Just when Boromir was striking his best pose, he steps on a spike. That'll teach him to do a concert in a ruined City.

Boromit and many other heroes try to gain money to rebuild Osgiliath by launching an concert called Live Anduin

Boromir:
And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too!
I'll see you on the dark side of the Rhûn!

showing my age....
 

Boromir may have been the disco king but at heart he was a New Romantic......

Boromir: This next one is called, "a new picture!"

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...s/01gollum.jpg

Gollum: What do you mean, 'Move that tree'?

OR

Gollum: Master can stop looking for his pet rabbit now...

Gollum gets a whiff of an Ent's foot fungus.

The Arbor Day advertising commitee was quickly running out of ideas...

Gollum attempts to resurect an old time favorite game...hide and seek.

or

Gollum attempts to resurect an old time favorite game..... head shrinking!! :D

Gollum: Oooooh, cooked rabbit, sssssss, we're going to be sssick, my preciousss.

OR

Gollum: These glassss eyesss hurts my head, precioussssss!

Gollum: We needs not that ugly ring, GOLLUM! GOLLUM!... we haves the new preciousss.... big, tall preciouss... gollum!! Master can keep ugly ring.

Physics.
 

Gollum: If we push this log hard enough, we'll squish the thief Baggins and the fat hobbit!

Sméagol: No, no! The trajectory is all wrong, precious.

EDIT: This was my 4000th post! :D

Sorry, I have to do a few for that awesome Boromir pic.
 

Boromir pic:

Boromir: "I forgot my sword, so I'm going to have to Rock Your Socks Off!"

OR

Boromir: "A day may come when the world of guitars will fall (apart)! A day may come when the playing skill of Men will fail! But it is not this day! Today... We Play!"

OR

Boromir had to tear the entire city apart to find his precious guitar.


Gollum pic:

Gollum: "And bark doesn't taste very good, does it precious."

OR

Gollum: "I like this type of tree... it really offsets my skin-tone. Wait! Is that camera on! NOOOOO!!!"

Gollum: Maybe the precious is under here...

OR

The pressure was too much for Gollum, so he was banging his head against a tree.

Gollum wanted some exercise for his teeth, but he never thought he'd overdo it.

OR

Gollum's going vegetarian.

Ice Age 2 . . . erm, I mean Third Age.
 

Treebeard steps on Gollum's toes—loud profanities ensue.

SMeagel(in quaint british accent):I do say this is quite distressing.
Gollum:I agree Old chap but we must continue to play dumb in order to lure those vulgar hobbitses....I mean hobbits into a false sense of security.

Sam:Where are you stinker?!

Gollum:here silly hobbitses must keep up yesssss...(whispers) bloody 'ell that voice is quite aggitating

The riddle of the Entwives is solved...they ran off en masse to cohabit with that Don Giovanni Smeagol...

Gollum: "No I'm not done yet!!!"

Gollem: "Eat tree bark? What do you think I am? A vegetarian?"

OR:

Gollem to Tollers: "What? You want me to pose touching this pinus nigra for my last picture?"

Smeagol takes up Tree Stealing in order to fund his ring addiction. Only 60 more firs, 12 oaks, and 7 larches left before he had enough money to buy the preciouss back from Frodo.

OR


"Smeagol can run, but he can't hide from Gollum, precious!!!"
"He finds us again!! Has to be a way to get rid of him, preciouss!"

Sam: Easy, Gollum, easy... (turning to Frodo) ... I told you he's stronger when mad, Mr Frodo, I told you! You should have never tried to make him swear by his precious!
Frodo: Good Smeagol, nice master... (turning to Sam) ... Stronger?! Stronger?I He took that whole pine out, roots and all! Good Smeagol... nice... What shall we do now?
Sam: Easy, Gollum, easy... I'd say run for it, Mr. Frodo.
Frodo: What if he's also faster when mad? Good Smeagol, nice master...
Sam: Dunno, Mr Frodo... easy, Go...ouch...that hurt...no, stop that... a-ah... run Mr. Frodo, ru...ouch...

Gollum realised that, once again, the thing he kicked thinking to be a football, was, in fact, a bee's nest.

The burly Highlanders quaked in their boots as Gollum decided to take part in the Caber Toss event.

(Sorry in advance for the potty humor, again :rolleyes: )

Gollum: If you can find a better tree with less visibility, you let me know.


or


Smeagol: Nasty bark, not good eats at all.

Gollum: NO! Not at all precious still it's better than Sam's tatter stew.

I sense a sitcom!
 

Gollum steps out of the shower just as Sam walks into the bathroom.

or

Gollum is offended by Sam's lack of enthusiasm for the carpet design he just picked out.

or

Gollum can't believe that no-one likes his watercolour depiction of The Anduin from the air.

or

Gollum fearfully shows Sam the inky stain he got on his new shirt.

Horror films . . .
 

Gollum: Isn't this the part where the ugly beast attacks us from behind, eh, precious?

"Ooohh!! Samwise, the gardener, thinks he knows everything. Well, I'm telling you that this is a blue spruce. It's the same color as my eyes!"

Few knew that Gollum actually presented Frodo Baggins with a choice between his bark and his bite. Its assumed the Ring-bearer made the right decision and opted against the frightening husk.

Had to continue the Gollum theme!!


Sorry it's so small!:D

Gollum at tree pic:

Unfortunately he came to the 'Cave Troll' event. A thing that involved Cave Trolls throwing trees around... It was not a pleasant sight. :(

Other Gollum Pic:

Mr. Smeagol was trying on some of the latest wigs.

New Gollum pic:


Gollum's underpants were clearly not washed with the same product as Gandalf's robes...

He needs a music video.
 

Gollum: [makes engine noises] Vroom, vroom, vroom! [pauses] Wait, we don't have carses in Middlearth, precious....

(....okay so it looks like a steering wheel....)

Now to snap stupid fat hobbittesses' naked butt with his towel!!

Gollum: Now we puts the filthy Hobbitses into this sack and throws them off a cliffses!

OR

Gollum: Aww! My favourite rabbitses! We loves it soo much. *crack*... ... ... oops...

Had Gollum known that he over night had grown a tale, he would never had put his teeth in what appeared to be a nice pice of meat.

Gollum's hitchhiking motto: Have towel, will travel.

Middle-Earth Fear Factor
--------------------------
Gollum (host): "And now for the final competition between Master & Fat Hobbit. You must try to eat this disgustingly slimy slug without puking. Why? Because the only way we'll get good ratings is by shocking our audience so we try our best..."

Gollum: "Wicked tricksy Dracula! He didn't give us the ratses he promised uss!"