I assign unexpected problems that turn out in phone companies that cause a third of a country to have to go without internet connections for the rest of the day. One of the unfortunate victims happened to be a young lady of seventeen who was wondering why she can't send a PM or open a thread, and as a result she wasn't able to reply to some PMs nor clear her PM box enough to let other PMs in. :rolleyes:

And on a less self-centered note, I assign utterly nonsensical catastrophes, such as stampedes, that claim as much as 72 lives - most if not all of whom were among the less fortunate - and occur right before a supposedly joyful event. :(

I assign to Mordor anyone who expects me to take an interest in football just because of the World Cup. I feel about football the way a vegan feels about steak. It could come from the finest cow, be cooked and served by Jean-Claude Novelli and they still wouldn't want to eat it. So watch it if you want, stick a hideous, tacky and probably inaccurate, plastic flag on your car if you really must, just don't expect me to give a toss...

I am hoping to find a part of the globe whare I will be safe but since someone felt oblige to inform me of scores last time even when I was flying over SE Asia ..I am not hopeful :(

I'll agree on sports obsessiveness, Mith, but the thing on my mind right now is prank phone calls.

While I can appreciate the classic runnng refrigerator gags, my friend and I got a call last night that scared us into going from barefoot and relaxed in my top floor room to boot-clad and jacketed, half way across campus running, in less than a minute. It was the biggest relief of my recent life to get the call back half way to our destination saying "What did she just say to you? No, I haven't even left yet."

Prank phone calls aren't always funny!

PS: I'm pretty sure I sound like a parent at the moment.

I assign pop ups windows that appear and then, whether you click on them or not, take you to another site and won't let you return. When this happens in the middle of a long PM, well :mad: So sorry Nilp but that's where your reply just went - oblivion!

Oh, and suddenly finding out you have a rather large piece of coursework due in on Friday only two days ago. Bah.

Also being unable to find a screencap because the one episode you want apparently doesn't exist in screencapping-land.

While I am in grouchy old bag mode..
 

I assign to Mordor:

"Baby on Board"/"Child on Board" labels on cars. So what? I wasn't actually planning to ram your car ...

Tights that despite costing £5 a pair, ladder as you put them on for the first time or decide to roll down at the worst possible moments.

The magnetic force that white shirts exert on coffee and new clothes exert on any indelible substance that happens to be in the vicinity.

Brand-new internet connections that like to flash in and out, just to see if you're still paying attention. Sorry Farael but that's why I disappeared last night.

Sorry for the double post...
 

..but I simply must add dumb people who put the heater and the thermostat on the upper floor of my apartment...

And workplaces where the heat isn't working right.



I just moved to the deep South! It's 50-60 degrees outside every day in FEBRUARY, for goodness' sake! Why, oh why, must I freeze???

That's all for now...signing off,

Icicle-Jen

The expression: "it's a guy-thing."

What is a guy thing? What does it mean? Isn't it just some weak excuse not to have to explain disturbing decisions and actions? Is it a secret conspiracy? Blah - it's just so unfair.

I assign Ignorant people to Mordor.
Dislike 'em.
=]

Well, that's a whole lot of people in Mordor. I assign this week. This week has simply been the worst week I've had in a long time, and it can go straight to Mordor.

Also, I assign people who post more on this thread than on the Shire thread. Pessimists.

Ah, but my Shire posts are longer and better written... that must count for something. :p

I assign professors that don't check their e-mail. If I'm on the 'Downs after 11:30, it means I got kicked out of class. Again.

I assign workplace pedants and all such people who have the tendency to micromanage and bring out their inner teacher. When you ask a colleague if they will check over something you have written to see that they understand it and they feel the need to stand over you suggesting where commas and capital letters ought to go. And you get one in every single place that you work, that's the worst thing about it. You cannot argue with them despite the fact that your blood is boiling and you just want to leap up and go "I didn't ask you to get a mental red pen out on my work! Clear off, you patronising %$*!". The only way you can fight back is with equal pedantry, witness my come back comment today after such an event: "Oh, I've reformatted all your papers as they were in size 11 font and size 12 is the standard." *insert evil smiley*

:D

I never thought I'd say this... but I take it back! Woohoo. :D

Oh right, I'm supposed to be sending things to Mordor huh? Err... having to sing in front of an enormous audience when you have a soar throat and don't know if you remember the lyrics? No, who am I kidding, it was wonderful! Err... being unjustly suspected in werewolf games? Nah, I'm over it.

I shall just have to settle for assigning leprechauns. They are scary. Garden gnomes, too. :eek:

I assign never getting mail that you want. Junk mail and bills aren't welcome!

lol
 

Well, when I think of mordor, I think of Orcs. Thousands of them.

And when I think of orcs, I think of my friend carl.

Not because he looks like one, but because if he was a character, he would be one. He's utterly insane, and funny to boot.

Also, I think of the space needle. I forgot exactly where it is (Toronto, I want to say?)
, but it always reminds me of the tower of Barad-dur, lol.

