I assign the idiocy of popping pills with no water. I was sitting in the middle of class with a splitting headache and one of the pills caught in my throat mid-quiz. I mean... seriously, it's hard enough writing a mini-paper comparing Odysseus to Dante while trying to remember if you got the seven deadly sins right on question one and wondering what the heck Filippo Argenti actually did without an Advil liqui-gel stuck somewhere near your collar-bone. :rolleyes:

Really, I should just assign the headaches that have plagued me for the past few weeks. They really ought to go away and leave me be. When you're swearing at the moon for being too bright, there's a slight problem. :(

Do you mean the necessity? Or the people who can do it and flaunt it?

The necessity is a horrid thing, but consider the case of my brother Sam who can and does swallow upwards of seven huge horsepills daily sans liquid. And then smiles at me chugging away.

And on behalf of my sister, I shall assign having a mouth so small that you can't swallow pills and so small that the dentist is impeded and complains.

I assign being ill on holiday and on your birthday :( Celebrating is no fun when you can't breathe.

I assign the irratation of finally finding the time to fill my long over due save only to have my success thwarted by error 502 :mad:

I mean the necessity. I was in the middle of a quiz in the middle of class and I'm currently mysteriously ill, so I didn't want to borrow a friend's water. Usually I can swallow even the largest pills without water, but I should have known better than to try two at once with a sore throat.

I also assign the sheer annoyance of finding little chunks of meat in your "meatless" spaghetti sauce. If I'd wanted meat sauce, I'd have taken it from the kind labelled as such!

I assign the fact that you need to rep 10 other people before you can rep someone you've repped before. Now I owe Nilp TWO reps and I made the big mistake of letting him know through PM, which means that now he'll be stalking me until I fulfil my promise

On that note, I assign Nilp for being so rep-thirsty.

Hehe . . .
 

Won't work. I'm already here. Made a cameo, even. (That was loads of fun. :D )

Besides, I'll be reminding you through reps. Don't you like reps? ;)

I assign the way the gasman always comes when I'm in the bath.

Also, Kath leaving for extended periods of time. It makes MSN boring.

Ah but Kath always comes back!

I assign computer programs that won't set up for no apparent reason! I mean, one did, but one won't - why!

Once again, A Medieval Total War related assignment.

I was quite pleased with myself and my empire stretching from the Balkans to the North Sea, not to mention my Crusader holdings, when three - yes THREE - different nations attacked me within the space of three years. One of them was the Pope.

Anywho, because of this, I would like to send ganging up on others to Mordor. Those countries have no right to behave in a co-ordinated, united manner when I could devour them piecemeal! Oh, wait...

These past three days can go to Mordor.On wednesday I found out that the essay I thought was due in another weeks time was due on Friday. Plus I had a midterm to study for. Basically I had no life for two and a half days!!!!

To Mordor with people who cancel on you at the last minute. As in, half an hour before they're supposed to be somewhere, and in doing so really bleeping you off so that it becomes a real effort to enjoy yourself.

Bleh
 

1. Economics class. I thought I was done with math, but noooooo, here comes big nasty AP Macroeconomics to devour my soul and make me feel dumb.
2. Friends who become very full of themselves and act mean.
3. The bookstores never having the graphic novel you need to complete the collection.
4. When you are about to do someone a favor and he suddenly says something stupid and you think "what a jerk" instead.
5. Having to sing pieces in chorus which are not only religious in nature, but also devoid of anything melodically or harmonically interesting.

The way all the people I consider to be my Barrow-peers are 18 or older. I feel so... I don't know. Not small, I'm that already. Sort of lonely.

Why? Why must you all be grown ups?! Stupid aging process.

I conassign gravity to Mordor, for having a large hand in breaking my beloved mug that has faithfully served me for nearly a quarter of my life. :(

And idiotic fastfood cashiers who don't place "Next Counter Please" signs on supposedly closed counters. I've been waiting in front of one, impatiently tapping my long nails for several minutes, then this female who's previously been "playing" with the microphone looked at me and asked, in this condescending "Hey kid, have you lost your mom?" voice: "Are you going to order something?"

Geesh. I had to do my best to keep from replying "Naw, I lost my mom. Can you help me find her?" :rolleyes:

Apparently my annoyance was too clearly noticeable in my expression that the male cashier who finally took my order screwed up somewhere in his cashier- litany. Hah.

I assign when days out go wrong.

