The punishment for 'disloyalty': Listen to Hoobastank's The Reason once or lie on a bed of razor-sharp pieces of wood for three days. Most people choose the wood.

Faramir had held strong throughout torture in the comfy chair, but how long would he last in.....the soft bed! :eek:

Denathor: Gangrene of the leg, eh? Well, the only way to amputate a leg is through the mouth.

Faramir: You're not a real doctor are you?

Denathor: How dare you! Boromir never criticized me when I castrated him.

Faramir: Yes, but he had a stomach ulcer.

Faramir had used one too many 'on pins & needles' puns for his own good.

Denethor discovers they've got the wrong witch. "This isn't Joan of Arc," he cries.

Denethor: This Faramir is no more! It has ceased to be!

Pippin: He's just resting his eyes!

Denethor: This is an ex-Faramir!

Here a secret camera has caught Denethor trying to sacrifice his insurance claims adjuster.

No . . .
 

Actually, Denethor wanted the role of Prince Charming.

Seeing Faramir clinging to the chandlier(sp), his body guards had the bright idea of placing a pile of sticks to break his fall. Yeah, it broke something, alright.
Guards: "Hurry! We need more sticks!"
Pippin: "Uh, guys? I think he already fell."
Guards: *ignore Pippin and continue to pile sticks*

OR

Faramir made a bad choice of where to take a nap.

OR

I believe this groups collective IQ is about 12. Right, not 120; 12. Just look at them playing hide-and-seek. They just can't seem to find Faramir anywhere. :p

There had to be at least one!
 

This is the only remedy know to help someone who had seen Gandalf the Grey uncloaked.

OR

Denathor: Just admit it! Balrogs DO have wings!

Faramir: Never!

Denethor: "Tonight we taste man Flesh!!"

Denethor: Post a new picture or Faramir's toast.

http://www.lordotrings.com/images/movies/bakshi.jpg

Gandalf found that being a Wizard came in handy when he was stuck for matches and in desperate need of a puff of pipeweed.

(Edit: I thought I'd leave the obvious one to someone else ... ;) )

The Lord of the Scooters! This animated feature follows the wacky and weird adventures of Gandalf, coolest Wizard on Willow Drive, as he travels the length of the street avenging baddies and fighting primordial beasts on his special push-along-scooter, cunningly fashioned by his Dad, from old, second hand magical swords.

Don't tempt me Saruman...I mean Saucie...

And THE LORD came down upon the Hobbitites, and he smote them. And the people quailed.

And He said, "I am THE LORD. Admire my new pointy blue hat, or thou shalt be smitten once more..."

Sam: Oh no, not again. Since we came on this quest it's just been one Glam-dring after another.
Frodo: Of course, what he doesn't realise is that the pun is mightier than the sword.

Little Red Hobbithood: Oh Wizard, what a big sword you have!

PJ never did portray Gandalf's "point of death" as well as the animated version.

or

Frodo is perplexed to see large text mysteriously floating in the air above Gandalf

Frodo: My, Sauron has become very powerful indeed.

The little hobbit was confused. Somehow "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your long beard" just didn't seem to fit.

Yes, yes, we all know that Gandalf is overcompensating something but there were no sportscars in Middle-Earth!

Frodo and Sam seriously hope that Gandalf doesn't do what he's known to do, especially after this sudden exponential growth.

OR

Frodo and Sam watch in horror as a giant The Lord of the Rings drops out of the sky straight for Gandalf!

OR

Gandalf turned his body into a tornado.

OR

Gandalf(refering to last picture): "You dolts! Even I can see Faramir; he's right there." *points*

Gandalf: Look over there!

'The Obvious One'? You guys are terrible...
 

Gandalf hated children.

or

Gandalf may have been accounted the Wisest in Middle-earth, but he always fell for Frodo's static electricity finger-trick.

or

Gandalf laughs in mockery at the Gods who would bind him to the laws of physics; for he was standing on a cloud!

Gandalf: Look over there if you don't want to see me uncloaked! :D

OR

Gandalf: LOOK! A winged Balrog! It’s impossible!

Or yet!

Gandalf: When my beard gets to the length of my Sword, It'll take on a life of its own!

Armed with a sword and a laser pistol, Druken Gandalf was a sight to behold.

Moses Brandybuck: Well, we're fine with most of these Commandments, Lord Gandalf, but we draw the line at: "Thou shalt walk abroad uncloaked".

Hobbit children always hated visits from Uncle Gandalf.

Gandalf: Who put these letters in the sky?

OR

Merry: So that’s where all our Ent draughts went!

And we have, at long last, photographic... er paint-o-graphic proof of Gandalf the Grey uncloaked.

(For the terribly dense among us... there is no visible clothing under that beard)

Gandalf: E.T. phone HOME!!

(p.s. I know that sucked, but look at his finger. It's kind of like E.T.... :rolleyes: )

Both Sam and Frodo are shocked to see that the Wizard they are following is neither Gandalf the Grey nor Gandalf the White but one of the blue wizards recently returned from the east.

Gandalf hurriedly squirted a whole bottle of Tippex into the sky as some large red letters appeared which he was afraid might alert Sauron to his presence.


OR



Gandalf: "Sam. Frodo. No need for fear. We shall descend Caradhras in no time at all by catching hold of this price tag which Legolas has left attached to his cloak and hitching a free ride."

Sam: look Mr.Frodo its one of those Ninja Wizards that Boromir was talking about

Gandalf: "Go home, children, a storm of Mordor is coming!"

Gandalf the Kitchen Help!
 

Gandalf (in deep booming voice): Now, where are those onions that Bilbo needed chopped?

Gandalf pulls a Disco move! Boromir is not impressed! More at 11!

The villagers felt fairly safe with their rather large, well-armed Guardian, but, at the same time, he was just a little bit unsettling.

edit: I see I have joined the illustrious Crazy Caption 300-Post Club...

Sam: So, Gandalf... I see that your Schwartz is as big as mine. But do you know how to use it?

Gandalf attempts to turn a sword into ploughshares, without much luck.

Gandalf's new job...
 

GANDALF: None shall pass.
BALROG: What?
GANDALF: None shall pass.
BALROG: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Wizard, but I must
cross this bridge.
GANDALF: Then you shall die.
BALROG: I command you as Balrog of the Britons to stand aside!
GANDALF: I move for no man.