David: Two o'clock, Sean- those two babes from the Lorien set that were eying us earlier-
Sean: *elbows David* Don't stare- we want them to look first and then we'll catch 'em staring-
David: But, dude, that's what they're trying to do to us-
Sean: They'll look. Trust me. I've been a big star for years. They always look. Give 'em a couple seconds.
David: All right, man.
Sean: *elbows David* You're still staring.
David: Sorry.

(if you've ever been a mall cruising teenage guy I'm sure you can completely relate to my post ;) )

Boromir: Someone's hand is on my bum. It's not yours, is it?
Faramir: Don't turn around, I think it was Ioreth.
Boromir: Drat her unavoidable advances!

Faramir: Look Boromir hot babes at 8 o'clock.
Boromir: Don't bother me now we have a new picture.

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.ya...ndo_bloom6.jpg

Aragorn: I'll be darn it's one of those "Whatever you do, no matter what situation you're stuck in, do not press this button" thingy's.

Boromir: I want to press it.

Legolas: No! It says don't press it.

Boromir: I want to press it so badddd....just this once...

Will...not...make..."uncloaked"...joke...
 

When cast members came down with a nasty case of the flu, Peter Jackson immediately remedied the situation by getting cardboard cutouts to act as stand-ins.

or...

Boromir and Legolas pretend not to notice that Aragorn's lack of hygiene has grown so bad that his foot fungus is beginning to glow.

PJ: *off camera* Viggo, this scene won't work if you're not all looking at the same thing!
Viggo: I'm a rebel!

No one liked Pj's idea of having Legolas cry like a baby after he finds Boromir mortally wounded.

Viggo Mortensen: "Ridiculous!"

Sean Bean: "Pj's cracked."

Orlando Bloom: "No way I'm going to cry like a baby, sir!"

Boromir: What in the world is that glowing light?
Legolas: I don't know- but I don't think it's friendly, and it's coming this way. What should we do, Aragorn!?
Aragorn: Everyone stare at it and look mad. Maybe we can frighten it away.

As Boromir & Legolas prepare to take on the newest foe, Aragorn fires up his jetpack & prepares to rocket off to Rivendell, leaving the two suckers to their fate.

"I knew he was old, but . . . "
 

Aragorn: It's horrible!

Boromir: I told you we shouldn't have come here.

Legolas: Guys, that's just Galadriel with her make-up off.


(Shameless plug: First "uncloaked" joke.)

Aragorn: It cannot be?

Boromir: Awesome, I'm the prettiest one here.

Legolas: I say we break it.

Sean: *whispers* I bet I look really studly right now.
Orlando: Not half as studly as me.
Sean: Yeah right- you're wearing tights and you don't have a beard.
Orlando: You only have the beard to cover up your non-sexy face.
PJ: Cut it out, you two! Focus on the scene!
Viggo: *thinks to self* I wonder if anyone notices that my arrow quiver is across my chest, or that, since I lost my contacts, I'm probably always looking the wrong place?

From left to right we have: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. :D

No, no, no Formendhacil.
 

It's the Bad, the Feeling-Pretty, and the . . . uh . . . Scruffy?

That was lame.

Here's an idea... no it's not Gandalf the grey uncloaked... sort of.
 

In a game of Werewolf...

Aragorn: It's defiantly Frodo, he's too nice.
Boromir: No, no. I think Gandalf; he's kept that cloak on for too long now.
Legolas: No! It's Sam! Can't you see! He's getting close to Frodo so he can kill him!
Aragorn: Are we going to decide whom to lynch or do we let the wolves win?

OR

Aragorn's bow sets of fire as Legolas and Boromir try and keep straight faces.

The shock was mutual when Charlie met his Angels.

The actors were unsure about the merits of Peter Jackson's plan to insert a Three Musketeers parody in the middle of Moria.

or...

Legolas: *whispers* "Psst! Boromir! I thought you said there were no bears in this cave!"

Boromir: "O no, I thought you said....but then....o dear."