So we wanted to go to Haworth but the car was encased in perma-frost. We decided to go to Hebden Bridge on the train instead. First of all, we got on the slow train to Leeds and almost died of tedium. Then we get to Hebden Bridge and decide to walk up to Heptonstall, abandoning this half way as it was like climbing Everest; on the way down we see that there were regular buses up there anyway, but have spent so long talking to a rather handsome ginger cat that it was now a little late. Then we go and have something to eat only to be entertained by a loud conversation at the next table going into intimate detail about everything her friends ever ate for every meal and the calorie content of said foods. I then enter a bookshop and hold a door open for an old lady who does nothing to thank me but pass wind loudly in my direction. We later attempt to get on a train which is jammed to the rafters with idiots and get tutted at as we get off this cattle truck and go instead for the quieter local train. :rolleyes:

Still, we did make friends with a nice cat, and I got some nice books. ;)

I assign Fea for liking both Dr Pepper and marmite - what is wrong with your taste buds! :eek:

Also, dozing off 4 minutes before the programme you need to tape starts so that you wake up 10 minutes in and leap off the sofa to press the record button, forgetting you're still wrapped in a blanket and so making an oh so hilarious face first dive onto the carpet.

I assign chemsitry class and spesifically the type of online problems we have to do. OWL just SUCKS! It makes it, by my estimates, at least 40 times harder... :mad:

Waking up five minutes after you should have left for school... I'm still not really sure whether I actually slept that long or whether I woke up at the normal time, thought, "Oh, it's Saturday," and rolled over and went back to sleep. It seems that I remember doing so, but I'm not sure. Yeah, I was tired. Now come on, he's one of my favorites. I assign Oddwen to Mordor for that. :p

I also assign Kath for assigning Fea for liking Dr. Pepper. There goes one of my favorite pops...

Walking and people that make walking a general pain: Trying to maneuver you way into a classroom when someone is walking on the LEFT side of the hall (their left, that is! :mad: ) and is coming right at you. People that enter a building using the LEFT door, which, as everyone knows, is meant strictly for exiting. People that walk into an elevator the instant the door opens, no matter if four people are disembarking. That kind of thing...

Long nails. Nilp scratched me (accidentally? hmmm...) with his the other day, and now I have a disturbing little wound at the back of my left hand.

I conassign to Mordor my complete inability to draw, and the occasional circumstances that slam it in my face.

And very easy exams, the kind that make you paranoid that somehow, somewhere, there's a catch. More so when the exam is Calculus. :eek:

Indulge me.
 

I've never done this for personal benefit, but this one is really called for.

I would like to give timezones a very uncomfy permanent spot in Mordor. The worst one anyone could find, if possible. Maybe they could scrub the toilets of trolls of Gorgoroth.

I have little inclination to ponder the effects of my deed, so I'll just leave now.

. . . the number of years I have left to work before I can retire . . .

Legends of Inuit words
 

Snow.

The dense, hard-packed ice cairn variety, that doesn't go crunch. The kind that has to be chistled off sidewalks and steps. The kind that won't melt away quickly. The kind that hangs around and hangs around and hangs around. The kind that gets black and grey and gritty with detritus.

;)

Snow.

The unexpected blizzard-conditions and icy roads variety, that doesn't let you drive safely. The kind that pulls your car off of the road and into a rather large ditch (by way of a small tree) somewhere around midnight in the middle of Vermont. The kind that gets into your practical and normally warm and comfy boots and soaks your pants up to your knees as you climb out of said car and try to make your way back to the road (which at this point is pretty far away from the car). The kind that freezes your feet and hands and nose as you wait for the "wrecker." Because every group of college girls that just put a car in a Vermont ditch around midnight wants to hear that a contraption called the "wrecker" is on its way to take care of the car.

Not having any snow. Trying to get used to a winter in a strange place, when nothing at all feels like home. So :P to all you people whining about the chance to throw snowballs at people.

Oh, and bickering over absolutely nothing with the person you love more than anything. So frustrating.

Domain registrars who don't update their records for three years and then penalise you both in time and money when you try to transfer your domains in a perfectly legitimate way. Oh, and clearly sell all your details to spam merchants because the only domains registered with them are the ones that get all the spam.
Also the new registrar who you thought might be better but they charge you 50p a minute to lie to you and know absolutely nothing.

HATEHATEHATE
(sorry, it's been a bad day hanging on the helplines)

Power outages. At work. It mucks up the whole morning. Can't get the orders the usual way, can't process them the usual way, exponentially increasing the risk of errors. A lot more work too. Heck, power outages belong in Mordor anyway, even if I didn't like 'em. It'd be interesting to see how Lord Roggie would cope. :p

Laziness.

