Oh come now, Lush! Grrralph's singing isn't that bad.

Estelyn and Kuruharan, I am sending you each a PM regarding some future events so that Grrralph is appropriately situated in my absence.

Singing and dancing servants of evil? More threatening? Hmm. Maybe Môgul should take note.

Er, I'm assuming you don't need him to come to the stable. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Saucepan Man, you Scallywag. *whir, creak, hum* That's the sound of my computer trying to load the page with the Glossary on it. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Um, is it too early to nominate Saucy for one of next year's Downie Awards...? Something along the line of "The Goof with the Numerously Goofiest Goofisms"? [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Who, I wonder, could this mysterious Kafka be, who can turn characters into cockroaches by invocation? I wonder if that spell is much of a trial to cast.

Wow, so many new posts in the last 24 hours - thanks, all! Diamond, Pimpi's new clumsiness is so funny - that's such a visual effect, like Laurel and Hardy! Her brush-off to Vogonwë is going to be a new favorite of mine: “Oh, go write a poem about it”! B-W, what a threat to the Wight City - Bad Breath! And am I the only one so slow that I finally got the "Porcelain Throne" reference when you mentioned closing the lid? Saucepan, the continuation of the mytho-illogical background is fantastic - you wove those threads of our past RPG adventure into it so wonderfully. And then the names - "Avatar, the Lord of the .Gifs" absolutely cracks me up!!

I've posted at the stable, so the group is now assembled to begin the adventure. Kuruharan will post the grand entrance of the Dwarf and Dragon next, unless someone wants to insert the purchase or purloining of a horse before we get started. (That could be told in retrospective, I suppose, so it's not absolutely necessary.)

I stuck the introduction of Leninia just now, since I am really not sure when I will be able to get to the computer over the next three to four days. I'll move it if necessary. Congratulate me, I am no longer an RPG Virgin (hopefully the fact that this virginity was lost very recently will allow you to forgive my inept performance, I promise to become more...skilled, as the time advances).

An irate young half-halfling would like to poke her head into the discussion and remind you that though she has a healthy appetite, she is not fat. Not even big boned. Which made the physics of that growth spurt rather tricky...

As for myself, besides the visual of thin vs. fat, I'm not well acquainted with Laurel and Hardy's antics. So I'll have to take your word on that. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

And Lush, or Mommie Dearest, or what have you: Whatever could Lenina possibly have in mind for old Earnur? *blink blink*

Okay, since Estelyn told me I could, all Udun has been unleashed.

As Mithadan asked, I saved a spot for him after my post. However, I'm not totally sure that he knew what I was planning. We probably should try not to abandon poor Grrralph there. (Although, who knows. He seems like the sort who enjoys wreckage.)

[ July 21, 2003: Message edited by: Kuruharan ]

Kuru's epic calamity of a post gave me an idea... So I nabbed a Save just in case I want to put it after Mith's post. I'll have to see where and what the Itship are doing at that point. I'll take it down if I can't make it fit.

Did you really think that after spending all that time with weak votive candles Voggy could really be totally apathetic about the fire? [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[ July 21, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

...and even more great posts!! Welcome to the story, Lush – what a kewl introduction to our resident rock star! You’ll have all of our readers standing in line for backstage passes to that studio! (I can just hear the guide: “Welcome to the Marrow-Bones, and enjoy being dead!” [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] ) How exciting to meet another piece of the Ent-That-Was-Broken as well – this one not only talking, but producing music too.

Kuruharan, you have posted true to your reputation for the unexpected! You set that scene up wonderfully, wrote brilliant dialogues for the whole crew, and had me doubled over laughing with your musical fire references (Great balls of…, Burning ring of… ) and the scenes of monumental incompetence.

Now we have three saves to look forward to! The Itship will have to find its way back together outside the burning city, heading westwards. Other than that, no particular instructions for the next posts.

Stop the presses!!! ... Er, I mean, I filled in my Save.

Delightful little poem, Squat. In true Brownbarkian fashion. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Two saves filled in and three brand-new posts – wow! After reading all of the musical inspiration coming from the fire, I had a mental image of someone making music while a city burns – unrealistic, I know, and unprecedented, but I wrote a brief post about it anyway.

Diamond, the inspirational fire has encouraged Vogonwë not only to write poetry, but also to sing it? – horrors!! We’d better get out of there for sure! What original names your horses have, completely unfamiliar, [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img] and I do love your name for the common language – Westosterone!!

Thena, what a great way to get Gatesy introduced to the group! My favorite lines are the ones about the “fire-wall” and the beau/bow pun!! To say nothing of the wondrous Fad-o-Slacks, Lord of Horses and Fashion Pantaloons!

Squatter, poor Etceteron! Your description of his hangover is quite vivid, almost so much as to awake the suspicion that your knowledge of that state is not merely theoretical, unthinkable though that be! The poetry for Vogonwë is very true to character…

Birdland, welcome to the thread! How nice to have you posting again, though it is unusual to have you writing human characters! Well, someone needed to speak for the victims, the huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the nice normal people like swimsuit models and game show hostesses.