Seeing a party of hundreds of orcs breakdancing to rap music wasn't high on any of the three's memory lists.

Gorn, Legolas and Boro quickly realised that this was an Orc-only nightclub.

The three first-time Werewolves hung about uncertainly, not sure who they should kill first.

Or...

Legolas: This isn't the bathroom.
Boromir(grimly): It is now.

Or...

As the Orcs rudely challenged Boromir's Disco King title, Aragorn and Legolas knew it was time to step aside...

Or...

Legolas: Psst, Aragorn, your quiver is on backwards.
Aragorn: It's not my quiver.
Boromir: Then what...
Aragorn: It's an ear of corn. Shut up and don't ask!

Or...

After Aragorn's left arm was hewn off, he composed a handy sling to keep it in. Boromir and Legolas were not impressed.

To continue that...

Legolas: C'mon man, it's just an arm, you can grow another one.
Boromir: Huh, you think that's a serious injury? Why, one time they chopped off my...

Or...

Legolas: Aragorn, why are you carrying a baby?
Boromir*whine*: Yeah, it's my turn.

Aragorn: "Shhh! Don't let Elrond here you!" :p

The three remaining Fellowship looked on in surprise as the alien mothership emitted a sickly blue glow. It was Gandalf's turn to be probed, and Aragorn couldn't understand why Legolas was so darn *interested*.

Seconds earlier...
 

Upon being confronted by 200,000 Orcs on their doorstep ( ;) ), Gimli had yelled: "Screw this! I'm retiring!"


or


Boro, Gorn, and Legolas carefully assessed the situation inside their own heads: three of them; one doughnut.

PJ: "Ok, you'll all come around the corner, and right there is the King of the Dead."
Viggo: "But isn't Gimli supposed to be with us, and didn't Boromir die?"
PJ: "No, I cut Gimli from this part. And we wrote Boromir's resurrection into the script. He was brought back to life by Gandalf."
Orlando: "But that is so way off from Tolkien!"
PJ: "I don't care. It'll be cool. And besides, this is my 'interpretation' of Lord of the Rings, so I'll do whatever I want."
Boromir: *thinking* Good, more screen time for me!

OR

Boromir: "I told you this was the wrong way."
Legolas: "But we followed the map perfectly!"
Aragorn: "Ohh! I hate MapQuest!"

(in his left hand)
 

The Balrog was enraged to find that Legolas had stolen his tail.

Boromir and Legolas to Gimli(offscreen):So these Mines have a restroom right?

Gimli:Let me show you how a dwarf does it!

(hence grossed out look on Aragorn's face

Aragorn: It cannot be? Do you see what I see?

Legolas: A mob of fangurls!

Aragorn: No, Gandalf uncloaked is really Arwen?

Legolas: Oh really? I see a mob of fangurls!

Boromir: That's not good, but they're not after me. Sorry Legolas.

Or if any of you are "Whose Line is it anyway" buffs...

Aragorn The scruffy, unclean man: How are we going to solve this one? I don't think I can deal with this by myself. I need some help!

(Legolas enters)

Legolas: Good grief what do we have here?

Aragorn: Oh thank you, just in time Mr. I hope my hair looks good elf guy. We have a crisis here, glowing goop! What do we do?

Legolas: Let me fix my hair first, it's all frizzy.

(Boromir enters)

Boromir: Hey guys, what's going on?

Legolas: You arrived just in time Sir I don't care if I die I just want to hack things up. We don't know what to do!

Boromir: Well I say...

Aragorn: We know, you think we should let you hack all the goop. But really, that won't work. Your sword would just go through it

Boromir: Actually I was going to say we should do something about the Cave Troll that was about to eat Frodo, and now just did eat him, but I can see we now have a bigger problem.

Legolas: Yes, Goop!

Boromir:I thought he was just a myth....(awestruck)

Legolas: He can't be here...the...the...

Aragorn:BarrowWight

Gandalf: Fools of a Took (pippin protests in background) The B-W glows green not blue!

All three:Oh right...well then what's that?

