Then he turned out to be Jeremy Beadle
And the Valar were on his new TV show

But the Valar thought that was low
and they turned him into an Orange!

Manwe said," the show was called 'Blorange'
So we must take his house and home

And homeless he shall have to roam,
begging as a pauper in the streets."

Radagast woke up: he'd been weeping in his sheets.
"What a horrible dream!" he said, and resolved

To make sure that the Valar all dissolved
But he realised he had no such power

So he left Rhosgobel's tower
To search the world for someone who did

But across the globe no one was found who would rid
The Circles of Arda of their group of creators.

Nor, indeed, of museum curators,
Who had now plagued the Shire

A war broke out! You could hear gunfire!
Every hobbit fought the curator invaders

And this war was serious to the Hobbits because they forgot about their Taters,
And soon the war spread to the Havens which are Grey! not Silver!

Gil-Galad, you, um...er... bilver!
No true word rhymes with that which you just said!

But when the curators were all very dead
The hobbits invited the Wizards to tea

And were surprised when all three,
one Brown and two Blue, showed up on time


*....miniver
kill her
dill verse
fill hers
hill curse
milner
Nilper
piller
still her
until her
*
get the point? ;)

It was hard for the shire folk to think of a rhyme
But when Gandalf arrived, everything changed

The hobbits sprouted fur and became fanged!
The werehobbits chased the wizards for a month.

Ha! Try rhyming that.

The Blue and the Brown cried, "You little runts!
Don't you dare bite us or we'll be diminutive!

once
bunce
bunt
runt
stunt
front

If you had a lisp! :p
And their voices in anger rose an octave
As though they had breathed in helium

But the Hobbits were called by their mum
To go and eat their tea and stop hunting

And to help set up the patriotic bunting
For today was a national celebration

Despite the lack of anything like a nation,
For the Hobbits didn't care, wanting a party

And they had a night that was most hearty
Dancing and singing songs so very loud...

Some of their brightest had studied themselves proud
And made fireworks the like even Gandalf would make

Though everybody knew Gandalf's were fake.
His were cheap things manufactured in Rhun

But, all the same, they were still quite fun
And could be used to shoot Nazgûl down

They turned the Witch-king into quite a clown
when he fell into Lobelia's lap!

And so his arms began to flap
Attempting to fly like a fool

Rhun = foon?
 

With gallons of insubstantial drool
falling from his negative Ringworld gobs

And his golden pocketwatch fobs
became tangled in Lobelia's dress

She cried, "Ack, what a mess!
Then turned into the spider she's named for

Because Gandalf thought her a dreadful bore
And he waved his staff and stroked his beard

And at the spider closely peered
Then set her on his pointy hat

Then she ate it and grew very fat
So much so, that she imploded

And Gandalf's fireworks exploded
As the 1812 Overture began to play

And the Ringwraith's unseen hair turned gray
And mini-Lobelia spun a web among the sparks

As the fireworks exploded in great arcs!
Colorful and bright lights filled the sky.

And the Ring wraith's left their cloaks to dry
In the heat made by the exploding fireworks

But the wind blew the cloaks into the murk
Of the neeker breekering Midgewater Marshes

And they cried for a lack of rhyme for marshes
Thus causing the Nazgûl to attack to Wizard

Who rebuffed the attack by causing a blizzard
That went down in lore as one of the harshest ;)

(or 'worst', if you need me to edit it....)

bar chest
marshes
darkest
harkened
larkses
parks it
tark hit
work it

..lllllots of possibilities..... ;)