Gandalf: I demand-eth a new picture!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...ndalfparty.jpg

Bilbo shows Gandalf the Crazy Captions thread.

Gandalf: I do not uncloak that often!

Bilbo: *cough* yeah, *cough*

OR

Gandalf: And if I put my hand in this magic box of mystery I'll find the Ring of power? Not a mouse trap like last time!

Bilbo: Oh, why would you think that? :D

Sweet, innocent girl that I am (not)
 

this is what I thought was obvious for the previous one....

On refelction it had been a mistake to entrust the restoration of the Sistine Chapel to a Tolkien fan....

Gandalf was unimpressed by Bilbo's "smokin' head" party trick. :smokin:

Another tired old smoking gag
 

Since Bogart wouldn't be born for several thousand years, Gandalf was forced to resort to frowning meaningfully.

Gandalf: So, you told the Wraiths how to use MapQuest and that's how they got to Rivendell!?!?!?

Bilbo: Yep!! :D

Gandalf: You know what, I finally figured something out. I don't hate MapQuest, I hate you!!!! :mad:

Gandalf is not impressed with Bilbo's five-mile long pipe.

OR

Bilbo: I know you must get this all the time, but, do Balrogs have wings?

Gandalf: I'm not sure. It may have been a shadow, or wings, I wasn't concentrating.

Gandalf wonders whether to tell Bilbo that his head is on fire.

Bilbo: (through gritted teeth): Hlllp mm Gnndlff!

Gandalf: My dear Mr Baggins, if you choose to put live electrical wires in your mouth, then you really only have yourself to blame.

Bilbo looks to see if Gandalf is enjoying the evenings performance of "Chorus Girls" by the Hobbiton Girls Glee Club. (complete with high kicks...as high as a little hobbit leg can kick anyway!)

Where be you a-goin' to, puffing like a bellows?
 

Bilbo*elbowing Gandalf*: Lookit that Only Real Estel, 'e's got three hundred posts in this thread. Bet you can't say as much.

Gandalf: Let him keep his infamy. I am the subject of a thousand topics, a thousand thoughts, and a thousand...

Bilbo: ...Captions. But only one joke.

Gandalf: *harrumph*

Or...

Bilbo: I should have another drink. It makes you so witty.

Or...

Bilbo: The Old Ones were right..."Stairway to Heaven" makes perfect sense if you're stoned!

Bilbo: "You know Gandalf, it really isn't fair for a Maia to compete in a smoke ring contest with a Hobbit."

Bilbo: (in a taunting singing voice) I found the ring--You didn't!!! Neener neener neener!

Gandalf isn't convinced that tiddlywinks is the 'exciting and indescribably fantastic' game that Bilbo had led him to believe.

OR

Bilbo’s annual staring competition with a fly had lost the massive audiences it once pulled in.

Gandalf: You know, Bilbo, you could really use a trim.
Bilbo: Hmm?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
 

Bilbo: Hey Gandalf, would you help me with my pickup lines?

Gandalf: Um, sure.

Bilbo: 'kay, here goes...

Gandalf: Egads, no wonder he's still a bachelor...


(Sorry...I've been waiting to use those...and no, I've never experienced any of them.)

When summoned before the White Council, Gandalf claimed that while he had tried Longbottom Leaf in his youth in the west that is forgotten, he had never inhaled.
Bilbo knew different, and what's more - as he reminded his old friend - he had the pictures to prove it.

Gandalf: I don't understand!

Bilbo: oh come on now! It's not that hard! Just push the clutch down before changing gear. Then there won’t be so much smoke.

Bilbo: Look at me! I'm Perky, the pipe weed pusher!

Gandalf: Hush now! We'll have no more of that until WWXII


or

Gandalf: Do you realize that your pipe is bigger than your stunt double?


or simply, Bilbo: :smokin:

Gandalf had to admit that Bilbo's moustache was, at least, an original style.

Bilbo boasts he has the longest pipe in all Middle-earth.

Gandalf: Mine's bigger

Gandalf begins to wonder no more as Bilbo's 'new' pipe begins to look more and more like his...


Or...

Bilbo: Say it...

Gandalf: I am Gandalf the cloa...

Bilbo: Say it!

Gandalf: Fine! I am Gandalf the Un-Cloaked!

Bilbo: You know, all these self-confidence seminars are going to pay off one day...

Gandalf: Yes, and you'll still owe me two crates of pipeweed...

~ Aesthete

Gandalf keeps Bilbo distracted while someone pushes a stick towards his exposed nose.