Headaches.

Waking up one morning to find that you are too weak to get up.

Whatever causes those two things.

The snow plow driver on my street. Now, when there's a foot of snow on the groud, the roads need to be cleared. This driver does that and I appreciate it, but he also has some issues. Like pushing snow back into the nice driveway that I've just been helping to clear while I'm standing right there watching with a shovel in my hand, even though we've made the requested extra cleared area for the plows to use. I shouldn't complain, I guess. A few years back we had someone who was a 'reckless' plow driver in addition to the driveway re-covering. Used to speed down the narrow, winding street that even I, Celuien, ATMed for speeding, won't go above the speed limit on, while plowing snow in the pre-dawn hours. He used to knock down all of the mailboxes around the curves in the street every time the road was cleared until there was an acutal township government meeting about reckless snow plow drivers. Seriously.

Oh well. At least the road and driveway are clear now. And the snow is pretty.

Uh-oh... that sounds a lot like me. :eek: *hides under table with red pen*

And I think I am not alone when I say that Valentine's Day is worthy of Mordorian exile.

Speaking of snow plow drivers, how about all the ones in my town? It's not like we live in some southern place where snow is unheard of and we have no idea what to do with it - or at least we should know what to do with it. :rolleyes: It's pretty sad when, after it's been snowing pretty heavily since 4:00 yesterday evening to find that there is still about a foot of snow on all the roads except the most main ones, and even those are pretty pathetically done. So maybe it's more of the town than the snow plow drivers themselves.

No, 'Cai, you aren't alone. I co-assign Valentine's Day and all related activities, such as expected smooches, giving gifts, spending loads of money you don't have on people you should be appreciating year round, the fact that it's loosely translated to Singles Awareness Day and even though I'm not single, it's that much worse because of it.

You know why it's that much worse? Because you're apparently not allowed to loathe the romance holiday as passionately as I do when you have A Boy. You know why? Because your single friends (all of whom apparently love the lame teddy bears, chocolates, and flowers I'm allergic to anyhow) get mad at you.

I assign every person who asked me what I bought my guy for Valentine's Day and told me I was a bad girlfriend for refusing to participate in the stupid tradition. It's not even a sweet cuddly holiday in the first place. Saint Valentine + really violent death does NOT = ooh, let's cuddle.

No, 'Cai, you aren't alone.

Nomination thirded. Valentine's Day is not a real holiday, just another reason to go out and spend money on silly greeting cards. And the Singles Awareness Day aspect of the whole irritating spectacle definitely makes it worse for me. :rolleyes:

I will fourth that since it always makes me so aware of being single and because it is so materialistic.

Hmmm..... it appears we have a prime candidate for inclusion in ATM2.

Oh! I'm posting! :eek: Quick, something to assign! Umm....... how about ...... high gas bills. Best I can come up with.

I want to see assigned...the Beach Boys. I hate their music. Hatehatehate. My brother likes them. He plays them. All. The. Time. I would also like to send people who play/sing music just because they know you hate it. There ya go, Sam, have fun. *punt*

Also, the other bands I can't stand, if I haven't mentioned them already.

Weezer
Green Day
Blink182
Creed/Scott Staph
Starland Vocal Band
The Rolling Stones
AC/DC
Dream Academy
English Tea Set
Foo Fighters
Fall Out Boy
Go Fish
Michael W. Smith
Mark Heard/Ideola

I hope y'all in Mordor have a nice concert.

So it does. I'll ponder a bit while I should be doing homework.

Speaking of that, I assign homework. College would be a lot more fun without it.

Oh, geesh. I knew I should have sent Valentine's Day earlier. But thanks, Enca. ;)

Anyone with me (and whoever I got this idea from :p) wearing black on February 14, and laughing at those wearing red? Should be fun.

Hmm...I also conassign losing the food you just bought to the force of gravity, and when you buy the same thing again, you get it in a lesser quality. Bleh.

You should all get yourselves to Asda, the UK supermarket selling the 8p Valentine's day card (and it's a pretty dull kind of greeting card, let me tell you) . I bet they sell out in Yorkshire... :D They also do £60 wedding dresses. Wonder if they'll start to make £9.99 wedding rings that make your finger turn green too? Love on the Dole, eh? ;)

Oddwen, I like some of those bands, so I'll have to go to Mordor too then..... But on a 'musical' theme I assign to Mordor the UK pap pop band Girls Aloud. I see one of them has been saying she will not attend the Brit awards as their group was not nominated but Madonna was. Oh dear. Sour grapes. In fact I send to Mordor any pop music which comes off the back of these horrible 'talent shows'. And I also send to Mordor shops which blast it out of their speakers making you not want to shop there any longer. Why can't shops just be quiet?

Oh, come now, children. Don't get petty about Valentine's day...

I will come right out and say it, this is the second perfect Valentine's day I have ever had. Or so I anticipate it being...but then, even this one may have a hard time beating last year's...Last year, my boyfriend proposed at a party on the 12th (which is what happened to be a Saturday) and sent a dozen red roses to my home on the actual day.

