Announcer: Your friends are out saving lives, kicking orc @$$, and destroying the One Ring. They invited you to join them.
*Scenes of the fellowship fighting orcs or doing anything that appears interesting appear on TV screen.*
*Suddenly, the camera turns to Pippin, who is sitting in chair, looking bored as ever*
Announcer: But instead, you are sitting in Rivendell with nothing to do because, not only did Gandalf call you, "Fool of a Took," but you also smoked pipeweed. Smoke pipeweed, and you lose a wizard's trust. Stay Drug-Free.

One gold Ring....

(Camera shot of gold Ring in a mutated hand)

Possesivness....

(Camera shot of Gollum sitting on a rock stroking a gold Ring)

And a split personality....

(Camera shot of Gollum stroking a gold Ring and wispering "Precious, yes, we likes it my precious")

Don't bother me, Im fondeling.

[Rip off of a Carl's Jr. commercial] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

the scene starts with frodo and sam walking up to the green dragon. a mean looking orc bouncer turns them away. the two hobbits rush to an abandoned hobbit hole and rope off th entrance.(gaffer is bouncer)All the hobbits are having a wild party and drinking hobbit ale. the orc wants in. the gaffer throws the orc really far. he then looks to
the camera and says "powerale, very real power."

ok that was lame and a mix of two commercials

[ October 06, 2002: Message edited by: mordor136 ]

I love your pipe-weed one, Brinniel, tee hee. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

A commercial for the extended edition DVD:

Scene: A man is asleep in his bed. He opens his eyes and looks up, and sees Lurtz standing over his bed glowering at him.

Cut to a little girl sitting at the breakfast table, holding an empty cereal box over her bowl. She glances across the table and sees Pippin sitting there with his bowl overflowing, munching away.

Cut to another man sleeping in his bed. The Fellowship enters, Boromir blows his horn in the man's face and the others dump a bucketful of Caradhras snow on him.

Announcer: "It's just like having Middle-earth come to your home!

(Sorry if this isn't amusing, it's a spoof on a hilarious commercial for NFL football here in the states, but I've only seen it once...)

Lembas... mmmmm mmmmm... so good so good

*camera overhead shot*

An exhausted Frodo and Sam are sleeping against a rock of the Emyn Muil.

*camera pans to overhanging cliff*

Gollum is sneaking down the cliff towards the unsuspecting hobbits.

*camera closeup of Frodo's chest*

Gollum's nasty flappy hand is sliding under Frodo's cloak.

*camera zooms to Frodo's face*

Frodo's eyes fly open, he grabs Gollum's wrist..."Don't lay a finger on my Butterfinger!"

New Special at Burger Lord! Get a medium Choke, medium Fries, and a Double Man-Flesh Burger for 1.99! Onion Rings of Power only 10 cents extra!

Hello everyone. I'm new around here. Please be gentle. Here's a few!!!

*~*~*~*~*

KFC Commercial
The one ring...It's finger licking good!!!

*~*~*~*~*

Dunhill Commercial
Style, quality, the one ring...

*~*~*~*~*

Can't think any more...I'll write some more soon. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Not much for this bys... but i'll give it a shot

*Set the scene: Arwen on horse on one side of the river and Ringwraiths are approaching the other side*

voice: introducing Elrond's own antiperspirant, with a power stripe
Arwen: let's say those ringwraiths are odour, and this river is the power stripe in NEW Elrond's own anti-perspirant

*Wraiths approach, going all out. Suddenly river rises, and wipes them out*

*Legolas and other pretty elves appear*

Legolas: I never go anywhere without looking pretty and smelling good! *holds up a stick of Elrond's own*

Voice: now in Mirkwood musk and Lothlorien Fresh!

well there's my lame and imbosilic attempt at humour. i'm goin to bed.

"Get Frodo's Ring (plastic replica) for only $39.99!!! It's sooo amazingly cheap!! and it's a 75% off price!!" [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

It's been a while since anybody posted on this thread, but Diamond referred to it...it's so funny! I'm going to try my hand at it.

~*~

[Frodo comes into Bag End. Bilbo is reading.]

Bilbo: Hullo, Frodo! How was your day?

