Fortunately Frodo got safely home.

Unfortunately, his home was on fire.

Fortunately the S-B's were inside so this was actually a good thing.

Unfortunately, the alien-eating dog from Post #552 mysteriously appeared again and bit Frodo's foot.

Fortunately, the yelps of pain that Frodo subsequently emitted due to the AED's sudden change of loyalties brought troops of sleepy hobbits out of their houses - and seeing his house on fire they set about putting out the fire.

Unfortunately The hobbits didn' have any water so they threw themselves ontop of the fire

Fortunately, casualties were lower than expected.

Unfortunately, Tolkien started spinning in his grave at the absurdities related to Middle-Earth presented in this thread. This caused him to rise from the dead, seeking terrible vengeance against the Frodo in this thread who had so deviated from the path Tolkien wrote for him...

FEAR THE ZOMKIEN

Fortunately, Gil-Galad did what TGWBS did to other downers, and disregarded his post by saying that the fire was finnally out but now a giant snake is threatening the hobbits


"Do unto other what you would have done unto you"

Unfortunately, the giant snake ate Frodo.

Fortunately the snake had swallowed Frodo whole and as he was wearing Sting he was able to cut the snake open from the inside and get out.

Unfortunately, as soon as he escaped, the alien-eating dog started attacking him.

Fortunately, the Dog spontaneously combusted.

Unfortunately, this angered the snake, who was still alive, although a bit worse for the wear.

Fortunately Frodo remembered his home in Crickhollow and hitched a ride on a pony-cart driven by Merry.

Unfortunately, the cart turned into a small curry halfway to Crickhollow.

*sigh* From one type of heat to another...

Fortunately, although Frodo himself was not a particular fan of curry (he was himself of a rather mild constitution), one of the nearby home-owners was a particularly avid curry-eater, and offered him his own cart and pony in return for this peculiar, piquant prize.

Unfortunately, the Cows of Doom showed up.

Fortunately, Frodo now had two ponies to combat the Cows of Doom. After a short battle, all the Cows were dead and the Ponies had grown to level 28 and learnt the new "Scratch Attack."

Sounds like TGWBS has been playing a lot of Pokemon recently.
 

Unfortunately, the ponies refused to obey Frodo any longer and attacked him.

Fortunately, Gimli showed up and killed the Pony and then ate it.

Unfortunately, pony meat is highly poisonous to Dwarves.

Fortunately that is only an urban legend.

Unfortunately, it is one of the few urban legends that are actually true.

fortunately, Gimli got the antivenom in time and hopped off cheerily, singing a song above The Glittering Caves.

Unfortunately, he fell into one of them.

Fortunately he wasn't killed.

Unfortunately, he landed right on top of a large sleeping dragon, who was really angry about being woken up and attempted to burn Gimli to a crisp.

Fortunately Gimli had his axe handy and killed the dragon.

Unfortunately, his axe (which was an Acme Axe that he had gotten from Wile E. Coyote) broke before he could hit the dragon with it.

Fortunately Legolas was there and killed the dragon with his bow and arrow.

Unfortunately (or is it fortunately) as the dragon keeled over it landed on top of Legolas and squashed him flat with absolutely NO chance of ANY kind of resurrection.

Fortunately for King Thranduil Gimli paid the funeral and burial expenses.

Unfortunately, Thranduil found Gimli's story about a dragon in the Glittering Caves a little unbelievable, figured that Gimli must have killed Legolas, and threw the dwarf in the dungeon.

Fortunately, Bilbo Baggins reappeared from the Undying Lands with the Ring and some keys and could thus set Gimli free and roll him down the river in a barrel.

Unfortunately, this brought the One Ring back into the storyline again and caused the Nazgul to chase after Bilbo.

Fortunately, the Nazgul were now only 2 inches tall.

Unfortunately size doesn't matter...

Thought that was fortunately ;)
 

Fortunately it's what you do with it that counts and the Nazgul were so dispriented by their sudden height change that they fled.

Unfortunately, they fled right after Ol' Bilbo, who was too old to run away.