Gandalf: I 'unno.

Boromir: "What?! The Playboy Mansion?! We were supposed to go to Minas Tirith! Now my city will come to ruin! Ohh! I hate MapQuest!"
Legolas: "Blast! Why couldn't it have misled us to the Elvish Playboy Mansion! Ohh! I hate MapQuest!"
Aragorn: "Ohh! I LOVE MapQuest!"

A twist in the tale yet again! (Its going to snap one day)
 

Galadriel the white uncloaked?

OR

Legolas: I hate to tell you this Aragorn. But seeing as how we are surrounded by Orcs and have no hope of rescue, I think I ought to. I've been seeing Arwen behind your back.

Aragorn: Is that so? I've been seeing her behind your back!

Legolas: YOU BA***D!

Ehk, Original...
 

After over two weeks, Aragorn finally notices the profound odor surrounding him and his companions.

A: *Sniff...Sniffffff* Do you smell something? I swear, something died in here!

L: (Underbreath) Yeah, every bloody thing in here thanks to your pits!

B: (Thinks in head) *Sniff* Oh no! I hope it's not me, I only just used Legolas' ManStink-Be-Gone Perfume yesterday!


~ Aesthete

And yet again, Captain Obvious to the rescue of those who can't follow the plot
 

Aragorn: Legolas! What do your Elve's eyes see?

Legolas: We are in the mines of Moria, and I am with Aragorn and Boromir. Boromir has slung upon his back the mighty shield of Gondor, and Aragorn bears the torch. They are both unshaven but I am clean and smooth.

Boromir: What fate is it that has brought us to this terrible place?

Legolas: It is the command of Agent Elrond that has sent us upon the Quest of the Ring, to Mount Doom. Ai Ai! A Balrog of Morgoth! I am terribly frightened and we must all flee now before the great monster!

This is dedicated to Fordhim.
 

Legolas: I think that Balrog's mad at us.

Boromir: Thanks a lot, Captain Obvious.

Aragorn: What Balrog?

Boromir: That one.

Aragorn: That can't be a Balrog. It's flying.

Boromir: Well, duh! It has wings.

Aragorn: Yes, but the wings are just formed from the shadow taking shape around it. I think that's Gothmog.

Boromir: What book have you been reading? Gothmog? It's flying, for crying out loud.

Aragorn: Well, he must be on his winged steed. Ringwraiths have winged steeds, right?

Boromir: Gothmog? A Nazgûl? You must be out of your mind!

Legolas: Gothmog? You mean that pink Orc?

Both: Shut up!

Viggo: Guys? I think we're being Punk'd.

Note the surprise (and slight disgust) as the Fellowship encounter a Starbuck's in Moria.

Aragorn, Legolas and Boromir are shocked to see the Hobbits doing imitations of members of the fellowship, especially at Sam's impersonation of Gandalf the Grey! :eek:

OR

The Three members of the Fellowship stare in disgust at the new picture.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...bbitsmoria.jpg

The Hobbits were so distracted by Gandalf the grey uncloaked that they did not notice the alien pick pocket who was making off with their wallets.

:rolleyes:

The Hobbits try to get Gandalf to look in the other direction so he doesn't notice their latest chemistry experiment.

Gandalf: Hobbits! Whatever you do! Don't turn around!

Frodo: Why? What's there?

Gandalf: Aragorn has just had a bath!

Hobbits: :eek:

OR (on similar lines)

Aragorn angrily asks who washed his cloths. The Hobbits turn away to try and look innocent.

The four hobits at the gate of Mordor
 

Merry: "We are four hobbits from the Shire. We, uh, have the Ring and are traveling to Mount Doom, so, uh...let us pass! Please."

Merry: Who goes there? What do you want?

Harry: I'm the gatekeeper. I'm supposed to ask you.

or...

The Hobbits witness a most unpleasant site of a Cave Troll regurgitating.

Merry: Good gracious! It seems Fatty really has sucked to much helium this time!
Frodo: Quick! He's floating away!