http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Gandalf.jpg :I am the lightning conductor that diverts the bolt.

Saruman: I am the conducter who can't conduct!

Gandalf: I am the audiences applause that makes the conductor - turned - conducter start conducting.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Saruman.jpg : I am the fire that breaks out due to over clapping. Because, apparently, friction crates heat.

Gandy: I am a giant bucket of ice.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Saruman.jpg : I am the sun that melts the bucket.

Gandalf: I am the night that chases the sun away from the bucket of ice.

Saruman: I am the warm temperature of the air.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Gandalf.jpg :I am the freezer into which the bucket in placed.

Saruman: I am a small rodent of usual size that chews through the power cord of the freezer, which ultimately leads to its defrostion.

Gandalf: I am the electric shock that kills the rodent.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Saruman.jpg : I am the special shoes he wears that prevent the rodent from being electrocuted

Gandalf: I am the cobbler that refuses to make the special shoes.

Saruman: I am the cobbler's biggest competitor, who makes the shoes just to spite the first cobbler.

Saruman: I am the crate of overripe peaches that immobilizes the cobbler.

Edit: cross-posted. So, since we're still talking about cobbler, I'll give the line to Gandalf...

Gandalf: I am the village that hangs the cobblers due to some odd theory that they're helping werewolves eat the villagers.

Saruman: I am the shoe shortage that follows!

Gandalf: I am the soles of everyone's feet that get a lot harder as a result, thereby protecting everyone from sharp rocks and whatnot.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Saruman.jpg : I am the poison that passes unnoticed through their feet causing weird dancing and death.

Gandalf: I am the increased bites of the spider that causes St. Vitus's Dance due to lack of shoes, that acts as an antidote to the weird poison.

Saruman: I am the hot sun that causes heat exhaustion in the dancers!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Gandalf.jpg : I am the parasol that blocks the heat of the sun.

Saruman: I am the moths that ate the parasol.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Gandalf.jpg: I am the bug zapper that kills the moths.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Saruman.jpg : I am the short circuit that stops the zapper from working.

Gandalf: I am the electrician that fixes the short circuit.

Saruman: I am the venomous snake that bites the electrician.

Gandalf: I am the antivenom that saves the electrician's life!

Saruman: I am the doctors' incompetence that kills him.

Gandalf: I am the defibulator that saves him

Saruman: I am the power outage that makes the defibulator useless.

Gandalf: I am really .... MORSUL THE DARK! who is turning the hand-crank geneator to supply the power to the dephibulator.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Saruman.jpg : I am the sword that removes Morsul's arms. (Sorry).

Gandalf: I am the arms shop where I buy new arms and a three meter long staff.

Saruman: I have a 4 meter staff. :p

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Gandalf.jpg : I am the Witch King with a fiery sword that for some reason shatters your staff. Pfft. Can't get the Staff these days.

Saruman: I am Eowyn and Merry, who kill the Witch-King.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Gandalf.jpg : I am the pit that opens up in the ground beneath them.

Is it just me, or is Saruman good again?
 

Saruman: I am the trampoline at the bottom of the pit which propels them back to the surface.

Gandalf: I am the holy fork that impales them from the sky!