Peasant: who are you?

Theoden: what? i'm your king!

Peasant: didn't know we have a king

Theoden: i'm Theoden, king of the Rohirrim!

Peasant: King of the who?

Theoden: the Rohirrim!

Peasant: who are the Rohirrim?

Theoden: we all are! we al lare Rohirrim!

Peasant: so your the king? well i didn't vote for you

I had to do this!
 

Theoden: Tell me! Where are the riders from Snowcone?

Guy in the croud: We sent them away. There were too many!

As ROTK ran over budget cuts had to be made. First was the removal of horses in favour of suits worn around the waist with 'realistic' horse bodies.
Bernard Hill: I'm a classically trained actor, this is bloody ridiculous!
PJ: You'll shut up or you'll find out just how keen Sean Connery was to play Theoden!

A classic
 

Theoden: What are you doing!?!

Soldier: Um..nothing my lord

Theoden: Do not lie! What is in your mouth!?!

Soldier: *swallow* nothing...

Theoden: TELL ME!

Soldier: ...gum...

Theoden: Did you bring enough for the rest of the army?

Soldier: Um....

Theoden: Forth Eorlingas!!!


:smokin:

Theoden: Who stole my McGriddle?

Or...To finish what Gil-Galad started...

Theoden: I Theoden, King of the Rohirrim...

A Soldier who happens to be named Dennis: Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.

Theoden: I am your king.

Another Soldier: Well I didn't vote for you.

Theoden: You don't vote for Kings.

Soldier #2: Well how did you become King then?

Theoden: The Lady of the Wood, Galadriel, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Herugrim from the bosom of the Forest, signifying by divine providence that I, Theoden, was to carry Herugrim. THAT is why I am your king.

Dennis: Listen, strange women lyin' in the woods distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical forested ceremony.

Theoden: That'll be enough of you.

Dennis: Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some tree-hugging bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away.

Theoden: That's it, Guards, Sieze him!

Dennis: Come see the violence inherent in the system. Help, help, I'm being repressed.

Theoden: Listen to me! For I am your king!

Solider: Since when are you King?

Theoden: Since I pulled Excalibur from it's imprisonment!!

PJ: WHAT!!! THE SCRIPT!! GET ME THE SCRIPT!! O!! And some dounghuts to! ;)

Theoden dissing out the troops
 

Theoden: *rassafrassin* Grima Wormtongue!! *rassafrassin* Bloody Warg Riders!! *rassafrassin*

Theoden's horse: *sighs* Don't they have those bleeping things like on Jerry Springer?

School boy pranks of the Rohirrim
 

Theoden: OUCH! Okay who put the spear on my horse?

(look closely it appears as though the spear impaled him)

or

Theoden: Oh shut up you! Malbeth if I've told you once I've told you a hundred times Snowman will not be my bane on this voyage

Theoden: Okay, which one of you put a whoopee cushion on my saddle?

Merry: "Oh, by the way, what does Stybba mean?"

Theoden: "Stubby."

Merry: "Oh."

Theoden was hoping that the annual "Theoden King" photo would turn out well, but the bloody photographer had his finger over part of the lense. :rolleyes:

Théoden: You there! Are you busy?

Soldier: Erm... ... no.

Théoden: Then you're fired!

OR

Even in his later life, Théoden was still terrified of the horsy rides at the carnival.

Jumping in on the bandwaggon . .
 

Théoden: What do you mean this isn't Pelennor? Oh, I hate MapQuest!

Theoden: Whats in 'ell are you doing?? Cooking at a time like this!!! This is war!!

Soldier: Um...I made you some kentucky fried chicken! And uh, some pumpkin pie!

Theoden: OH! Well in that case bring it here!!

Or....

Theoden: Grimbald where are the....hey!!! Alright which one of you chumps brought the bimbo in the jeans?

Guy in jeans: I regret that! I am your makeup artist!

or.....

Theoden: I am only going to ask you one more time!!! WHO STOLE THE COOKIE FROM THE COOKIE JAR??!!!!

Theoden's Rant!
 

Theoden: Hey! Who gave me this Cotton-Poly undershirt? I expressly stated I want pure cotton. You know these hybrid blends are murder on my skin.

Théoden put his sword though his hand... again.

OR

Singer: Bravely bold King Théo, rode forth from Meduseld.
He was not afraid to die! Oh braid King Théo!
His head smashed in and his limbs cut off
And his liver removed and his eyes poked out...

Théoden: All right, that's enough of that!

Theoden King? More like Theoden Tyrant...
 

Thedoen: "You stand at attention like my grandma! You there! If my dog had a face like your's I'd shave it's backside & teach it to walk backwards!"

Theoden wants to know why his horse is armoured with old tractor tyres

Theoden: "Right you bunch of wusses! Let's see what happens when a real man gets a go on the Bucking Bronco! Fire her up, Eomer!"

Theoden: Ride forth, Eorlings! To the mall!
Eomer: Aren't we supposed to be going to Pelennor?
Theoden: That can wait! Witch-King Enterprises just opened a Starbucks at Minas Morgul!

Yosser Hughes: "Eh, when I said Gissa Job I didn't think you'd have me doing this lark! I meant a nice office job, maybe a company pension and flexi time!"

Little did the Villagers know that they were about to lynch their Seer...

or

It was impossible to get your horse parked during the season sales.

