Thumbs up from the Dead Hand
 

Sauron: I demand a new picture!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...aptions/06.jpg

Denethor: Speak one more time, Faramir, and I'll clobber you to death with this stick. Is that clear? ... ... I said, 'is that clear?' :mad:

Faramir: ... yes?

Denethor: RIGHT! I warned you!

OR the obligatory;

Denethor: Gandalf, your uncloaking does not please me!

"Wise man...mumble mumble...eye of a needle...bigger I say! Make the needle bigger!"

Denethor: I hate this, looking all girlish in this hair...I'll get PJ for this.

Or

Denethor: How come Gandalf got a long, nice staff while I only have this little twig?

Or

Denethor (thinking): Nobody will ever beat me in a staring contest. I've been training on that statue for years now.

Or

Gandalf: Denny, have I ever told you about the resemblence between you and a rather jolly fellow I know by the name Gollum?
Denethor: :mad:

Or Denethor the Werewolf: Must not...must not kill...feeling urge for blood getting stronger...must keep hiding...

Their crude results notwithstanding, Denethor jealously guarded his curling tongs.

After a long 'embassy' trip to Mordor, cleverly disguised as a vacation, Denethor discovers that the state of his living has changed on him...

" Oh, it is so nice to be bac... Oh dear Eru! What is that pattern on the walls!? Faramir! I swear, if you are going to try so hard at interior design, it would be better to start with the interior of your head first! No wonder everyone thinks i'm mad..."

~ Aesthete

Denethor is far from impressed with Faramir and Pippin's performance of West Side Story
Denthor: My eyes burn!

or

Denethor witnesses what will happen when milk is allowed to sit for more than two weeks.

Denethor was determined to get the part of the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz


or funnily enough, Denethor's pet was a grumpy looking Pekingese

Denethor desperately needed the loo... but he didn't want to admit his hands were superglued to his staff...

Denethor: For the last time, I am not the King of the Dead!

OR

Gandalf's suggestion that Balrogs have wings was not well received by Denethor.

Maestro Denethor, master conducter was always rather sensitive when told that his baton was slightly oversized.

Denethor: Is there no one who will tell me how many angels can dance on the head of this pin?

Denethor was not happy that his other autographed custom Travis Barker special edition hand-carved Vic Firth 12C drumstick had been used for a toilet plunger.

Or...

"Nobody uses this turkey baster except me. NOBODY!"

Or...

Nobody was very surprised when Denethor wrapped gold leaf on the end of a stick and proclaimed himself his son's "fairy godmother".

Denethor: I will not be relegated to the Old Man in the Tower! I know what happened to the Old Man and the Sea, and the Old Woman who lived in a Shoe! You...will...no...*falls asleep*

Gandalf: See, Faramir. All you have to do is get him to wear himself out, and he'll fall right to sleep.

Denethor: Why am I in here? I'm NOT supposed to be here!!! Where am I!?!? OHHH!!!! I HATE MapQuest!!!! :mad:

or

Denethor: I DID not order these life sized Merry and Pippin salt and pepper shakers!!! I ordered the life sized version of my son as a juice jug!!! Does that look like my son to you!?!?

Gandalf: I'm sorry my liege, but your son is dead.

Denethor: No he's not!! He's just pretending to be dead so he can surprise me by being the juice jug!! Sheez, and you call yourself a Maia. :rolleyes:

Denethor: Hit me with your staff again, Gandalf. I dare you! I double dare you!

Denethor simply could not face the prospect of more visits to the dentist or yet more hot oil treatments.

Denethor: Ok, students, I'm taking the place of Gandalf as your teacher today...and don't call me a substitute teacher! I'm an instructor from the County...got that!

P.S., anyone wondering wth is Boromir talking about? Just a highschool experience where a substitute teacher refused to be called a sub. :p

Much subsequent grief could have been avoided had people taken notice when Denethor took a giant matchstick as his sceptre.

This is my first post on this thread.
 

Denethor, Steward and president of the don't kill the messenger association. Gets horribel news and gets an sudden urge too kill the nearest person.

(mabey not that funny, but hey I got to start someplace)

Denethor: "No, Peregrin Took, this is not an Oliphaunt toothpick!"