Well, less laziness and more knowing that you're being lazy and just not having the energy to do anything about it, so that even when the teacher whose work you are supposed to be doing comes in, you don't at least pretend to be doing something constructive, but simply sit there reading.

Course, the ability to then think up some excuse of the top of the head to get out of this mess should be assigned to the Shire, except that it's such a bad example to set!

I conassign the following conversation to Mordor:

I was sitting in the lounge on a break to read the Downs when the other student on my team walked in. He looked over my shoulder and said, "The Barrow-Downs! Cool!"

At first I was delighted. Had I unexpectedly found another Downer in my class? Alas, it was not to be. He went on.

"Yeah. That's great. Isn't that the place where Dwarves live under the ground and have mines in this video game?" (I forget the game he named.)

I paused a moment, a little surpirsed, and explained the origins of the Downs, even pulling up the BD theme from the main page for more information. My classmate's eyes glazed over.

"You've got to be kidding me. The Barrow-Downs." He had a superior sniff in his voice. "It's something else they stole from the video game for that Lord of the Rings stuff."

At this point, my jaw is on the floor. The first thought I had was he must be joking. There was that parody news article about how Tolkien stole storylines from Dungeons and Dragonsm after all. So I sort of laughed and asked him if it was a joke. But he was serious. Completely serious. And went on to spend a good half hour trying to convince me that the LOTR is a "Hollywood sanitized-for-movie-audiences by Tolkien, less violent and less thematically complex" version of Heroes of Might and Magic.

I was in shock. "You do realize, of course, that Tolkien wrote the books a few decades before video games were invented."

"But this is a really old video game," he replied.

Which led to my pulling out publishing dates for the LOTR, draft dates for the Silmarillion and the attempting to find an approximate origin of this Heroes and Might and Magic business. The conversation ended with his capitulating that maybe, just maybe the LOTR came first. But he continued to state that the video game had the better story because "things aren't so black and white in the video game and they have better battles."

I groaned and buried myself in reading Werewolf.

You have apparently met a modern day orc; a most appropriate assignation to Mordor.

Heh. The thing I really don't get is that he's actually a nice, intelligent person when not commenting on Tolkien.

Oh well. I guess we'll keep future conversations limited to schizophrenia treatments or other related topics.

An associate of Doctor Hookbill's perchance? :D

Late-mid-life-crises.

Mothers who've already fled from the father of your siblings and your father and who now choose to break from their...partner (shudder) of almost ten years, leaving you feeling guilty because for the last decade you've schemed with your father, undermined and intellectually bullied the unfortunate man who's superseded him, and now realise that though weak and not very bright he was harmless, stable, fond of your mother and really pretty nice to you.

Unless it's him breaking from her, in which case I'll kill him. But it seems so unlikely.

Urgh.

*hugs* Who knows? Sounds terribly stressful on you though.



I'm assigning something far more prosaic. You know when the air in your bedroom is chilly, and you're all wrapped up so toasty and warm in some blanket, with every muscle relaxed, in absolute and all-too-rare comfort?

Yes, I'm assigning getting out of bed. I didn't want to...

Quite in relation to that, Jenny, I conassign sleepiness. It's so...so overpowering. I wonder how long it will take me to be completely overcome by it.

Escalators that don't work. Because seriously, what's the point? :rolleyes:

Standing in the express train (or whatever they call it) with a whole row of men - adults, mind - sitting right in front of you. I don't really mind standing, but that is just irksome. One would expect even a little bit of chivalry left in the world.

And at the risk of turning this into a blog post, I conassign those circumstances that make you think "If only...". Like this morning. If only I left for school at the time I initially intended to, I would have missed that whatever train that was detained at one station because some poor woman apparently had had enough of life and climbed to the topmost part of a bridge fronting the station. Then I wouldn't have had to wait for more than half an hour until the suicidal woman is rescued (how ironic), and I wouldn't have been late for my make-up class in Calculus. I'll hold from conassigning integrals to Mordor because they kept me company as I waited.

So, I'll just conassign hyperbolic functions and inverse hyperbolic functions. As if trigonometric functions their inverses aren't complicated enough.

Parents! I assign parents once more. More specifically, fathers who don't get it, have never gotten it, and I suspect never will get it.

People who don't want to be held to the (very reasonable!) standards of the organization, and can't take correction when their unnecessary mistakes are causing problems for others .... ought to be assigned to Mordor, somewhere deep and dark where their defensiveness can do somebody some good, maybe. :mad:

Snicker..... I was wondering if I'd ever find reason to do one of these rant posts. There you have it.

To be mugged in what was suposed to be the most safe part of a safe town.