Théoden: I'll have you know stubbles are very much in fashion and are very attractive! Anyone who says different can leave now!

A crazed Peter Jackson nods his head as Bernard Hill enthusiastically declares that "They will never take OUR FREEDOM!!!"

OR

A crazed Peter Jackson nods his head as Bernard Hill takes the Rohirrim-Viking likeness too far and declares that he will be taking the peasant girls of the defeated village home tonight.

OR

A crazed Peter Jackson nods his head as Bernard Hill declares that the depleted Rohirrim army need "The Elves of Nargothrond! Send out Riders!"

OR

A crazed Peter Jackson nods his head as Bernard Hill, at the climax of the Battle of Pelennor Fields, declares that "Arwen! Arwen is here! We are saved!"

Theoden: "I'll have you know these are scales-a type of armour. And if I hear one more 'mermaid' joke I'm beheading the first one of you I see!"

Soldier from Crowd: Where you going my Lord?

Theoden: I'm outta here.

Theoden: "Alright, I see you Eowyn. Did you really think you could hide in that pathetic outfit? You would've had a better chance if you hadn't shouted a high pitched "Death!" at today's Battle Rehearsal. Get out of line and head home."

Rohirric Drive-thrus . . .
 

Théoden: I've been waiting two hours ago! Where's my Hornburger?!

OMG I HAVE A HORNBURGER T-SHIRT!!!!!!! I ATE AT TEH HORNBURGER!!!!


Theoden: Forth Eorlingas!!!!!
*flash of bright light*
Camera attendant: Ok dude, here's your picture. I'm gonna need to to take the armor and wig off now.
Theoden: What speaketh of you? This is my armor, forged for my fathers, Lords of the Riddermark.
Camera attendant: Dude, take the mail off
Theoden: Traiterous Worm! Yah Snowmane! We ride for Minas Tirith!
Camera attendant: Oh, and If you want to stay on the horse, you're gonna have to get back in line at let the kids ride it first
Theoden: But...i brought quarters
Camera attendant: *pulls out walkie-talkie* Um..Brick? I'm gonna need some help here over by the Ferris Wheel, over!

Théoden's comedy shoes did little to improve moral.

OR

Théoden: I thought I made it very clear! The code for 'dress-down Friday' are very clear; no denim, no trainers. So take this guy away and have him shot... in the face... with a crossbow. And then I want an apology!

Théoden attempts to handle a rebellion.
 

Théoden: Can't we discuss this in a more peaceful manner?

Rebellious Rohirrim: No!

Théoden: I promise to think about building a Hornburger joint here.

Rebellious Rohirrim: Ummm . . . Deal!

Theoden cuts off someone's head.
Theoden: "Alright! Anyone else want to make fun of my skirt!"

OR

Theoden: "Ahh... AHHH... ACHOOO!"

OR

Theoden is starting to hear voices.

OR

Theoden: "Was that Donald Trump?!"

Stupid Ring...
 

Rider: Hail, Theoden King!

Theoden: What, another hail storm?

Theoden: I command all as king to reply with a witty caption to this new picture

http://www.theargonath.cc/pictures/a...orneowyn11.jpg

Aragorn: Gandalf, must you be uncloaked even now?

Aragorn: Shame on you Gandalf, there's a lady present!
Eowyn: This lady doesn't mind!

Or...

Aragorn: See that? That man has cheese.
Eowyn: I like cheese.
Aragorn: I know you like cheese...do you want to go get the cheese?
Eowyn: Yes! I want to go get the cheese!
Aragorn: Go get the cheese, lady!
Eowyn: CHEEEEESE!

Or...

Eowyn: Stop blowing my hair into my face, you dirty Ranger!

Or...

Aragorn the Werewolf leads Eowyn the formerly Cursed Villager to meet her new friends.

Eowyn: Grima! And...Háma! I never even suspected you!

It seems that Aragorn forgot to take off his spiky gauntlet.

OR

Eowyn and Aragorn look in horror as a star bucks opens in Meduseld.

Arwen walks in on 'Gorn and Eoywn snogging.

Eowyn: All your words are but to say: you are a woman, and your part is in the house. But when the men have died in battle and honour, you have leave to be burned in the house, for the men will need it no more. But I am of the House of Eorl and not a serving-woman. I can ride and wield blade, and I do not fear either pain or death.

Aragorn: Yes dear, I'm sure your right. Now, me and the guys have got some important things to discuss. So be a good girl and run along to the kitchen, would you? There's a stack of washing up needs doing. Oh, and bring us some beers while you're at it.

*Kerrrr-pow! Whump! Crrrunch!*

Aragorn: Oooyeeaargghh! Mmmphbble! ... Urk?

Eowyn and Aragorn see Dead People.

or

Aragorn: Don't look behind you, Eowyn. Legolas is staring at your hair. He likes it.
Eowyn: Ewww!!

*moments later*

Aragorn: Sorry, Legolas...she didn't like the pick up line you gave me.
Legolas: What?! Why not? *sighs*
Aragorn: I told you that you should have just done it yourself. I think my scruffy manliness scared her.

Aragorn: *whispering to Eowyn*
Eowyn: Peter Jackson is doing what to Faramir?!

Or

for the wonderfully overused werewolf captions...
Aragorn and Eowyn stare up in terror as they realize they've lynched the Seer.