For he knew rhythm and beat!
And punk rock was the love of his heart...






So totally confused. Not sure what's green, so I'm going with hair.

"I have but told only in part,
This tale of old" Quoth the minstrel

as he unrolled his thin scroll.
"The hobbit is not as he seems...

"As sure as the mountain gleams
"He held aloft, a sword of worth...

In fact he grows mannish in dreams,
In which Ents are quite short and race boats.

Curses! Foiled!

The hobbit has ordered "March Forth!"
And his army has turned tail and fled...

while in his imagination Bullroarer still the army led
he turned and noticed no one to follow

He wept when he saw that his dreams were hollow,
And crept away back to his hole.

But living there was a mole
who stole his money and his house.

He yelled, "You mole, you're a louse!"
And the mole replied, "One or the other, sir."

Then they all were gone in a blur
Taken by Balrogs of wings and no wings

And they talked long of various things,
as at least fifty percent of them flew...

The hobbit stared at the shadowy hue,
of those that remained then beckoned them hither

But when their flames caused his garden to wither,
He sprang to protect it with water!

But the Balrogs went to a slaughter
With armies of Mordor 'gainst Gondor

Then, however, hearing the battle roar,
Came the Eagles with a screech.

And after victory, went to the beach --
If there was any to find in Middle-earth

But they all danced with mirth
When they found it in the south

They opened cans with Smaug's open mouth
and played limbo with Gandalf's staff.

And at his speedo they did laugh,
till Gandalf barbecued those fowl

But then the chickens did growl
And took up arms 'gainst the grey

To celebrate Wargs set up a howl,
And sat down to Shish-ka-Winglord.

Curses! Foiled!

"We're on your side!" The wargs did say,
And the goblins were all armed with skewers!

'This party stinks-cause there are so few "hers"!
So they invited the dwarves in hopes of some she's

Yet they all shook at the knees
When only Dragons were available.

"No need to quake, we're really lovable"
as they asked for a dance

Doubtfully were they given one chance--
And they performed an aerial ballet.

and they danced towards their Lake-side Chalet,
Oh, how the floors that night were shaking

At the sound of the merry-making
That lasted long into the night.

Until the rest said, "Hey! What of OUR plight?
These big lizards are trampling our toes!"

So they turned and made them foes
Many came to kill the large lizards

But Saruman made some blizzards
and took the dragons to keep

Yet over a large cliff they did leap
Rather than suffer Saruman's house

[Q]Yet over a large cliff they did leap
Rather than suffer Saruman's house[/Q]
The hobbit and dwarves crept like a mouse
to antagonize poor Saruman

They then stole his prised Saucepan
And threw it in the Anduin river

He then collapsed, crying "Liver! I must eat more liver!"
"Without my Saucepan to cook it, I'm lost!"

He wept until winter's fell frost
Began to bite his tows and beard

Then Grima presented him LIVER (pan seared)
And he giggled and ate with a spork.

But everyone knows liver should be slivered by a fork,
And this his stomach announced - rumbling for all to hear

All the while, the Hobbits drank his beer.
The wizard, sick, was confined to bed