[Frodo looks at the camera. Cut to scenes of Frodo being: chased by Nazgul, chased by Boromir, chased by orcs, chased by more Nazgul, chased by more orcs...
Frodo takes a bite of lembas. His eyes widen.]

Frodo: Fine. It was fine!

[Bilbo looks up as Frodo walks off, smiling.]

Announcer: Lembas. It might just be the lift you need.

~*~

Like that Pop-Tart spinoff commercial...blimey if I remember what the product was called...

~*~Orual~*~

Oh, er, ach! I know the exact commercial that your referring to, but blimey if I know the product either.

BTW, very funny! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Here's another one:

Gimli: "Mithril is forever."
Frodo: "And Mithril is a Hobbit's best friend."
Announcer: "Give the gift that tells that special someone you really care. Give them Mithril this Yule season."

Oh well, I guess I need some Lembas or something cause that was...lacking. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

"Absoloutely my dear Frodo!—"
"—Positively my dear Sam!"

Oh, what? Do you mean to tell me that none of you have seen those commercials for Hermax?

LMAO! Don't blame me for this one, a friend of mine thought of it. For those of you who have seen the Thermasilk commercials, you'll probably like this one. See if you can picture this in your head:

Gandalf is in front of the Balrog, which snaps its whip around Gandalf's hair and beard. His hair is then made soft and silky by the extreme heat and the Thermasilk formula. He then tosses his head to show it off.

OR

Gimli in any Herbal Essences commercial.

don't blame me, these weren't my ideas! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Okay, sorry about this:
ARWEN [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]o you remember when we first met?
ARAGORN: You said you would bind yourself to me forver.
ARWEN: And...
ARAGORN: **Sighs** If I got a hair wash
ARWEN:And to that I hold **ARWEN hands ARAGORN bottel of Loriel shampoo**
ARAGORN: You can't give this to me
ARWEN: It is mine to give to whom I will
Screen flashes to close up of the bottle
ARWEN: **In backround** Loriel. Because I'm worth it too...
[img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

OH! That was FUNNY! But change it to Lorien! LoL! But that really was funny....I loved the sigh! LoL!

~*~Orual~*~

OOOOooo These are good! Here is my try.

Sam at moria: Poor Bill, how can I let him go. Is there anything you want Bill?
Bill: *Gives cheesey grin rolling lips up* I want meow mix, I want weow mix, Ii Ii I want meow mix.

If you expect emediate ressults from your insurance company turn to progressive. Shows Frodo put on ring and dissapear. We may not be changing the world. Shows the ring flying to fire. But we are changing the way people buy car insurance. STUPID, I KNOW.

If you want someone who works for the people elect Sauroman. He wants peace unlike Sauron who has started two wars. Sauroman likes coller flare he is a genuine peacenick. Remember, vote green party.

Use the ring-- it will make you feel good when everyone is looking down on you. Sideaffects may include wraithnes, pursuent evil, death etc.

Sorry I'm sorta stealing an idea--
Gimli takes bight of lembas "Wheres the I can't believe it's not butter? I need that soft buttery taste!"

This is a radio one, it's been on all the time, it's time I took the mickey.

*Nazgul are busy decorating a christmas tree, the witch-king walks in*

Witch-king: The tree's looking very nice, but that's not a star on the top!
Nazgul: No it's a replica of the gold ring that sauron lost all those years ago, he says it's there to remind santa what he wants for Christmas.
witch-king: Ahhh, yes.
announcer: Make your loved ones know what you want. The one ring, something someone you love would love for Christmas.

TWO TOWERS SPOILERS: DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

REALLY.

(Ithilien. Faramir walks into the room, draws his sword, etc. Gives his speech. Finally, it is the moment.)

Faramir: The Ring will go to Gondor.

(Freeze-frame Faramir's face. Cut to a man in a suit. Faramir's face is now on a screen behind him; he stands at a podium.)

Man: Poor judgement: another side-effect of hunger.

(Shots of lembas from various angles.)

Man: Lembas, the waybread of the Elves. Lembas: don't let hunger happen to you!

~*~

A la the Snickers commercials.

~*~Orual~*~

[ December 23, 2002: Message edited by: Orual ]

Lol! I just thought of a new one. Gimli in one of those commercials for a men's cologne where the guy is riding a horse. And the girl is EOWYN! [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]