Denny: What are you boys doing out here at this hour?

Far: Sheez! Nothing!

Bor: You're totally cramping our style, old man!

Denny: You've been hanging out with those Osgilliath boys again, haven't you?!

Denethor: "Whazzup homeboys? Chillin' in your crib or just hangin' on the down low? I'll have you know I ain't no fresh turkey I been cruisin' on the curb longer than you been crackin' on the lackin' and I know it's all about the blanky blanky."

Faramir and Boromir: :eek:

Denethor: Here you are! I just realized, it's no idea to fight any more. We should...

Faramir: Ehhh, daddy? Could you...

Denethor: Don't interupt you worthless excuse for a son! Why aren't you more like your brother? Now listen, if we abandon our posts now and create...

Boromir: *HRM* Father, I acually think you should...

Denethor: YOU TOO? Now, what could be more important than...

Boromir: But... (*CLONK* Denethor falls to the ground).....I just wanted to say that Gandalf stands behind with his staff, and he's not afraid too use it

OR

Boromir was disgusted to find his father roaming the citadel only wearing his nightgown. For the 7th time!

OR

D: Behold, the Dark Lord, King of all men and ruler of the world! I aaam the Greatest!

B: No your not! And the outfit is ridiculous!

F: Been looking in that Seeing Stone again, have you? Come here, I'll take care of you.

Faramir: "Oh Dad! Great timing! We were just going over a last minute switch-er-roo in the dance routine. Tell me what you think of doing, "bump, bump, slide, scuff, slide, scuff, twirl and bump; instead of the same ole bump, bump, slide, slide, twirl bit. Oh yeah, what about doing "jazzy hands" during the slide, scuff, slide, scuff part? Huh, Dad, huh??? Whadda think???

Boromir: "Yeah, so then I'm like, I'll be your Gondorian Knight In Shining Armour, and she's all like --uh, oops. Hey Dad."

Denethor: What are you boys doing now?

Boromir: [hastily hides controller behind back] Uh... nothing, Dad.

Denethor: Is that DDR?!?

Faramir: Um... no....

Denethor: [turns purple] You boys are playing Disco Disco Revolutions behind my back again?!? That's it--you're both grounded!

Boromir: "Me, trying to impersonate the Vice-President, don't be silly!"

Faramir: Look, father, you're not Gandalf, so the uncloaking just isn't funny!

Denethor: Is that why I'm being replaced?

Boromir: YES!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6..._indoorway.jpg

Orcs discover the wonders of soap!

OR

Frodo: I would like two Barad-dur burgers, two large fries, a coke and a happy meal for Sam.

Sam: Erm, Mr. Frodo that's not a Hornburger store it’s just an Orc... What do you mean, Happy Meal?

'Do you feel that, Sam?'
 

Frodo: "I think they're making fun of us."
Sam: "I've never seen anyone laugh 'til they threw up."

OR

Sam: "What do you mean our outfits are out of season?"

OR

Frodo(dull monotone): "Oh, look. It's Gandalf."
Sam(dull monotone): "Oh, and he's uncloaking."
Frodo(dull monotone): "I am sooo surprised."
Sam(dull monotone): "Yeah... I am in shock."

OR

Frodo's hair suddenly awakens and begins to groggily look around.

The captured 'spies' were punished by having to work as mannequins at Sauron's clothing shop.

LR alternate ending #1049
 

It was a bad day for Middle-earth when Frodo and Sam realised that the lands beyond Cirith Ungol was not actually Mordor . . .

Sam: Stupid MapQuest . . .

Frodo: The Holy Grail lies in the Castle Augggghh. What's that mean?

Sam: I think that means we're on the wrong set.

OR

Frodo just found out Sam switched his Strawberry Shampoo, from the Woodland Realm, with Pink Pepto Bismol.

Little do they know that they have just disguised themselves in the traditional garb of elderly Orc women.

Sam and Frodo wait for the announcement of the lottery.

Orc Overlord: And the winner of the tram ride up Mt. Doom is Skaishásh the Bloody-handed

Frodo: Dang! I was really hoping to win that tram ride.

Sam: I'll be your tram, Mister Frodo.

Frodo did not find his role as the Thanksgiving Turkey in his high school play amusing.