B-W, what great dental descriptions of the destroyed city!! The comparison to a hockey veteran is wonderfully evocative, and I liked the “bridge” pun! The Steward’s new motto is… um… interesting! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Fantastic posts, all - I look forward to the next ones!

After all that posting activity the past week, I guess a bit of "burn-out syndrome" [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] is to be expected. Real life demands will prevent me from writing a new post before early next week. Should any of you want to post now, just get the group or parts of it reassembled on the road westwards, with horses and whatever equipment is needed. For the approximate route, please check a map or just backtrack the Fellowship's steps in LotR.

Kuruharan, I am in awe of the wreckage wrought by the dwarf and his dragon (with the assistance of our dear Earnur). Thank you for saving the space I requested. However, the...action I had planned no longer fit after the momentous events of your post, so I have deleted the "save" and added a more humble post to the end of the thread.

Great posts everyone! Welcome Lush!

[img]smilies/redface.gif[/img]

I was sort of afraid that it would be that way.

**Disclaimer to Latest Post**

Any backward similarity to a recent movie interpretation of a certain book of our acquaintance is purely intentional.

I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about, Kuruharan. I'm still laughing about it though.

Kuruharan, please expunge the reference to Gateskeeper from your latest post -- he's not yet joined up with the rest. Thanks!

Kuruhuran - I tried to post an earlier entry based on the sacred word Doh!, but somebody closed the the site down for repairs just as I started to post. (hmmmph!)

Any chance I could post my entry, then you delete yours and move it below mine, for the sake of what little continuity we manage to achieve here?

I'll tag your post onto the end of mine, Lady Bird (Lady Bird?).

Thankee, Mith! Now, if we could just do something about all those unsightly billboards lining the roads to Minus Teeth...

(Note - anyone who is under the age of 40, and not of American lineage, will read the above sentence and say "Huh?")

Hehe, things have certainly been hotting up in Muddled-Mirth. Thanks to which the (Ultra-Brite) Wight City is mine, all mine ... or soon will be.

The Gorilla-ship ... er Gallow-ship will shortly have some unwanted guests hot on their trail, one of whom has taken quite a shine to Pimpi. But since I am off on my hols for 2 weeks this weekend, they will have to remain unseen for now.

Have fun in the meantime. And please feel free to wantonly slaughter any number of other minions of Mogûl. There are always more where they came from ... [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

Thenamir: [img]smilies/redface.gif[/img] I wasn't sure so I dragged him along. Fixed.


Birdland: [img]smilies/redface.gif[/img] (again) I'm glad that we got that all straightened out!

No fault of yours, Kuru. I should have posted sooner. There was just something about that "D'oh!" that demanded a response.

Oh, BTW, Earnur. Thought you might want to know that somebody will want to kill you later. Carry on.

"Doh" is a word of great power indeed. It was uttered by Mogûl when he realised how to escape from the Void. [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]

What do you have in mind, Birdie? [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Thenamir, I've sent you an e-mail.

Saucepan Man, you have a PM from me also.

Thanks, all of you, for this week's great new posts! I enjoyed reading all of them. I have now filled in my save - it's pretty long, but the lesson in "How to be a Heroine 101 - Introduction to Shieldmaidening" was rather comprehensive. Now, for some quick comments on other posts:

Mith, Grrralph has now joined the Itship - his eloquence and astuteness will certainly be of great help! The ancient blessing you wrote of is so inspiring... [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Birdie, you have introduced some interesting - what are they?? [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] We need an illustrator to draw pictures according to your descriptive...umm, descriptions.

Kuru, your post takes us down the road, as far as the woods of the Puking-Men and the geographically uncertain location of the Hidden Hideaway. Wouldn't those scenes look good as a movie?! [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img] Too improbable, of course.

Thena, fie upon you for such vile language! "Mother-boards" indeed! [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img] The Southern song is quite appropriate, and I like the "Dungeons of Default". How nice to have someone along who can help the Itship with their shoes...

Saucy, your descriptive passage about the wind sounds vaguely familiar - perhaps some movie I've seen?? [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img] Then the scary image of the flaming nostril! Enjoyed the song and the new character, Soregum - we'll look forward to seeing more of him after your holidays. Another vaguely familiar description - Mogûl's pet.

BW, you should collect commission fees from Nabisco - the beginning of your post made me hungry for cookies. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] I love the name of the father of horses, Fellofftheroof, and the Proctor's new motto!

...and yet another post from Mith - you have definitely made up for your absence! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] Such fun reading - Grrralph endearing himself to the Dwarf by "playing" with the Dragon!

Almost everyone posted this week; Diamond is having technical problems, so it may take some days before she can rejoin us, unfortunately. [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]

As some of you already know, my business commitments this week have been pretty heavy, and I have to work tomorrow. Rest assured that Etceteron will make another misguided foray this weekend, Valar willing.

That last avalanche of posts has probably done my mind irreparable harm, but what fun it was reading them! Excellent work as usual, you reprehensible reprobates.

