My dear
Ninlaith, I could not disagree more strongly with both the general gist of what you say, as well as quite a few specifics.
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But none of us have truly been in Frodos place.
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Frodo's place, in all of its specifity, of course, is unique to him; but aspects of his place are familiar to many of us, such as having to persevere in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds; or near certainty that no-one can help me through my particular difficulties, only to discover that help is to be had in the most unlikely places (such as Faramir). Those are just two examples.
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Man could never comtain that rage unless they were "pure of heart" which we all know is next to non-existent.
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Humans of all sorts constantly contain their rage every day; it's part of human nature. It's called dealing with life.
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Frodo was the only one who could stand being merciful because he was not human.
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I'm sorry, but I am quite confident that this is one instance in which Tolkien himself would have said something akin to "balderdash". Sub-human? What is that? Less than human? Other than? Tolkien states that Hobbits are
akin to humans. Frodo is drawn to be a character the reader can relate to.
Seeing Frodo exhibit pity has made it possible for me to be more quick to do the same. That's one of the most powerful positive by-products of reading stories.
You may be right in one thing, that a man could never have done what Frodo did. Whereas Hobbits are a kind of human, Hobbits have traits that give them advantages over the Big People: quiet feet and hearty constitutions being two of the most obvious. Their very diminutiveness, of course, makes it more likely that they would be overlooked. In those senses alone, though, I think, was Frodo able to do what a human could not.
The biggest problem I have with the general gist of what you say, is that you seem to remove Frodo so far from yourself that it becomes impossible for you to emulate Frodo, much less relate to him. I find that sad.