Sam: "You look mighty attentive today, Mr. Frodo."

Frodo: "Yes. I've set a bear trap over yonder and I'm watching to see if Gandalf gets caught in it."

Sam: "You're one sick son-of-a-gun, Mr. Frodo."

Frodo: "I sure am."

Frodo and Sam catch sight of themselves in a mirror.

After losing the One Ring in a gamble with Gorbag, Frodo had to admit Sam was right. He was a compulsive gambler who made stupid bets.

Sam: Alright Mister Kurum, tell us where we can find some orkish bri'ches or I'll get Frodo here to whine, complain, and angst at you.
Frodo: He isn't kidding, either.

OR

Frodo: "Do you hear the people sing? Singing the song of angry men! Its a music of a people who will not be slaves again!..."
Sam: ...Bless me, I think you need to take a rest, Mister Frodo. I don't hear anything.

OR

Unbeknownst to the rest of the Fellowship Sam and Frodo were keeping tally of just how many orcs Gimli and Legolas slaughters in Pelennor Fields.
Sam: Seven hundred fifty eight...
Frodo: ...Legolas is still at nineteen...

The moment when Sam and Frodo realized that apparently there wasn't such a thing as Dress-down Friday in Gondor.

Innocent villagers Frodo and Sam stand sullenly by and watch the remaining wolves do their taunting, over-the-top victory dance...a precursory to dinner.

-or-

Frodo was not impressed by the orc's "receding hairline" joke.

Frodo: I will go all the way! Nothing can stop me!

Sam: Yes, and I will go with you. Till the bitter end. We will reach the final and win the M-E football tournament! GO SHIRE!

OR

Sam: Please, just talk to me!

Frodo: .......

Sam: Come on! I can't help I got elven ears!

Frodo: If you don't tell me where you got those, you and I are finished.

Frodo and Sam were filled with concern as they realized that the fabled Orcian Census Ritual that involved counting tattooed buttocks was no fable. In fact, the revealing ritual was in full swing right before their unbelieving eyes and the census board was headed their way!

(They hadn't realized how close they were to the Crack of Doom!)

Ha! Never shall I read "DDR" the same way again! :D

Frodo: well that didn't work...

Sam: yep...what if we built a giant wooden badger!

Frodo and Sam listen as Marc Antony gives his funeral oration for Julius Caesar.

Sam: Two days ago, I saw a rig that can haul that tanker of yours. You want to get out of here, you talk to me...

Frodo: That's right, partner! You and me together, all the way!

With apologies to anyone born after 1970 and thus probably completely incapable of getting the joke...

The esteemed Fordim Hedgethistle (offcamera): "So, Sam, Frodo, what do you guys think? Is Eru God?"

Frodo and Sam: "Uh..."

To appease the current appetite for hobbit boy bands amoungst young orcs everywhere, low bugit magazines would commonly rent out Sauron's collection of hobbit prisoner cardboard cut-outs...

~ Ka

Sam: You're right Mr. Frodo, I am getting chaffed.

Lookie, it's Samwise Neill!
 

Sam: Don't move. He can't see us if we don't move.

Frodo: "And now that I see him I do pity him."
Sam: "Now, that's no way to talk about our Director!"

OR

Sam: "I didn't know Cirith Ungol got cable!"

OR

Arwen must be walking by.

The Hobbits just didn't get Orc comedian's jokes.

OR

Unfortunately, it seems that Frodo had put on the armour of the Mouth of Sauron's dentist and so had to do his duties.

Sam and Frodo didn't exactly appreciate the "You look fat" comment.

Frodo: He insulted my mother!

Sam: Hey, you take that back, only I can insult Mr. Frodo's mother.

Frodo and Sam soon discovered that the reality of being a soldier in Mordor's army was somewhat less attractive than the recruitment poster had promised.

Watching Orcs eat was never pleasant. Watching Orcs eat each other was surprisingly entertaining though.

OR

Frodo: I don’t care how much you pay me, I am not uncloaking! Who do you think I am? Gandalf?

As of 21st December.......
 

A solemn moment as Sam and Frodo prepare to exchange their vows in their themed Civil Partnership ceremony.....

Frodo: "Is there anything fluffier than a cloud?"

Sam: "If there is I don't wanna know about it."