Gandalf: "No! I did not turn the sun red!"

Teacher Gandalf to his students: Now how many times must I tell you young whippersnappers not to pick on Frodo and Sam?

Elrond: Now Mithrandir, please be reasonable!

Gandalf: I mean it Elrond, I won't budge on this one. Aragorn, if you don't march your little tooshie into that shower by the time I count to ten the quest is off! 1...2...3.....


TB12

Elrond: Is this really necessary?

Gandalf: Yes it is! We are not leaving until whoever took my hat owns up to it!

"Well someone has to take the Ring to Mount Doom" said Gandalf.
" Ok, but dont look at me, my old war wound is playing up" replied Elrond, pointing to his appendix scar.

Gandalf's lecture #57: On Elrond trying on Arwen's dresses.

Those little embarrassing moments . . .
 

Gandalf: Sorry. That was me.

Elvish grooming
 

Gandalf: "Now that you lot have finally left the salon....can we get down to business?"

It's musical chairs. There is one seat left. Gandalf and Elrond look at each other and then at the chair... What happens next?

The Inquisition gets down to business....

Gandalf: Sauron made The Ring, in order to- Elrond! Stand up! What are you sniggering about?

Elrond: Nothing, sir.

Gandalf: Well, it seems to be a highly amusing 'nothing'. Why not share the joke with the rest of the class?

Gandalf: Well I never! Elrond if I must explain it to you, it's not a purse it's a man bag and it's considered very fashion forward.

Aragorn: "Parp!"

Gandalf: "How dare you! That is disgusting!"

Aragorn: "It wasn't me! It was that Legolas, he's stuck a whoopee cushion on my chair! Honest!"

To continue from Lalwendë:
 

Legolas: *evil grin*

"Sauron is building an army? Inconceivable!"

Elrond: Sit down you old woman.

Gandalf: Man.

Elrond: Man, sorry, now sit down.

Gandalf: I'm 37.

Elrond: What?

Gandalf: I'm 37, I'm not old.

Elrond: Well I just can't call you man.

Gandalf: Well you could have said "Gandalf."

Elrond: I didn't know you were called Gandalf.

Gandalf: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?

Elrond: I did say sorry for calling you an "old woman," but from this far a way you sort of looked...

Gandalf: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.

Fidwit: Have you ever seen him before? Really?

Elrond: yes, for the last time I have. He wears grey, usually has a hat on, is in everyone's business except his own, and has a weird beard-cut.

