Fortunately the pickpockets weren't killed.

Unfortunately they becmae mad with anger and marched down the aisle to cut Legolas hair off

Fortunately, Gandalf turned them into spotted toads.

Unfortunately Ungoliant emerged from the East-Gate of Moria and headed south.

Fortunately the Bus was north and was heading North

Unfortunately, it was headed right into a dragon's lair.

Fortunately, "dragon's lair" is just cockney slang for a bus stop.

Unfortunately, a giant squid got on the bus and thought Frodo looked tasty.

Fortunately it had to spit Frodo back out because his parents told him not to eat hobbits off the ground

Unfortunately, he spit Frodo out the window.

Fortunately he landed on a trampoline.

Unfortunately, it bounced him into a bottomless pit of doom.

Fortunately, there was a net over the pit, so Frodo was saved.

Unfortunately, the net was a spider's web.

Fortunately, Frodo had the Phial of Galadriel.

Unfortunately you had to insert 25 cents

Fortunately, Frodo had several quarters.

Unfortunately he dropped all of them into the spiders mouth

Fortunately, the spider got the 'quarters' stuck in its throat and died.

Unfortunately the FAN's (First Aid Nymph's) arrived and performed the Heimlich Manoeuvre thus causing the quarters to ping out of the spiders throat, break the net, hit Frodo on the head and everything falls down.

Fortunately, the bottomless pit of doom was inhabited by friendly pterodactyls that gave Frodo a ride back up.

Unfortunately Ungoliant scored her first above-ground kill in centuries, a horse and a rider.

Fortunately, this didn't affect the current situation.

Unfortunately the pterodactyl carrying Frodo freaked out everyone so Frodo had to land far from home.

Fortunately this was a good thing as everyone back home was mad at Frodo for having sold Bag End to the Sackville-Bagginses.

Unfortunately Ungoliant was continuing her reign of terror in Rohan.

Fortunately, nobody cared about Ungoliant because the main storyline was focusing on Frodo. :p

Unfortunately this was deemed rather insulting to The Elf-Warrior who went on a murderous rampage against TGWBS.

Fortunately Gil-Galad didn't do anything as he watched Ungoliant devour TGWBS

Unfortunately The Elf-warrior was devoured by Ungoliant too.

Fortunately Gil-Galad and Kath didn't do anything...and is that a smirk on Kath's face?

Unfortunately that was a smirk on Kath's face as Ungoliant choked on the Elf-Warrior as so was removed from all future storylines.

Fortunately thus was the gravest threat to Middle-Earth since Sauron removed. Huzzah! Oh, and by the way, I can continue posting on this thread. ;)

Moving on...
 

Unfortunately, Morgoth somehow escaped from the Void.

Fortunately he was also devoured along with TGWBS and Elf_Warrior

Unfortunately Frodo caught a cold walking back home.

Fortunately, a 15-foot tall talking duck inexplicably cured it.

Unfortunately it was sheer coincidence because the duck was a quack.

Fortunately the Duck made Frodo get Aflack insurance

Unfortunately, the duck got ensnared in a time warp, went forward to the 21st Century, and got eaten in a chinese restaurant with delightful plum sauce.