Martha Stewart made the palantír out of old newspapers and loose string, and it was perfect, let me tell you. The perfect decorating accesory for any royal home. In fact, Elrond got so jealous of Martha's superior decorating skills that he had her banished to the top of Cirith Ungol until the orcs kicked her out to make room for Frodo. The red lamp was made by her out of a little wire and tissue paper. It was perfect too.

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Why did Bilbo adopt Frodo?

Bilbo knew that he would be given money by the government to help him raise an adopte child, so he adopted Frodo and then kept him locked in a cupboard for 20 yearm, while he sat outside, counting his money and cackling to himself.

How do hobbits travel?

By helicopter. Duh. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Who had a crush on Gimli? (this should be interesting. . . [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] )

The sad story, now it must be told.....
Gimli's first love was actually Feanor,(yes, Gimli is that old.) Feanor meant everything to him, until he was wounded badly by a piece of glass from a beer bottle that cut him in the knee. Feanor always was the drama queen, and that tiny splinter caused him to die. Gimli was devastated. By the time of the Fellowship, when they were travelling to Lothlorien, Haldir fell madly in love with Gimli, but Gimli loved Galadriel now. When Galadriel first set eyes on Gimli, she said, "Hey, you ugly piece of crap, no the one standing at the way left, yes you, what is your name?" Gimli responded with,"Gimli....my name is Gimli, I'm sorry I smell so bad o fair lady, I...
Galadriel-"Shutup...just shutup. You....complete.....me"
With that, Gimli and Galadriel fell madly in love and that was their story.

Who was the wife of Aragorn?

Aragorn never married. Arwen was sure she was going to, but he changed his mind when he discovered that Elrond wasn't going to buy them a wedding present.

How did Aragorn become king of Gondor and Arnor?

He got the winning ticket in a cracker jax box, so he became instant king.

How many cats did Aragorn have? Or why didn't he, if you choose that he didn't.

Aragorn had three cats. There names were Fluffy, Margaret, and John-Mike-Joseph-Fred-George.

What was Sam's favorite food?

Apple dumplings in mushroom sauce.

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Why do Hobbits like mushrooms so much?

The Old Took was reading a Chineese good luck book and found out that it was good luck to eat mushrooms. Nobody ever doubts the Old Took.
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Who was Galadriel?

Galadriel was Frodo's nickname, as it means "crazy short dude" in Elvish. Frodo did not know this, as he heard them call him Gallbree, which means Ringbearer. So all the time he thought they were praising him, they were making fun of him!
Who was Celeborn, and what relation is he to Sauron?

Little to many people's knowledge, Celeborn was Sauron's long-lost siamese twin brother. They were separated when they were infants, b/c Sauron scared Celeborn by trying to take over the playpen with his teething ring.

Why did Sam have so many kids?

Sam had a lot of kids because he wanted to trade them for supplies for his gardens.

Where does Manwe live?

RUSSIA!!!
================================================== ===================================== Who is the Necromancer(Who is he really?)

The Necromancer is the guy who owns Mordor's only restaurant, McMordor's. Have you had your ache today?

(By the way, the Necromancer is actually Sauron in disguise)

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Why does Sam like to go to the Green Dragon?

He like green dragons.
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What is a Maia (What is Maia really?)

Its the name of a pop star, duh!

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What is a wight?

[ June 03, 2002: Message edited by: Ithaeliel ]

The opposite of a Wong! [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

What was Pippin's favorite song? http://www.plauder-smilies.de/party/ylsuper.gif

Pippin's favourite song was and always be "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman" because he always felt that Britney Spears was making a tactful and wise point in her message. Also, he loved her sense of style and rejoiced when she was caught smoking the batch of South Farthing Hobbit Weed he had sent her in his fan letter earlier that year.
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Why didn't Elrond let Aragorn and Arwen marry right away?

[ June 04, 2002: Message edited by: Thinhyandoiel ]

Because Arwen was only about two thousand years old, and Elrond felt that this was just too young to be getting married. The only reason he didn't make her wait another millenium was that Aragorn wouldn't exactly be around that long.

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Why did Frodo dance on the table in the Prancing Pony?

[ June 04, 2002: Message edited by: ElanorGamgee ]

He'd heard that table-dancers could earn a lot of money, and felt it may be useful for the quest.

What was Aragorn's reaction to Frodo's dancing?

Can I join you on your quest, Frodo?

What is the middle name of each of the members of the fellowship?

Frodo: Herald
Sam: Leslie
Pippin: Simon
Merry: Lobelia
Gandalf: The (as in "Gandalf The Grey")
Aragorn: Percy
Boromir: Clancy
Legolas: Greenleaf
Gimli: Sonof (Commonly mistaken for "son of," therefore becoming "Gimli son of Gloin")

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Why did Smeágol teach his granny how to suck eggs (seriously, that's kind of gross)?

lol
Because she had no teeth, and she needed something that could go in her mouth to stop the drool that would choke her and couldn't be too hard, like she would be able to break it.

