Frodo, Sam, and Gollum did not find the best hiding place in Hide and Seek.

Gollum: Ack! How are we going to get past all these orcses?

Sam: Good news.

Gollum: What?

Sam: I just saved a bunch of money on my care insurance by switching to Geico!

Frodo: (rolls eyes)

Gollum: I've found it! I've found my precious!

Frodo: What do you mean?

Gollum: My precious master, I've founds it. After many years of searching I've finally found my precious

Frodo: Do you mean the ring? Because you've known that's with me for quite some time now.

Gollum: No my real precious, my wig that the orces stole from me, do you see that orc, he has my precious wig, I wants it I shall get it.

Sam: *snicker* *mutters* wig!

Frodo had no time for Aunt Polly's chores, as he wanted to play with Huck....I mean, Gollum, in Mount Doom.

or

Sam always cried when he realized he wasn't part of Gollum's popular clique.

or

Once again, Sam loses the eye bulging contest!

More fun than guessing riddles
 

Gollem hoped he would win the bet with Frodo and Sam on who would get drenched in the old bucket over the doorway prank.

Gollum sees and old rival.

Frodo: Bilbo?

OR

None of them believed their eyes when they saw how Sauron’s kitchens were run by... Rhinos?

Hobbits and Hoodies.

You daren't park your car anywhere near Minas Morgul after the Witch King left.

OR

With the help of that handy rock, Gollum is about to show Frodo and Sam how he got his ASBO.

They're behind you!
 

To which Gothmog insisted: "Oh no they're not!"

or

Sam told Gollum that they wouldn't be welcome at Sauron's slumber party, but did he listen? No...

Gollum: Why you nassty filthy little Hobbit!! How dare you!!!

Frodo: And how does that make you feel?

Gollum: "I told you the Black Gate was a nassty place."

The three wolves watched the daily unsuccesful lynching with varying amounts of subtlety.

Well, that does put a damper on our relationship...
 

Frodo: He's got very good arms.
Gollum: He didn't fall? Inconceivable!
Sam: You keep using that word...I do not think it means what you think it means. ...my God...he's climbing...
Gollum: Whoever he is, he's obviously seen us with the Ring and must therefore die. Frodo, carry the ring. We'll head straight for the base of Mount Doom. Sam, catch up when he's dead. If he falls, fine, if not...shake a light at him.



Edit: 42nd post. Sweet.

Sam was on the verge of tears as he got to the summit of the Stairs of Cirith Ungol and realised that the Shelob's Lair ale house at the top was closed for refurbishment.

Everyone hide, Hookbill is coming......
Frodo: Now remember, Gollum, wait till he's inside to jump and shout "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GOOMBA!"

Gollum: Agggh! They stole my chipses!

Sam: I knew it! You liked them!

Gollum: Shut-up stupid hobbit, not it's business.

Look behind Sam. Since when were there flowers in Mordor?

A long one.
 

Frodo: OK, here's the plan: You rush to the gate shouting, 'For Frodo!' Then, while the guards are distracted, I sneak up past them and go on into Mt. Doom.

Sam: Hey, how come we have to be the decoy?

Frodo: Cos I wrote this book.

Sam: But get to write in this book, too!

Frodo: No, you get to write the part of the book after I leave.

Gollum: What about me? Do I get to write in this book, too?

Frodo: No. Actually, you died in the book.

Gollum: I did? That's very nice. I'm off this quest now.

Huh its the race to the finish. its the wold famous survivor game.
Gollum: I reached first u'll suck.
Frodo: Not if i can help it.
Sam: I am gonna slip really soon.
Frodo: We don't care its the race to the finish
Gollum: I WIN.
Sam: BYE BYE
[sam falls off]
Sad ending i know

It was Freshers' Week at the University of Mordor and after a drunken night down the Student Union, Gollum and his two new pals from the Hobbit Soc are about to steal some traffic cones from the roadworks at Isenmouthe.

I won't give up on this one.
 

Frodo: Are you sure this is the line to Hogwarts?

Everyone had different reactions to Minas Morgul being turned into a giant bouncy castle.

