Continuing Lalwendë's post;

Sam: But didn't Gandalf say that Mordor was a terrible place with dragons and pits and Orcs? This doesn’t look like Mordor to me.

Frodo: No, no! He said it was a 'terriblé' place, that’s elvish for "Shire-like" and with Dragons, as in, like the Green Dragon and not Pits, bits... of food. Yes. And Orc? No Orcs. Just... err... err... Forks... yeah, forks!

Sam: Have you been smoking Pippin's pipe again?

Frodo: Weren’t we supposed to be having a holiday at a ski resort, Sam?
Sam: Um…er… we is there, we has skis on, hasn’t we now, Master Frodo?
Frodo: Yes, definitely. We lack snow, obviously, though. Should not have come in September, perhaps…
Sam: Er…It said ‘have a wonderful holiday skiing’ on the poster, it did not say when to come… look, Master Frodo, it ain't that bad, they provided an instructor for us after all!
Frodo: For Gandalf’s beard’s sake, Sam, it’s a scarecrow!
Sam: Blimey, I thought that’s how such a foreign thing as instructor should look like…

Playing off Kitanna...
 

Frodo: "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."

Sam: "You sure? This looks a lot like Kansas to me..."

Frodo and Sam get their first glimpse of that villainous duo, Lalwende and Davem, ganging up on a confused gaffer in order to steal his taters....

Frodo and Sam, walking in a field.
 

Sam: Mr. Frodo, Mr. Frodo. The ents are coming!
Frodo: Sam, Like I'd believe that...

OR

Sam: I remember standing on the yellow floor.
Frodo: Don't worry, It's only gone-off quick sand. See there's the expiry date, on that man.
Sam: It says, 'made in the Shire'... That's a scarecrow! I'm going to Die!
Frodo: Just don't make a noise.

~Gelmir~

It's not been done yet! I cannot belive it!
 

Sam saw Gandalf the grey... with a cloak? What's the world coming to?

Hobbit Teen Help Videos


Sam: Mr. Frodo you can't runaway just 'cuz Mr.Bilbo punished you for using pipe weed

Frodo: He doesn't get how hard it is to be me!

Sam:Yeah but...ummm...LINE?!


Edit:Just so you know that ending came from an abrupt brainfart if you will

Sam: "Mr. Frodo, what kind of grain are we walking through?"

Frodo: "Corn."

Sam: "Do you mean maize?"

Frodo: "Look, I don't have the slightest idea what grain we're walking through but I know there's no grain in Mordor now shut up!!"

(This is a blatant spin off of the already overdone Wizard of Oz captions. )
Frodo: "That strange lady said to follow the yellow brick road, but this path she set us on doesn't look like bricks to me."
Sam: "Well, at least its yellow."
Frodo: :eek: "That scarecrow! He's pointing a different way now!"

OR

Sam: "Why do I have to carry all the bags?" :(

OR

Frodo: "Oh, look, a cool looking lever." *pull* *sirens and flashing lights*
Scarecrow: "Thank you for pulling the Middle-earth self-destruct lever. Middle-earth will be drowned in the Sea in 10 minutes. Have a nice day." :)
Frodo: *faint*
Sam: "Not again!"

Sam: Where's this picture Jackson sent us looking for?

Frodo: He said the scarecrow marks the spot...

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.ya...ard_hill13.jpg

Peter Jackson: See Bernard, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and since I can't figure out a way to clear out all these orcs. Your charge is going to be basically worthless since I have to bring in the dead Army, so were just going to scrap that part. You can sit on the hill and watch it if you wish?

Or

Mr. Hill isn't very interested in Jackson's reciting of The Canterbury Tales.

Sam: I just can't believe those things that The Guy Who Be Short said about me, now that Mormegil fellow seems to be spot on with Bilbo.

Frodo: I've told you Sam I'm not getting into it.


To fully understand please read the favorite hobbit poll. :D

Edit: Cross post--obviously for the Frodo and Sam pic.

Theoden isn't quite sure what to make of his new councellor...

Theoden: "I think I liked Grima better."

PJ: No Bernard, you eat what the caterers bring. And yes, I *do* know that they didn't bring any sandwiches...with or without ham!

Or...

PJ: Don't worry Bernard, it says here that Gandalf will be cloaked.

Or...

PJ: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Or...

PJ: Wow, I didn't know you were an aspiring poet, Bernard, but this is hardly the time.

Or...

PJ: What is this? An actual copy of Lord of the Rings? On my set?!? What is this frippery and skulduggery! Tom Bombadil? Farmer Maggot? Giant Wolves? A Ladylike Arwen? A Legolas who is not a mere stuntspiece but an actual fleshed-out character?? Bother and Rubbish!