OR

Bilbo: "Oh, Santa, I want a barrel of Old Winyards, and I want to see the Lonely Mountain again, and I want a barrel of pipeweed... no TWO barrels... No, a field of pipeweed!... NO! All the pipeweed fields in the Shire! :eek:

Gandalf: "I think you've had a bit much..."

OR

Gandalf finds it difficult to stay awake as Bilbo tells him about his experiments with mushrooms and wine.

Bilbo: "And then I planted some of Maggot's 'shrooms and watered them with my father's 1296. They turned into this peculiar pinkish-purple plant. It really wasn't that great, but looks good on the table... I think next I'll try..."

Gandalf: "Pssst! Bilbo! What's your WW role?"

Bilbo: "Now, that is the question of the hour, isn't it?"

Bilbo: (snickering) I can't tell if it's the pipe-weed or the Hobbit in my, but MAN I've got the munchies.

Gandalf: Good grief.

Bilbo: You know, if you died your beard green and laid down on the grass, you'd be invisible.

Gandalf: I think you've had too much pipe weed.

OR

Gandalf didn't know how to react to the news that Tom Bombadill was, in fact, Bilbo in disguise.

Gandalf: And I bet you’re really proud of yourself. All that stuff about 'before the dark Lord came form outside' stuff was just nonsense.

Bilbo talks about giving all the hobbit children pipe weed.

Gandalf: You're the drug-lord of Hobbiton? I never knew! How could I let this go under my very nose for such a long time?

THE PRICE OF WEED IS INCREASING
Gandalf: Bilbo please can I smoke some weed?
Bilbo: No my weed go away
Gandalf: Please
Bilbo: You kow how expensive weed is getting? I can hardly afford it now.
(That explains gandalf's sad face).
Bilbo: Why don't you try cotton candy?
Gandalf: :mad:
Bilbo: :D

Gandalf senses that Bilbo is about to make him an offer he can't refuse.

(Oddwen, if only you have seen how much I shivered as I read through that caption of yours... :eek: )

Bilbo comes up with a new way to make his hair grow like Gandalf's.

Bilbo fell for it.
 

Gandalf: I'm actually a spy for Sauron, y'know? Now, tell me where the Ring is, or I'll stick this up your nose.

A huge real life Werewolf game wasn't exactly what Gandalf had had in mind when Bilbo spoke of "a night to remember"...

Not this again.
 

Bilbo: Hey, look over there.

Gandalf: Please, not another badger. I'm scared of badgers.

Bilbo: Look!!! An obvious distraction!!!

Gandalf: Where!?!?

Bilbo: "Don't play innocent with me Gandalf! I know you were watching her dance tonight...nice girl. Hair as blue as cold tea and eyes as blonde as a three-day-old muffin..."

Gandalf: "I think it's time to put down the pipe, Bilbo."

Bilbo: I tell you!
Gandalf: Hm-m?
Bilbo: Come on, Gandalf, I tell you the oliphaunt Gollum promised to give me if I won in the riddle game had a tusk this long! Or maybe even longer! He said his granny gave him that oliphaunt!
Gandalf (thinking): He thinks I'll buy it, like If I don't know what Gollum may have had on his lake! He thinks I'm slow or what?. Heh, I know it was a boar, not an oliphaunt!

Bilbo: "Ah, yes, Gandalf. If there's one thing I've learned it's that nothing ever comes easy. I told Frodo he'd have to work for everything he wanted, that's the way it should be. By the way, how's your lottery ticket looking?"

Bilbo: I have to tell you Gandalf! I think you need to grow a beard.

Gandalf: I think we need a new picture.

http://img-nex.theonering.net/images...book/11564.jpg

The Witch King... ... uncloaked?

OR

Gollum sees a rather unflattering statue of himself and has to restrain himself from leaping out in protest.

a combo...
 

And it looks like Sam is loving it. :D

Frodo, Gollum, & Sam comes across hundreds of Orcs breakdancing.

Gollum: “Stupid Mapquest! This was supposed to be the Green Day concert!”

I think Sam built it. :D

Anyway,

A new starbucks opens in Minas Morgul. Gollum is annoyed, as it was where his favourite bookshop once was. :(

Behold the cave of Caerbannog!
 

Gollum: There he is!
Frodo: Where?
Gollum: There!
Sam: What? Behind the rabbit?
Gollum: It is the rabbit!

or

The wolves had agreed. Gothmog would die toNIGHT.