Ubby
 

Unfotunately, it was Falling on them.

Fortunately Legolas, who had acted as...

Legolas: "A Diversion!",

...had been squished by the anvil, which meant he was no longer there to endlessly talk about diversions.

Unfortunately, Bob the Troll clobbered the Hobbits and prepared to roast them over a fire.

Fortunately, he got a heart attack before he could light the fire!

Unfortunately, he fell on the Hobbits.

Fortunately they woke up just before he landed and managed to roll out of the way.

Unfortunately they rolled right into the fire-pit which mysteriously lit by itself.

Fortunately, Denethor had previously jumped into the fire pit, putting it out and causing the rather troubled Steward to light on fire.

Unfortunately he slipped on a Banana peel and fell on the hobbits

Fortunately some nearby monkeys had water balloons and began throwing them at the flaming Denethor and hobbits.

Unfortunately, there were not very good at throwing.

Fortunately there was somehow a fire hydrant right next to Denethor and the hobbits, which the monkeys wrenched the cap off of. (The fire hydrant, not the hobbits.)

Unfortunately, there was no water in the fire hydrant.

Fortunately, it began to rain.

Fortunately, there was a heavy downpour that put the fire out.

Yay, a fortune will be next!
 

Unforunately the smoke from the fire combusted and sent them flying to the barrowdowns!

Fortunately, they landed on the petty dwarves that were stalking Lalwendë and got rid of them.

Unfortunately, the so-called "petty" dwarves turned out to be rather large and angry giants, who were not pleased with being...fallen...on.

Fortunately, the hobbits, monkeys, Denethor, and Bob the Troll all landing on the 'petty dwarves' had pushed them into the ground, so the giants were now stuck.

Fortunately those Petty Dwarf Giants were being stalked by a team of Rangers who killed the Petty Dwarf Giants with a shower of arrows.

Unfortunately, the hobbits, monkeys, Denethor, and Bob the Troll had been standing right in the path of the arrows.

Fortunately, the arrows got confused in a maze of cross-posting & quivered, wobbled, then fell harmlessly to the ground. :p

Unfortunately, because the arrows had killed the Petty Dwarven Giants(oxy-moron! :D ) in post #980 but had fallen harmlessly to the ground in post #982 everyone was really confused. :confused:

Fortunately, after the confusion was over, it turned out that Frodo, the other Hobbits and Gandalf were alive an on the slopes of mount doom. Frodo had the ring in his had. SO Gandalf began nudging Frodo towards the crack of Doom.

Unfortunately Frodo did not like being nudged and so shoved Sting where the sun don't shine (in Gandalf).

Fortunately, it was only a hologram of Gandalf.

Unfortunately Frodo refused to destroy the Ring.

Fortunately, the alien-eating dog suddenly appeared again, bit Frodo's hand holding the Ring off, and jumped into the lava.

Unfortunately Frodo and Sam and M@P died for keeps.

Fortunately Tolkien decided this story was getting a bit difficult and zapped the entire Fellowship to Amon Hen.

Unfortunately the Fellowship were killed by snipers in the service of Alatar.

Fortunately Tolkien reversed this plotline and then killed off Alatar for being such an annoying and repetitive character.

Unfortunately Shelob did not find Alatar very tasty.

Fortunately she was hungry and ate him anyway.

Unfortunately Shelob died of Alatar poisoning.

Fortunately, this was actually a good thing.

Unfortunately, Shelob began to belch forth black smoke and blinded all the members of the Fellowship.

Fortunately, Frodo, after eating at Gollum's Cafe, had a little gas. So the black smoke was blown harmlessly away.

Unfortunately, a steamroller ran over him.

Fortunately, the steamroller was made of chocolate pudding which made it a quite delicious experience