Fortunately, he was ringless

Unfortunately, he was wearing a cocktail dress.

Fortunately, it looked good on his naturally feminine figure.

edit:
PS. It seems all the ones lately can be either.

Unfortunately, he started to dance the springle-ring.

Fortunately, the arrival of a band of orcs put an end to that.

Unfortunately, they had a troupe of Balrog ballet dancers with them.

Fortunately, they did not Riverdance.

Unfortunately, the danced Swan Lake instead.

Fortunately, Tchaikovsky was not alive to see this abomination.

Unfortunately, his ME alter-ego was.

Fortunately, Maglor was far away.

Unfortunately, the other Sons weren't.

Fortunately, THE DRAGON CAME and ate them.

Unfortunately, the dragon felt very bloated afterward.

Fortunately, it was in a good mood, so it didn't care.

Unfortunately, it's mood put it off-guard when a scruffy bowman with a black arrow snuck up from behind.

Fortunately, dragons are heavier than scruffy bowmen with black arrows, and that particular dragon took that particular moment to sit down in that particular spot.

Unfortunately, it was spiky.

And fortunately for the bowman he held the
arrow above him where it went into the
dragon in the region of the - er - chest.

Unfortunately, the bowman was flattened.

Fortunately the dragon died and a company of
dwarves got his treasure.

Unfortunately, the treasure was so hot (from the dragon) that it burnt the dwarves' hands when they reached for it.

Fortunatel the dwarves were able to use their
hot hands to turn some nearby coal into diamonds
and so added even more to the treasure hoard.
:D

Unfortunately some Grinch-like figure came out of nowhere and took all the jewels and treasures away.

Fortunately it was Christmas (or possibly Erumas, Manwemas, or Gandlafmas/Olorinmas depending where on Middle-Earth you are)

Unfortunately this Grinch ate all the Christmas/Erumas/Manwemas/Gandalfmas/Olorinmas cookies, and left the little hobbitlings and elflings crying.

Fortunately, the Grinch's heart grew three sizes upon seeing all the little 'uns crying and he died of cardiac arrest.

Unfortunately his corpse began to rot with LUDICROUS SPEED.

Fortunately, it had total biodegraded within the hour, so there was nothing left for people to look at in disgust.

Unfortunately, having nothing to look at in disgust
spoiled the orphan orcsees secular holiday party
at Aunt Shelob's place.:(

Fortunately, Shelob gave them a passing ranger to amuse themselves with.

Unfortunately for the orclets the ranger gave
them to Sharkey to amuse himself with.

Fortunately, Sharkey threw a seriously awesome party for them.

Unfortunately, the party got broken up way too early.

Fortunately, they all gate crashed Gandalf’s birthday party and had an awesome time there.

Unfortunately they were so loud they woke
up Varda who busted the party.

Fortunately, she tried to stop Gandalf uncloaking.

???

Unfortunately, she didn't succeed and everyone was blinded for life. :eek:

Fortunately Manwe was alerted and took Varda home.