Ugluk: Tea time!

Saruman: I'm thinking about going Soprano.

Gimli: *singing in stunningly high voice* I'll take the high road an' you take the low road an' I'll be at Barad-dur 'afore ye!

Balrog: Mooooooooooo!

Gamling: Hello all, just here to remind you how unimportant I am!

Denethor: I'm hot, hot, hot! The hottest Steward around. Who says a Steward can't play with matches? Matches are GREAT!

Isildur: Daaaaadddddyyyyy!
Sauron: Isildur. Gil-galad never told you who your REAL father was.
Isildur: He told me enough. Anyway, you just killed him.
Sauron: No, Isildur....I AM YOUR FATHER!
Isildur: Okaaaaay. That's just stupid
Sauron: Yeah, I know.

Eowyn: Yup, I'm a tomboy. Wanna make somethin' of it? *brandishes Merry*

sam: To remember this trip I have decided to collenct autographs of every scary creature we meet, what do you think Mr. Frodo?
Frodo: Great idea Sam

Gandalf: Instead of a Dark Lord you would have a queen, ah, I mean king, yes a king...
Galadriel: Hey, that's my line!

Sam on Wheathertop: Hey scary invisible dudes in the dresses, can I have your autograph?

Elrond: Aragorn, how would you like to marry Arwen?
Aragorn: Um, actually I was just going to ask if it was okay with you if Arwen and I got...
Elrond interupting: okay hows 500 bucks
Aragorn: No, really, we want *light goes off over head* 500? for that old hag.
Elrond: okay 1000
Aragorn: done!
later
Aragorn: Arwen, guess what, he said yes! and I got, ah, I mean, uh, he said yes!

Outside Moria
Sam: Hey Octopus dude, can I have your autograph?

Gandalf: You shall not pass!
Sam: Hey Gandalf, can you move over I need to get the Balrogs autograph.

Gandalf: Denethor, I have a great idea, burn yourself!

Sam: Hey Gollum can I...
Gollum: We know, we know, can you have are autograph.
Sam: No way, why would I want YOUR autograph.

Mouth of Sauron: Hey Sauron, I was thinking, have you ever thought about growing some eyelashes...

Gwaihir: Hahahaha! You can run, but you can't GLIDE! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Frodo: ...um...like...whatever...

Boromir: Blimey! That Orc gave me a right old bash on the noggin' I could do with some eggs and bacon right now.

Eomer: Oh Gosh! I've run out of funny things to say, I hope no-one notices.

Eowyn: Booo! Get off the stage!

Bilbo: "Oh, it's the house you wanted, Lobelia? Of course you can have that!

Sam: "You know, Frodo, you really should share that ring-thingy with Gollum. He likes it a lot!"

Theoden: Stupid hobbits!

Gollum: Lovely hobbitses!

Ents: Nice goblins!

Orcs: Beautiful elves!

Elves: Smart men!

Dwarves: Smart elves!

Smaug: Mmmm...pop tarts!

LOL!!! That's hilarious!
------
Eowyn: I am no man!

Witch-King(with British accent): 'Ello 'ello 'ello what's all this then? It's a little bird with a knife.

(Eowyn stabs him)

Witch-King: Oh! Oh! What a thing to happen?!

---------

(Gondor and Rohan charge the Black Gate)

Orc 34: (with British accent)There attacking again, I thought we had a truce.

Orc 35: (also with British accent) Just because you keep saying it, doesn't make it true.

--Aragorn (during final battle speech in front of the Black Gates): "Fellow Soldiers...we're in a Pickle now!"

*********

--Legolas to Aragorn (at Helm's Deep, in Elvish): Aragorn, nedin dagor hen ú-'erir ortheri. Natha daged dhaer. [Aragorn, they cannot win this fight. They are all going to die!]

--Aragorn (in English): Then I shall die as one of them! (there is silence in the room as the Rohirrim stare at him, uneasy.) Umm...did I say that in English?

***********

--Sauron: Ahh! I've got something in my eye!

***********

--Sauron: How many times do I have to tell you? It's Sauron, not Sauruman!

**********

--Haldir (during Helm’s Deep): Oops, I dropped my sword. (Goes to pick it up. Gets stabbed in the back) Ehhh! (Falls down and dies)

***********
-- Legolas (to Merry or Pippen): Can I bum a smoke?

***********
--Eowyn (as she slices the head off the Witchking’s flying creature): I didn’t spend years in the kitchen chopping onions for nothing!

***********
--Aragorn (while standing and facing the Path of the Dead, to Legolas and Gimli): Come! Let's go kill the dead!

Good one, Elassar 516. Those were really original.

Legolas: I forgot my Shampoo.

Boromir: Sure Frodo, you can have the Ring.

Denethor: Sure Aragorn, you can come and take the throne of Gondor.

Elrond: Sure Arwen, run off and marry that scruffy Ranger! I'll even pay for the wedding!

Sauron: This ring has caused so much trouble! I will destroy it!

Denethor:Thank goodness Boromir is dead. Faramir was my favourite anyway!

I'm sure none of them would say Earendil as "AIRendil". [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

Excellent Lily. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]


Legolas at Helm's Deep: Someone shout out an occupation.

*dead silence*

Legolas: Uh, I think I heard "California surfer"

*proceeds to surf down the stairs*

or...

*Legolas starts surfing at Helm's Deep*

Gimli: Legolas! Now is not the time for....

Legolas: You're not the time Gimli! You're not the time!

Boromir: "Maybe I'll just settle in Rivendell."

Gandalf to Sauron: Oh I haven't seen you in ages, we'll have to catch up, give me a ring sometime...........