Jackson: Ok Bernard, pretend I'm Eowyn...(in Eowyn's voice) "Uncle, Uncle, your son is wounded. Uncle will you not comfort me?"

Bernard: I don't get paid enough for this...

Peter Jackson: "You're three days late?! How?!"
Bernard Hill: "I told you; I got lost."
Jackson: "But you had directions. Let me see those."
*PJ studies directions*
Jackson: "No, these are all wrong. You should've gone left at the stoplight, not straight!"
Hill: "Ohh! I hate MapQuest!" :D

PJ: "Look, Tolkien said it, right...here. Two Towers, and I quote: "And the Elves marched to Helm's Deep, & the studly Legolas pronounced "That is no Orc horn!", & Aragorn greeted Haldir over-enthusiastically, & Theoden looked on wide eyed..." so do the scene, okay?"

Hill: "But PJ, that's just a piece of paper with your handwriting all over it."

PJ: "Bernard, the problem with you is you can't take something at face value. You just act the scene & leave the changing-er-interpreting of Tolkien's works to me, okay?"

Bernard's Brain: Peter's poetry is some of the worst I've ever heard! Second only to the Vogons.

Theoden is more than a little leery, and rightly so, about the timetraveller from the Seventh Age. No Aelfwine, he.

The guy in the baseball cap in the back gives his meanest expression to PJ for not choosing him to be Theoden.

Captain H. M. "Howling Mad" Murdock--the guy in the back with the baseball cap--wonders how they plan to use the helicopter in this one.

To stop Peter from telling his awful jokes, Bernard had to hand him his bill.

PJ: So it says here that you slapped Ian McKellan square in the face and called him a primadonna bitch.

Bernard Hill: Whatever!

PJ: I'm sorry Bernard, this is some great writing but I just don't think the audience will relate as well to a camp king.

Jackson: "Is this bill correct? Did you spent $12000 on lattes?!" :eek:

Hill: "....yeah, so?"

PJ: Bernard, can you read this letter? It's from Christopher Lee, but I cannot, for the life of me, make out what it says. I think he's trying to tell me he's pining, but for what, I do not know.

Bernard: Hmm. Actually, I think he's whining, about you cutting out his scenes.

Bernard: So i run in and try and save as many of the patients as i can from the lions right?

PJ: what? no, you just walk over to the tent there

Bernard: and then i sacrifice myself by going down with the ship!

PJ:err...which movie do you think this is?

Bernard: The Life and times of Bernard Hill and his Horse Daffodil?

Bernard's Brain: Peter seems to have some sort of a stain on his shirt...should I tell him? No, I'll just let him be embarassed. That'll teach him to shun my "Theoden kills the Witch King and Sauron and becomes king of Gondor and Rohan" idea.

Peter: "And nowww, the end is near, and so I face...the final curtainnn..."

Bernard (thinks) : "I wish he'd stop hogging that karaoke machine, he's got a voice like an Orc gargling with gravel."

A tribute to sigs in foreign languages
 

PJ: I don't get this: "Pas de lieu Rhone que nous."

Hill: I know! It's really nerve-racking!

PJ: What do you mean, you don't think Aragorn is a wolf? Have you even read the brilliant analysis of all his posts that I've written here?

As PJ rambles on & on, Bernard Hill spaces out. Meanwhile, in the background, the Rohirrim soldiers huddle & trade Poke'mon cards.

Ok, lame. > >;

Peter: "This note from your mum, excusing you from the scene at Helm's Deep when it rains? Well, it looks suspiciously like your own handwriting, Bernard..."

PJ: "Ok, Mr. Hill, we've got you scheduled to fight Ian McKellan at 8 o'clock."

Mr. Hill: "PJ, this Lord of the Rings, not geriatric boxing."

Bernard glumly decides that although PJ's puns are bad, his poetry is verse.

PJ: Look! It's the new pic!
http://www.brego.net/upphotos/galler..._image_320.jpg
Pippin: Minas Tirith!
Gandalf: Minas Tirith!
Shadowfax: It's only a model.

Shadowfax: You know Gandalf if you get that staff caught up in my heels one more time I promise you I will throw you off.

Shadowfax had had more than the legal drinking limit - as evidenced by his failure to walk a straight line.

Ode to Otto
 

Pippin: (speaking about seeing the majesty of Minas Tirith) You don't need pipe weed to enjoy this! Just to enhance it!

Pippin: Hmm, this looks like an awfully similar setting to Helm's Deep.

Pippin: Are we there, yet?

Gandalf: You've asked that already. *sighs* And yes, we are almost there.

Pippin: Okay, Grandpa Gandy...

Gandalf:...*sighs*