"The snowfall will be the sparsest!"
said the innacurate weatherman

Who was later beaten up by Sam
Because his taters would not grow

Then The Weatherman decided go,
He knows when hes no loved.

To Weathertop he went, where he shoved
from the top a Troll gnawing a shinbone

the troll turned into a hambone
and Sam woke up to find he'd dreamt the whole thing.

~The End?~

This poem can NEVER end!
 

With that, he slowly began to sing
A song of chickens and of snow

The Song was distracting sam as he stubbed his toe,
and yelled a yell that scared the chickens and snow.

Slowly, he began to stumble too and fro
While Frodo laughed from up in a tree

And made no attempt to hide his glee,
So Sam got miffed and tried to think up

A way to steal Frodo's favourite cup
For that would surly get him down

So Same went into Town,
To the Theives Guild he went to learn

But the Alchemists caused it to burn
To the ground so he switched to the Assassin's instead

But on his first day, when he got out of bed,
He found he had slept to noon!

So he shook his fists at the moon
Till he realised it was actually the sun

And momentarily blinded, he lapsed into a pun
About putrid poets who write doggerel verse

But at work his boss was still very terse,
And said that for his health he mustn't stay.

Otherwise he would surly have to pay
For all the damage he made with drink

But his boss was the Gaffer, which made Sam blink
and said, "Who're you to talk so about damage

I think you're going daft in your old age."
So they had to get an old wizard to help...

And they found one who specialized in kelp.
He was sure its magical powers would cure anything

But all he did was make it sing.
Though it sang of far-off lands,

And all of his previous bands.
Yet now Sam slowly fell asleep

And dreamed of hambones all in a heap
cleaned of meat by a mean old Troll

But all of a sudden he was hit with a Doll
Wielded by a young hobbit all in green

The Trall that rhymes with doll vented his spleen
and hit the young hobbit with his uncle's shin bone

But he saw the sun and turned to stone.
So the Hobbit, saved from the brink of death,

But he then decided to shout "Macbeth"
In order to annoy the superstitious ones

Who feared anakronisms as if they were guns,
So the credulous hobbits demanded his head

Then, instead, they were given a loaf of bread
For it was the season of the wheat harvest

When young hobbits are full after the fest
And penguins fly without their heads

'But that, leaves our story in shreds',
said the lead headless penguin, so they departed

And the hobbits found that they were outsmarted,
For the loud sayer of ill omens was also missing.

But the people this ill-omened sayer was dissing
Decided to leave him a fortune in gold,

He had but to do what he was told
By Lobelia every day for a year

The hobbit said,"Now, look here!
I don't have to do what you say!"

And until the end of the day
He repeated this over again

The benefacting Hobbits said to him plain,
"Of course you don't if you don't want the money!"

Which he apparently thought was highly funny,
Laughing straight up 'til he busted a gut

he then yelled so loud, he blew up a hut!
But it belonged to an old Troll named Steve

Who stood up and yelled at the Hobbit to leave.
Poor Gus, who, gut still busted, sat and cried instead