Fortunately, Melkor had a better lawyer..

OOC: Or was Feanor his lawyer? :confused:

Unfortunately, Eru still ruled against Melkor.

@ Babidi: Feanor was Manwe's lawyer. Sorry for the vague pronouns.

Fortunately Manwe got distracted by Varda screaming suddenly.

Unfortunately, Varda was actually trying to make "Sunshine in a Bag"

Fortunately, she saw that Feanor had already made "sunshine in a stone" (AKA the Silmarils) and was content.

Unfortunately, when she called them "Sunshine in a Stone" it made Feanor quite angry.

Fortunately Feanor was summoned again by Manwe.

Unfortunately Aiwendil acted as Feanor's barrister.

Fortunately Aiwendil bored Manwe, and everyone in court, so much with his filibuster on the history of butterflies, Feanor was acquitted and guaranteed immunity for eternity.

Unfortunately Aiwendil continued to drive vala and maia to drink
with his butterfly filibuster, since he blamed butterflies for cutting him
out of a movie version of the War of the Ring (relating to helping
Olorin escape from Orthanc).

Fortunately, a huge werewolf came to sort things out.

Unfortunately the werewolf was a movie critic
who panned PJ's cinema epics.

Fortunately the werewolf did not like how people tasted, as cheese was his favorite.

Unfortunately the werewolf ate all the
cheese in Bilbo's pantry. :(

Fortunately, Bilbo still had other food.

Unfortunately, the food was moldy.

Fortunately, Sam and Ham(fast) had just picked some fresh vegetables.

Unfortunately, Sauron wanted those fresh vegetables for unknown reasons.

Unfortunately Bilbo's only other food were his infamous marble cakes. Bilbo took the 'marble' part literally

Fortunately, Sauron couldn't get those fresh vegetables because Sam got his Entwife to guard them.

Unfortunately, the Orcs sent to retrieve the vegetables had axes.

Fortunately, their axes were rusty and crumbled on impact.

Unfortunately Sam's entwife also crumbled on impact.

Fortunately, her husband didn't.

Unfortunately, Frodo needed Sam at the moment. It was urgent!

Fortunately Sam came to Frodo's urgent need

Unfortunately, since Sam's Entwife crumbled on impact, there was nobody to tend to those vegetables.

Fortunately, Borormir showed up in time to protect the vegetables against the Orcs.

Unfortunately Boromir, who had defeated the orcs, but had no idea how to tend vegetables and they all died

Fortunately, Farmer Maggot showed up.

Fortunately, new vegetables sprouted up almost instantly.

Unfortunately the new vegetables that sprouted up inexlicably, grew out of control, strangled Farmer Maggot beneath their snaring roots and threatened to take over the Shire!

Fortunately, the Ents came and herded them away!

Unfortunately the Ents took 'them' to mean herding away the Hobbits

Fortunately, the Ents soon realised their mistake and put the hobbits back.

Unfortunately it takes a long time for Ents to say, or decide to do anything, so correcting their mistake actually took 33 years

Fortunately, hobbits have long lifespans.

Unfortunately, many hobbits were past their primes by that time.

Fortunately, they still had their hairy feet.

Unfortunately, Melkor wanted to cut off their hairy feet for his new breed of creatures.