Ditto that. Reading all those posts in one sitting has done something to my mind which I'd rather not think about! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] You folks actually make me guffaw out loud for prolonged stretches of time, which is rare. I laugh inwardly all the time, but truly! This stuff calls for guffaws.

As you can tell, I'm back from my technical difficulties. A dead monitor. But I now have a new one, and I really must take a moment to commend BW on the BD layout, which I never fully saw with my old, dark, on the blink-brink monitor. Wow. All the pretty colors and nuances of the shades of said colors look a lot lot better than I thought they did. [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

Anyway, back on topic: I'll try to update the Glossary soon. Right now I'm busy catching up with other stuff, and like I said, reading your posts does something to the brain. I almost feel like an adolescent gecko.

Chrysophylax will be delighted to discover that he has fan-lizards. It will help to make up for his stinging humiliation at the hands of Grrralph. He will no doubt be happy to give his public souvenirs of himself, for a reasonable price.

What a great post, Birdie, in the best tradition of your famous critter cameos! And in the best tradition of teenage fans too, of course…

Since we have passed the Forest of the Puking-Men, our next stop will be Edoras. The only thing I have found on the way there are the beacon hills, guiding lights so to say, if anyone wants to use them for something. Otherwise, conversations while riding or adventures while camping would be suitable to pass the time on the trip. Whoever wants to get us into Rohan is welcome to do so!

Oh guys. And oh dolls.

T.S.M., a.k.a. the Saucepan Man: your latest post reminded me a bit of Jack Nicholson in "As Good As it Gets," though naturally, your are much better-looking than Jack ever was or will be.

I am so glad this one is moving a wee bit slower than the original Entish Bow, though. Leaves me time to think and enjoy.

If I survive this month, I want you all to know that Leninia can't wait to have you all in her lair.

Wonderful posts, folks! It’s always a pleasure to see how cues are picked up and developed – you are a great team of writers.

Kuru, your post was so enjoyable, almost audible with all of the mysterious noises! Kuru is a perfect manager for Chryssi – and couldn’t we take that as an example for doing some merchandising for the benefit of our reader fans?? “Buy your Chryssi and Entish Bow articles” – what’s that you say, BW? We only have T-shirts like Orogarn’s so far? Oh well, that’s a start…

Mith, thanks for the essential information on Grrralph – just what many readers wanted to know, I’m sure! You’re doing it again – taking a character who’d normally be a villain, giving him a human touch and making him likeable!

Diamond, the fight scenes cracked me up! Starting as a dog fight, turning into a fist/martial arts/sword fight and finally a food fight! As always, your post is excellent writing for all of the characters and pure fun to read.

I’m putting up a save to answer Diamond’s last sentence – I recognize a cue when I see one! Should anyone want to post at the scene of the cri – um, fight, please go ahead. I can move the save if necessary.

I have finally filled in my save with a Merisuwyniel post. It is followed by Squatter’s post – nice to spend a little time getting to see things from the horse’s point of view! It is … enlightening to hear new bits of the history of Muddled-Mirth, and the poetry is … interesting as well! As to the threat that awaits the -ship – who shall relate that tale? (Ah, Thena shall – we look forward to reading that post when it’s finished!)

Birdie, what a creepy glimpse into the future, in a scary location – yet another danger that awaits our little company…

By the way, I shall be absent from Sunday till Wednesday; should anyone have any questions about the further plot, please try to reach me before or after that. As I already said, Rohan is the next stop.

I am very sorry for not filling in my troll post. WOrk has been hectic the last few days. I hope to have time to write and post in the next 24 hours. Thanks for your patience!

Well, guys, I know you're all waiting on me to write the next post (well, some people are on vacation), but I've been beset with overtime work and writer's block like I've never had before. Usually these posts almost write themselves, but I've had to struggle with this one, and I don't really know why.

I wanted to cary the story a bit further into the troll episode, but rather than keep the story held up any longer, I'm posting what I have. In my opinion, it's pretty lame, lacking in humor and in good style. If it needs to be revised or even tossed, let me know.

In the meantime, let the floodgates be broken, and carry it forward!

I put a save up because it seemed that a contest of truly awful language (well, to an extent) was in order. If this conflicts with other ideas, tell me...

A thought:

Since we have carried this parody into the realm of poking fun at chat, perhaps (either now or at some time in the future) the friends and relatives of the thankfully-departed troll can gang up on the It-ship for a "flood attack" of revenge. Anyone who wants to insert this idea (or ignore it) is free to do so.

And by the way, GREAT post, Diamond18. You took my lame lead and ran with it spectacularly.

Thena, your post was good - apparently, you suffer from TPS (Tolkien Perfectionist Syndrome), a common ailment among LotR fans. I'm very glad that you picked up that cue and went with it, since I had no good idea - and you know how to write a troll!

Diamond, that was a great continuation of the story! Your writing is wonderful, and Vogonwë's poetry is exceptional, as always. For some reason, the usage of redneck dialogue by the troll didn't surprise me... [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Does anyone want to carry on with the troll storyline, as Thena suggested, or shall we move on from here?

What do you mean, do away with the Troll storyline? When have we ever said no to a subplot?