Unfortunately (for the hobbits) the cows were particularly susceptive to alcohol.

Unfortunately the beer ran out and they were saddened.

Fortunately they moved onto brandy (well, it must have existed in the Shire)

Unfortunately the Master of Brandy Hall
"was not amused" when the tipsy cows
drank all the best Shire brandy (obviously
made and stored at Brandy Hall).

Fortunately (for the cows) they danced a "happy dance".

Unfortunately the dance turned out
to be an udder disaster.

Fortunately, bad puns were banned in Middle-Earth.

unfortunately good puns weren't..

Are there any good puns?:rolleyes:

Fortunately the good puns made people laugh.

Unfortunately the loud laughter attracked a large band of angry Wargs.

Fortunately they were old and toothless

Unfortunately they had excellent wooden dentures.

Fortunately they were too busy complaining about the slivers they were getting in their mouths (hence the angriness) to actually do any harm

Unfortunately they were still angry.

Fortunately by this time the hobbits(that's who the Wargs are after right?) had gotten the chance to hid under a shrubbery.

Unfortunately reject insects from PJ's FOTR
movie were also under the shrubbery.

Fortunately old Tom Bombadil was around.

Unfortunately Tom had arachnophobia. :eek:

Fortunately he sang it away (literally).

Unfortunately the insects were sung into
Goldberry's garden.

Fortunately Goldberry's garden was full of insect-eating flowers!

Unfortunately it was also full of
flower-eating insects.

Fortunately someone clever (and also under the influence of Sauron) invented pesticides and immediately sent them by eagle-mail.

Unfortunately when they arrived Bombadil thought
they said "You've got Eagle-male" and to protect
Goldberry's honor sung the pesticides to Farmer
Maggott's mushroom field.

Fortunately, the eagles really were male.

Unfortunately the eagles didn't help Farmer
Maggott save his pesticide tainted mushrooms. :(

Fortunately, the Wargs ate the pesticide-tainted mushrooms, being unable to eat the cows, who had climbed into the trees (the steaks were too high).
:smokin:

Unfortunately, Now that the Wargs had taken the place of Cows and the Cows had taken the place of the birds, birds now had to take the place of the Wargs. This led to a lot of confusion.

Fortunately, a dragon (winged fire-drake) came to sort things out.

Unfortunately the dragon didn't expect the
Spanish Inquisition to appear and get him
to CONFESS! CONFESS! that he hadn't really
sorted things out!

Fortunately someone shot the High Inquisitor.

Unfortunately, that someone also got shot.

Fortunately, the people that got shot were actually Barrow-Wights.

Unfortunately, they didn't like getting shot

Fortunately, they didn't have a say in the matter.

Unfortunately no one expected the
Spanish Inquisiton inquisitors to be
wearing mithril vests (which they were)
so they were uninjured and proceeded to
force the dragon to sit in a comfy chair with
nothing but some ponies for snacks until
he agreed to CONFESS.

Fortunately, the Spanish Inqusition got cake splattered all over them, and needed to go wash up.

Unfortunately there was no running water.

Fortunately Barliman Butterbur provided a running beer tap.

Unfortunately using it would be a waste of good beer.