OR

The Witch King's new job as a children’s party clown didn't go down so well this time.

'When Faramir...' gags
 

When Faramir sang Nursery Rhymes whilst brushing his hair, it really freaked out his guests.

or

When Faramir couldn't figure out which spoon to eat his soup with, it really embarrassed his guests.

or

When Faramir got drunk and started groping revellers at the annual Ithilien Ceilidh, it really mortified his guests.

or

When Faramir started making bets about how long he could hold a lit match on his tongue, it really scared his guests.

and, once more,

When Faramir settled down to bed with a dozen teddy-bears.....it really freaked out his guests.

WARNING! Nonsense post below!
 

Upon spotting the Witch-King.

Frodo- Scar-ee! With a double 'e'!
Sam- Heh, We can take him! Its just a big invisible guy on a dragon like thingy. I eat them for breakfast.
Gollum- Frodo, this may not be the best time to tell you but... I AM YOUR FATHER!

Gollum was in no mood to move from behind the cover of the rock until that meddling goblin gave him back his loincloth.

Frodo: That thing we're staring at...is that a security cam?
Gollum: Whoops, told you those filthyyy orcses guards Mordor...
Sam: (after too many Mordorian Mushrooms) ooohhhh, caaaaameera...heeeheeee

Frodo, Sam and Gollum happen upon a mirage in the middle of Mordor.

Frodo: "What's that! A table full of food! We're saved!"
Gollum: "We can't eat hobbit food!"
Sam: "I think Mordor just turned into heaven!"

OR

Gollum reaches the top of the climbing wall first, with Frodo a close second, and Sam bringing up the rear.

OR

Sam: "Why do I have to carry all the bags? Do I look like a donkey to you?!"

OR

The three werewolves sneak up on their next victim.

OR

Sam: "Gollum, I really wish you'd either let me go first, or put on some pants! I can't stand being behind you anymore!"

At the top of the stairs of Cirath Ungol, Sam, Frodo and Gollum find the lift (or elevator for all ye Americans out there).

Only Sam still believes that Daleks can't go upstairs...

While sneaking up from underneath, this trio was hoping to hook a peek at the Mordorian Young Ladies Hula-Hula Society as they went to their post-practice showers; therefore, great was their disappointment as they viewed, instead, the Morannon Black Guard Jitterbugging Guild at an endurance workout.

Gollum: "Minas Morgul!"

Sam: "Oh, great..."

Frodo (thinking): I think that hot blonde makeup girl is checking me out!

Gollum: Precious they are replacing us! We hates him.

http://www.fantastika.lt/img/BoromirAragorn.jpg

Aragorn: Legolas, how could you do that! Don't tell Boromir that you're sexier than he is. You know how sensitive he can get, after all he's from Gondor. Now if he fails in his mission it's your fault.

Boromir is caught red handed pick pocketing Aragorn.

OR

Aragorn: Come, Boromir, we must go... ... ... Boromir! Come!... ... Oh no! Everyone Boromir has gone seen Gandalf the Grey uncloaked! :eek:

Reminiscing of the movie Dumb and Dumber, Aragorn and Boromir break into a spirited rendition of Mocking Bird.

Boromir runs into Pippin who was wearing a metal helmet.

Aragorn: Hey stop laughing...It aint funny!

An extremely uncharacteristic football reference from Mithalwen
 

Boromir's true feelings about Aragorn are revealed when he does what, in another time and place, Vinnie Jones did to Paul Gascoigne.. :eek:

Boromir and Aragorn read some Fellowship slash fanfiction...

OR

Boromir and Aragorn show their outrage at being voted off LOTR Survivor

Boromir: "I feel pretty, oh so--"

Aragorn: "RUN!!"

Boromir has a serious ice cream headche.
or
Aragorn: Pippin! Kicking Boromir in the sweet spot was only funny once!

Aragorn: Ai! Ai! A Balrog is come!

Boromir: Are those wings?

Aragorn: ... ... ...

OR

Boromir: I had no idea that the Eye of Sauron was a real eye!