I realized that the whole "beautiful and terrible as the dawn" thing would have been bad for my complexion.

Ar-Pharazon: Did you really think you could pull off invading (ahem) Valinor?

AP: Yes, and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling Eru!

Sam, I am trying to start my own Mallorn Farm. Any words of advice?

Sam: Well, the real trick is to steal one of those fancy magic rings, and use them to make your trees special. It makes perfect sense.

Theoden, how did you fall under Wormtongue's influence. Look at the guy, he should have seemed suspicious the moment you laid eyes on him.

Alas me,my not-so-tecnologicaly-advanced people has not invented glasses yet-his image was quite vague...

Maedros,which is the true nature of your "friendship" with Fingolfin?

Reply
 

Maedros: None of your business, you despicable human paparazzo!:mad:
Why don't you go and ask Morgoth about his personal life?

Feanor, do you think that you've indulged your feminine side too much, with all this jewellery-making?

Nerdanel (seven sons later): Trust me, he hasn't.

Tar-Miriel, why exactly did you marry/agree to marry Pharazon?

Tar-Miriel: Well, I *thought* I was marrying my boyfriend, Cemotar, but it turned out to be Ar-Pharazon in disguise...

Boromir: Why, exactly, did you check to see if Narsil was still sharp? Seriously.

I thought it was a fake one and only by trying it I could be 100% sure!


Eowyn,how in hell did you turn from the mother of Rohan's feministic part to a housewife?

A: Like all feminists all I really wanted was to get laid properly.

Q: Arwen, you cradle-robber, why did you fall for Aragorn who's clearly below you?

A: There's something about a rugged, unwashed man that always gets me. It must be in my genes.

Q: Smaug, why did you really feel it was necessary to punish Laketown?

A: Bard told me my tail was short.

Q: Legolas, what's really going on between you and Gimi?

A. Nothing that isn't going on between Maedhros and Fingon.

Q. Bert, where did you learn to speak in cockney?

Bert: I caught it off that Jamie Oliver when 'e came to the Trollshaws and tried to teach us some recipe for fricassed 'obbits.

Q: Melkor, why all the anger?

Melkor: Manwe stole my girlfriend, Varda. He shall pay... :mad:

Maedhros: How gullible are you? Did you seriously think Morgoth would suddenly turn diplomat? How could the ambush possibly come as a surprise?

Maedhros: Well, I did receive a special cask of wine as welcome present from Morgoth... I guess I should have listened to Dad.

Thranduil, was it really necessary to imprison the Dwarves and accuse them of gatecrashing your party when it's all obvious they were haggard and hungry?

Thranduil:Golden rule;never let a haggard and hungry Dwarf burge in your stylish-VIP-coctail-party(unless he carries a bottle of Dorwinion 2008S.A. with him:D)


Eol,don't you know that sunbathing is trendier-and works better with the ladies?

Eol: Too much sunlight hurts my skin, and nowhere in the kingdom of Doriath do they sell SPV lotions.

Kili: If you had to choose between drinking apple juice or drowning in it, which would you take?

Drowning - much faster way to go. Oh, did you mean for enjoyment?

Gandalf: Did you really not see the whole "betrayal" thing coming with Saruman?

Gandalf: I thought those times he snuck away, he was just spending extra time with Radagast. I had no idea he was planning betraying me.

Ar Pharazon, what were you thinking when you attempted to attack Valinor?

Ar-Pharazon: I figured Manwe would give in if I blustered enough. It worked well enough with Sauron - I totally conquered him!

Daeron: Did you really think Luthien would love you if you ratted her out to Thingol?

Daeron:Who said I wanted her to love me?Her 500 sqft in Neldoreth,including one
brand-new mansion-only 1000 years old-are far more appealing!And guess what a grateful,happy "Daddy" could do to return the favour...


Smaug,are Dwarves considered to be a gourmet plate?

Smaug: Not really, but they're damn addictive little critters. Once I start gulping 'em down I can't stop, and always end up with a terrible bellyache.

Gandalf, why so tempted by the One Ring?

Gandalf: It's not just tempting, it's packed with vitamins and nutrients.

Q: So, Maglor... How is the, umm, endless wandering going?

Maglor: Really well, actually. I've seen loads of cool places...totally forgot why I started in the first place.

Hama: How did you feel when Grima threw you in jail?

A: I was really steamed at first, but I egged his place later and that made me feel pretty good.

Q: Galadriel, how do you feel about Arwen's choosing of Aragorn as a suitor?

Galadriel: It was so exciting! A secret love affair...it made me feel young again! Then they went public, and it wasn't so fun anymore.

Voronwe: Why did you decide to take Tuor back to Gondolin? Wasn't it forbidden?

Voronwe:Well,rules are made to be skipped ,so...Besides,he was hell awesome in his armour!

Celeborn,now that Galadriel left,do you plan to follow her?

Celeborn: In a matter of time, I'd like to follow her to the Blessed Land... after all, the other option is to fade here. But I also want to be my own man for a while, and perhaps check out Thranduil's excellent vintages.

Elrond, how do you feel about wrinkles?

Elrond: DON'T SAY THE 'W' WORD!!!

Thranduil: What did you think when Legolas didn't come home from his simple messenger job for almost a year?

Thranduil:Well,the first 200 days I hadn't been really concerned ;thought this stupid brat lost the way again-.then ,I learned he was to follow the Fellowship I got a little worried...for the other 8.


Bobour,have you ever thought to use your ...eh... impressive volume to promote your career?

Bombur: Eh? Sometime ago I considered applying as wine-taster for Thranduil. You all know how it didn't work out...

Luthien: How do you think Beren would react if he saw you really short-haired?

Luthien: He'll say it looks beautiful...or else.

Radagast: Why did you go to ME if you were just going to hole up with your pets?

Radagast: I'm sick of taking care of immortal birds. Plus Yavanna and Vana's minions often tease me for my looks--we're all Ainur, these bodies aren't what they seem! :mad:

Nerdanel: Who's your favorite of the seven?

Nerdanel:A mother can never tell .(Think what is going to happen if I do!Its in the @?-- DNA of this family!If by the fight of 2 brothers it ended the way it did,Imagine what might happen in my case!)


Aldarion:What is the TRUE reason you stayed away of home for so long?:smokin:

Aldarian: I am forbidden to tell you by a binding contract I made with my *lovely* wife. I don't tell secrets about her, she doesn't tell about my *incident*.

Amrod: Are you and Amras mistaken for each other often?

Amrod:So often,that even we question ourselves who we are sometimes...


Celebrian,was Elrond as good husband as father?

Celebrian: I often went to Lothlorien, even after my marriage. Thoughts?

Smeagol, why do you hate vegetables?

Smeagol:Granny stuffed my mouth with boiled cabbadge when I was young...How could I not hate them?

Tar-Meneldour,would you choose astrology as an alternative career if Silmarien had taken the throne?

Tar-Meneldur: Of course. The stars are so pretty...I might also have been a poet and written about the stars...pretty...

Eomer: Why didn't you just kill Grima and be done with it?

Eomer:Why would I do so?He is always a very good alternative for my dear sister
to get rid of-er sorry:D-be the love of her life,just in case Aragorn turns her down.


Sauron,why don;t you try some maskarah?It might work better with your social status...