Gandalf ( Jumps up from out of the shadows): I do NOT have a weird beard!

`````````````````````````````````````````Or...


Elrond: I would like to tell everyone that I have just gotten a hamster and its name is Special Patrol Group.

Gandalf: I think Special Patrol Group is a stoooupid name for a hamster!

Elrond: Ok I'll change it then. Hello Cliff Richard!

Gandalf: You are such a wanna-be!


~ Ka...

Gandy: What do you mean "It's Clobberin' Time"??

Or...

Gandy(after a singing troupe of elves had done their routine): That sounded rather rehearsed to me.

Rivendell Special Emergency Meeting.
 

Gandalf: Elrond, seriously, you need to keep that Estel kid under control. Look what he did to my back!

Gandalf: Elrond! We are not going to get anything accomplished is you keep singing O! tra-la-la-lally everytime you look at the dwarves.

I never want to be a wizard, No! I always wanted to be a Lumberjack! jumping from tree to tree as it floats down the mighty rivers of Britsh Columbia! oh i would sing! sing! sing! I'm a lumberjack and i'm okay, i sleep all night and i work all day

Frodo and Sam: He's a lumberjack and he's OK, he sleeps all night and he works all day

Gandalf: I cut down trees, i skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers! I put-

PJ: Stop it stop it! no singing!


theres all the laughter you going to get out of me folks(day keeps on getting worse each time i log on...)

Say what?
 

G: E-excuse me???? Your'e calling me old??? Well, you're wearing A DRESS!!!!

E: What, b****?!! Oh no, you didn't!!!



(Gil-Galad, do you cut down trees, eat your lunch, and go to the lavatory? Pressing flowers? I thought you were so rugged! *runs away crying*)

Gandalf: Elrond! What is that...that...atrocious color you're wearing???
Elrond: Oh, this? It's the official color of Mor...dor...oops.

Gandalf goes cobra

Gandalf: You say what, sista? Oh, that is so it! I'm gonna bitch slap you outta this council, Elrond!

Topical Barrow-Downs humour
 

Gandalf will be damned if Eomer of the Rohirrim's gonna feature in his signature...

or

Gandalf grumpily concedes that the Villagers are going to win Werewolf VI, and that he will thus lose a bet with Elrond...

or

Gandalf began to sulk, and muttered something about looking forward to the return of The Barrow-Wight, so that he could administer some severe discipline to those scamps...

or

Gandalf got turned down by Feanor of the Peredhil, again...

or

Gandalf just can't think of a funny caption...

Staring contests were serious business in Middle-Earth - official games required a dozen of eligible supervisors.

*grin*
 

Gandalf just got turned down by Eomer of the Rohirrim... again.

Gandalf: No! The answer is: "Take the Ring of Power to the Crack of Doom!" That is the fifth question you have got wrong Master Elrond making you the weakest link.

Goodbye!

*Ball of fire from Gandalf's staff consumes the Half-Elven*


or


Gandalf: That's nine votes for the Lord Elrond and eight for Boromir.

Master Elrond, the Council has spoken.

*Puts out the Half-Elven's torch*

Elrond: Good-bye you guys. Stick it to Sauron! Go Fellowship!

Fellowship Members: Good-bye Elrond! We are sorry! We love you!!

Elrond (muttering): Just wait until the Jury....

Gandalf: Next time on, Survivor: Middle-Earth, Boromir and Aragorn argue over leadership, while Frodo isolates himself further, burdened by the Idol of Power. Meanwhile, things heat up between Legolas and Gimli.

Groan...
 

Gandalf: Look, I'm not the only one who's been uncloaked recently *glares at Elrond*

OR

Gandalf: No I will not sing Tra la lally!

Gandalf: "Look, just because I don't wear some stupid sissy metal circlet thingy doesn't mean I'm a 'virus'!"

Serious planning.
 

Gandalf: I'm telling you, this will work! We just let the Eagles take the Ring to Mt. Doom!

Elrond: Are you nuts? What about the book Tolkien's writing about me?

Gandalf: If you lot don't stop bickering, I'm going to stop playing "Who shall I kill first" over in my head, and just go with whatever feels natural. First its me, then it's you, Elrond... wait...

For all you Brits
 

Gandalf was getting frustrated having to answer all these questions about Coronation Street: He didn't know what would happen with Shelley and Charlie and he certainly didn't know if Roy Cropper was ever going to get an interesting storyline.

The hippies convention started with the ever popular who-can-stare-longest-without-blinking competition.

Elrond: Now really Gandalf this has gone far enough. We did one finger, one thumb, one arm, one leg, stand up, sit turn, turn around but we are not going to keep moving. In fact we are not going to move at all until we have got this meeting over and done with so sit down!

Gandalf & Elrond interrupted the proceedings of the Village Council's Daily Interrogation when they both hotly accused each other of being werewolves.

Gandalf: "Look, Elrond, I won't tell you again, I'm sick to death of you hinting about what happens in the new Harry Potter book. I've not finished it yet, so please shut up!"

Gandalf: I'm so humiliated! No one told me this was an 'elf-robe' affair!

Gandalf: I object to you using this picture in an attempt to blackmail me into joining the Fellowship...
http://tolkienilu.chez.tiscali.fr/fi...endecrepid.jpg
Theoden: You put Jelly on my seat!

Bernard: (under his breath) you know Ian I went for Gandalf as well...you thespian twit! I should be the white not you!