Not even the temptation of his very own burnin' battleship bath-set could make Denethor co-operate at bath time.

Denethor grabbed the little slicker's (Pippen) cue stick as soon as he realized he was being hustled.

Denethor decided to attempt his own version of the wrist-braking-tear-a-phonebook-in-half trick by tearing a small paper scroll in half:

"Nnnnerrgg! Almost...got...it...eeerrggg!!"

After a vigorous clean of the whole palace Denethor sits down only to notice a speck on the highest window.

OR

Denethor: If you say that again, Gandalf, it will be my turn to get angry. Then you would see Denethor the steward un-

Gandalf: Don't even think about it! That's my gimmick! Get your own!

Denny-boy-Why am I always "it" I hate playing Hide and Seek with you guys it so unfair.

Gandalf-We're unfair? you cheat always using the palantir to find us

D-thats not cheating its strategic!

G-Cheater Cheater poopy-eater!

:p

Denethor: For the third time, I am NOT playing with a plastic lightsaber!

Denetor's mom(offscreen): Have you thought about what you've done?

D:yes mom

DM:Then you can come out of time out now

Denethor: I will NOT bow to this Ranger from the North!!!

Gandalf: But he can protect you!!

Denethor: I don't care if Minas Tirith is filled with Werewolves!!! I will not be protected by a measely peasent who claims to be King!!!

<--- There is a rat in this pipe!
 

Someone stole Denethor's Teddy Bear! :eek:

OR

Denethor: I am steward of this realm, and when I say 'dance' I want you to dance!

Gandalf: I'm leaving.

Denethor was not amused by the whoopie cushion Pippin had placed on his chair.

Denethor: "They ruined all my dreams of glory! Damn them! Throwing me out of the majorette troupe just because I refused to wear their stupid pink mini-skirts!"



OR



Denethor is fuming when he finds he has only been placed third in the finals of the All-Gondor Air Drumming Championship.

Denethor: Gandalf! You put jelly on my seat!

Gandalf: *whistles*

OR

Denethor: What is that terrible, awful, truly disgusting smell? Oh, hello Aragorn.

Ken Dodd was furious when the Diddy Men destroyed his tickling stick. It would be double shifts at the jam butty mine for weeks.

The rollercoaster is about to start, but Denethor is in no mood to have fun.

Denethor discovered a strange and terrible new sensation: A charley-horse in the rear.


(edit: charley-horse: a severe muscular cramp, especially in the upper leg) if you've never had one before I envy you...

Pippin's candid photo of Denethor:
 

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d7...e/rotk1586.jpg

What he was writing in his diary:

Dear diary, Mithrandir visited me today and he was unbelievably annoying, a hypocritical whiner, self-righteous, arrogant to the max and incredibly disrespectful of the humble office of Steward, supercilious, subtiley advancing the perfidious plots of that smiling villain Aragorn, (Do I need to remind you of the way he slithered into my father's heart?), a liar, proverb peddler, cheesy moral-monger, and as a new form of villainy he brought a Halfling to spy on me! Peregrin Took has been peregrinating long enough with that devil who now calls himself Gandalf the White. I have to leave now because that Halfing is about.

Denethor's Delusions
 

Denethor: By the power of Gondor I HAVE THE POWER.

*nothing happens*

Denethor: Aww Crap! I swear this worked before.

Denethor: If you are indeed wise, Mithrandir, then let a gallon of oil fall from the sky onto my head. *splosh*... Very funny.

OR

Denethor: This eagle is really trying my patience! I thought it was supposed to come back to my arm!

Denethor: The answers always no!

or,

Denethor gives everyone an example of what a burning effigy is.

Denethor tries telepathy: chiiicken. I want chiiicken. Bring me it noooow....

Or

Denethor's new party trick with white eyes went totally unnoticed as Gandalf brought fireworks...

Or

Denethor wasn't at all happy with his role as he were soon going to die. In a desperate attempt to stay in the movies he tried to show PJ his talents in playing undead: Look! What if I come back as a steward-ghoul? Or zombie? I can look really horrifying! No? All this practice wasted...