So sorry, guys, but I feel I must assign to Mordor those bitter people who take satisfaction in being bitter about the happiness of others on Valentine's Day.

Besides, keep the glass half-ful....a friend of mine takes herself and other single friends out to eat and to a movie every February 14th, no couples allowed, in celebration of National Singles Awareness Day.

I'll be petty if I want to be. :p The day was a lot cooler when it was still centered on Lupercalia... before the Church got involved... and then before capitalism took its toll. Just like Halloween. :rolleyes:

I assign cost differences in camera models. The film camera I want? About $200. The digital version of the same model? Closer to $1000. And I need both. I assign the fiasco it's going to be trying to convince my parents that I actually need them too... :rolleyes: I'm sure that'll go over well. "Hey M&D, I'm transferring colleges to one that's probably going to cost more and I'm doing it because I'm switching to a major that has a lot less likelihood of securing a career right after college, oh, and I need to spend a few grand on photography stuff." Assign, assign, assign.

Get thee to the Shire and let us Bridget Jones be bitter in peace then you smug married person :p I have just discovered that the Valentine I spent all weekend crafting in certainty that the recipient would find it amusing will in fact be completely insensitive and unwelcome ... so I happily assign the wretched festival and quite possibly the object of my affection to Mordor...but I thnk he would like it there :(

Blegh...that sounds awful. My suggestion? Go get him candy. Sweets for the sweet...always has the power to make him feel just a little better, if he's going through a tough time. (And your phrasing made it sound like he might be.)

And because it is important to ensure you single people remember I'm human...

I assign to Mordor all the retarded state governments that can't figure out how to put the license plate and the driver's license bureaus in the SAME BUILDING with the SAME HOURS. Hail, to thee, my homeland! May I soon enjoy the sight of thy beauteous hills! (Yes, it's a little weird to refer to Indiana quite so romantically, but deal with it. They're saner there. Marginally.)

I also assign to Mordor the company my husband works for. Their payroll changes mean we don't get a paycheck this week, and this week is when we're likely to need it more than a little.

While we're at it, I would also like to assign the hamburger I had for lunch. It was tasty, fresh, and inexpensive, but it dribbled ketchup down the front of my blouse. Some receptionist I am...I have a big red splotch on my chest.

Your Honour,

I would like to assign Valentine's Day to Mordor, being fully aware that it is already serving an extended sentence there. I should however, like to prosecute it under new charges, and see it serve a sentence for them seperately.

I would like assign Valentine's Day to Mordor as one of the foulest examples of the perversion of an originally Christian holy day to a foul example of modern crass consumerism, rife with stench of physical gratuity, modern concepts of romance, and all sorts of ethical thoughts concerning the relationship of a man and a woman that run completely counter to the religion that the man for whom the holdiday is named believed in. If the proponents of modern lust gratification and the infatuation equals love movement wish to celebrate a day with a disgusting display of pink, red, and shapes roughly resembling a woman's bosom, I would ask them not to pick a day named for a Christian, indeed a Catholic, martyr.

The prosecution rests, Your Honour.

And I would like to assign Valentine's Day to Mordor as one of the foulest examples of the perversion of an originally Roman festival.

Well, I guess I'm specifically assigning the use of a martyr's name for the purposes of promoting fornification and licentiousness to Mordor... but anything maligning the Romans Anciens can go to Mordor as well.

Valentine's Day theme
 

I assign to Mordor the weirdest (probably only in the U.S.-which explains alot) tradition of having elementary school children (ages 5-10ish) send their classmates little love cards. A time when most children and especially boys don't like-like each other nor should they.

I also nominate myself to Mordor for the ridiculous idea of handmaking about 90 of these little love cards with my 3 girls instead of going to Walmart and buying 3 packs of cheap cards and just sign their name! I am my own worst enemy!!

We always got little "friend" cards. And I think making them is really cool. ;-) Good luck with that.

I assign this sinking suspicion I have that I am living proof of the validity of Murphy's Law. Well, not the suspicion. The evidence.

Oh, and my bank. They say we have 300 dollars in our account but they also say we're 500 in the red and have stopped our debit cards.

*facedesk*

I assign my little sister and patting on the head. The combination is aggravating.

The sound of the dentists picks scraping and scraching against your enamel. :shutters:

Or even worse...the sound of a dentist's drill making that horrible "hvfweeeeee" noise, and the feel of it encountering resistance from your teeth and moving your entire head with it...*shudders*

Or when they give you the shot to numb your jaw, after the topical application. That horrid pushing feeling in that sensitive spot where your jaws hinge.

Yes, yes!! ARRR I hate that! Even worse is them cutting into your jaw to remove your wisdom teeth, when you are still semi conscious. All i could feel was really strong pressure. I knew what was coming, and was just conscious enough to think that I had to fight it, and just concious enough to know that there was nothing I could do. Semi concious panic is really bad.