a Hannibal Lector-style containment/constrainment during his stay with the Wood Elves.
________
Volcano vaporizer reviews

Mouth: What can I say? Mordor snack machines are cheap.

OR

Mouth: I am the mouth of Sauron. But I'm just waiting for the arm and hands to take a look at my teeth.

Let's Make a Deal
 

"Look, I'll trade this mithril coat for some Longbottom Leaf. The chew we have in Mordor isn't fit for orcs!"

MoS: You made me love you, I didn't wanna do it, I didn't wanna do it...

Or...

MoS: You mean they can't look at my teeth? Inconceiveable!

Or...

MoS: ...and I don't even exercise!

Or...

The replies to the Mouth's personal ad dwindled to nought when he added his picture. He wondered why.

Or...

The final day in the Village - in triumph, the last Wolf morphs and prepares to attack the last Villager!

Or...

Luthien: Mother, this is the man I want to marry!
MoS: Hello, Mrs. Greycloak!
Melian: AAAAAIIIIII!!!

Or...

The Flying Nun?!?

Or...

Mother Superior jumped the gun...

MoS: No I am not Darth Vader! Stop asking me!

OR

Public Service Announcement: This is what would happen to Boromir88 if you do not read through the entire thread. :p

Those pesky Orcs had swapped Mouth's toothpaste for glue again. :rolleyes:

OR

And he wondered what went so wrong at the job interview.

Not even the Mouth of Sauron was spared by the yearbook photographer...

~ Aesthete

Going with the helmet joke...
 

The Mouth of Sauron had his helmet ‘uncloak proof’. Gandalf could get frostbite as far as he was concerned.

Some people, no matter who they are, just hate getting a needle.

Mouth: "What do you mean I look like Gilbert Gottfried?"

Mouth of Sauron: "So, mom... dad... What do you think of my new nosering? Do you think it's too big?"

OR

The Mouth of Sauron suddenly realized that he should not have gone with the 'budget' golden teeth.

OR

The Mouth of Sauron thinks he's got some nice grillz.

Haradrim chewing tobacco: Breakfast of champions.

Mouth: I knew I shouldn't have gone with the budget eye care. :rolleyes:

OR

Gandalf gets a horrible vision of what the future could be like if he continued to smoke.
http://forum.barrowdowns.com/ubb/icons/icon9.gif

Hookbill has gotten me to think of something:

The MoS is the first patient in Middle-earth's break through laser eye surgery...

Mouth of Sauron: Awww, Aragorn, you bought me a bouquet of athelas!

(dunno, that's what it looks like to me)

Phew what a stink
 

The words Cheesy Grin refer to the smell and not the look

A Profound Philosophic Dialogue
 

DIAMOND: I'm afraid the Wolves win.

MOUTH OF SAURON: What?! But I killed the last werewolf fair and square...

DIAMOND: Not exactly. You see, there were three extra Cobblers, an Owl, a Pussycat and a secret Cursed Villager.

ELEMPI: Not to mention the Duelling Wizards who transformed you into a Black Beorning.

MOUTH OF SAURON: Argh! And people wonder why I forget my own name! Curse this game and its cruel contortions!

Mouth of Sauron: I have a message from my master I was bidden to tell thee...

Aragorn: Yeah we know, get on with it, so I can chop off your head.

Mouth of Sauron: No! It's a new pic!

http://www.theargonath.cc/pictures/f...llowship13.jpg

Gimli surely didn't expect dwarf women to look like this...

While everyone else stares in horror at Gandalf's cloak-less nature, Pippin says, "Seen it before." and goes back to sleep.

OR

Gimli: Moria!

Legolas: Moria!

Pippin: It's only a model.

Boromir: Shhh!

MoS: I am The Mouthpiece Of Sourone, The Dork-Lord of Bad-Odour and The Lord of the Grins.

(Rearrange Rings=Grins)

Merry stared on in fascination as Gimli began to glow.

I can do anything better than you, no you can't, yes I can
 

In the annual 'I can shoot an arrow further than you can throw an axe contest', Gimli tells Legolas that the elf has won, so he can tell the big fellow with a fiery temper why he's disturbed him