What's Aragorn's favorite pasttime?

It was a tie between making brownies and dwarf tossing. ( [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]) Hehe, don't kill me, Gimli!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Everyone knows that Tom Bombadil was cut from the movie for being a prima donna and wanting a huge payraise every couple months, but why was Goldberry cut from the movie?

Goldberry drove the wardrobe department up the wall because she was so picky about the shade of green used in her dress. "No, no, no, that's lime green! Hello, are we still in the 80's? And that, can we say puke green? Come on, I'm the River Woman's daughter! I want something that says 'River Woman's daughter!'" She would then stomp off to her trailer and munch on expensive bon-bons that she made Peter Jackson pay for as part of her contract.

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Why was Gandalf always yelling at Pippin?

Well, no one knew this, but Pippin had a hearing problem you see. But not so bad that he couldn't hear normal conversation. Gandalf, however, took it as a very bad hearing problem, and thought that Pip was nearly deaf. Therefore, to ensure that everything he said was heard, he yelled. When Pippin tried to explain that he didn't have to yell, Gandalf wouldn't listen, saying he was being a 'silly hobbit meddling in the affairs of wizards' and continued to yell. At the end of the Quest for the Ring, Pippin had by that time, gone deaf as a result of Gandalf's consistant yelling.
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Why was Gandalf "The Gray"?

He wanted to be Gandalf the White, but he couldn't afford a decent bleach, so he just settled for grey.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Why doesn't Treebeard like to be hasty?

Treebeard was getting old and fragile. It's not safe being hasty at his age!

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Why did Lobelia accuse Frodo of being a Brandybuck?

Because Frodo made a guest appearance on their wildly popular Shire TV show "The Brandybucks" and said he liked their mansion of a place better than BagEnd.
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What was in the box that Galadriel gave to Sam in Lóthlorien?

[ June 05, 2002: Message edited by: Lómelindi ]

Silly string, so that when he opened it, it would spray out all over his face. It worked, but Sam no longer felt any inclination to meet Elves again.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Why did Frodo sell Bag End to the Sackville-Bagginses? (Seriously, they never did anything nice for Bilbo or Frodo)

[ June 05, 2002: Message edited by: Nevfeniel ]

Frodo sold the Sackville-Baggins Bad End because there was a nasty rodent problem in the kitchen and termites were starting to eat away at the wood panneling.

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Why did Saruman earn the nickname "Sharkey?"

There was a television programme called "Sharkey and George", which was about a fish and a shark who fought crime under the sea. When they were growing up together, Gandalf and Saruman used to watch the show and pretend that they were Sharkey and George.

What did Sauron use his palantir for?

Sauron used his palantir to watch movies. He was always a sucker for the romantic kinda movies.

Where was Thingol born?

A hospital, of course!
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What's so special about the Silmarils anyway?

They're pritty and they're like snowflakes that never melt! (See above) Also they change colors when your mood changes.

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How did the Necromancer get his name?

Okay, cross that one out, new question:

How did Thorin Oakenshield get his name?

[ June 05, 2002: Message edited by: Ithaeliel ]

Thorin Oakenshield's name was originally Thorn Oak. When he was a child, he tried picking a rose for his mommy, but got a thorn stuck in his thumb. In shock, he ran around in circles yelling until he crashed into an oak tree. He gave all the other Dwarves such a laugh (nasssty, cruel dwarveses) that his mommy named him Thorn Oak. Humiliated, as soon as he was old enough he changed Thorn to Thorin and changed Oak to a very manly-sounding Oakenshield.

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What is the Springle-Ring and what has it got to do with Hobbits?

The Springle-Ring is a place for the dead hobbits who tried to steal food from the other hobbits. They don't like their food being stolen!

How did Beren come across Luthien? (if you want, you can add how he looked, how she looked, etc. Not necessary though [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] )

Well, it turns out that Beren, although he was pretty good-looking, was a bachelor, so he was at a bachelor auction at a local fair. Before he could be auctioned off, they had to have a little break because it had already gone on longer than two hours. During the break, he saw Luthien at the karaoke booth. She couldn't sing very well, but he thought she looked nice, so he went over to charm her up. She went on the Ring of Fire (no pun intended) with him and got really scared and sick so he took her back to his house to recover, thus missing his part in the bachelor auction and they started dating. Aww, isn't that cute!

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What is Valinor?

It's the medication that Bilbo takes when he feels a One-Ring headache coming on.

Why did Aragorn take Boromir's armguards?

Bormir loved his armguards. Aragorn hated Boromir.
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What id the Brandywine?(Out of sheer curiousity, is Brandy(I always capitalize great things [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] ) a wine?)