Fortunately Polly picked up the local lingo
quickly, even speaking it in the regional dialect
(without an accent).

Unfortunately, while Polly was able to speak the local lingo and
even speak it in the regional dialect without an accent, she was unable to understand it.:eek:

Fortunately they all found a laptop with internet access and were able to do online translation via Babel Fish.

Unfortunately Sauron, being a junior evil
guy, knew how to use the "internets tubes"
and "the e-mails" (unlike some older
politicians) and did his best to crash
the good guys computer programs.

Fortunately, By some twist of Fate, Saurons computer program crashed.:p

Unfortunately Saruman was forced to repair it.

Fortunately, he knew nothing about computers.

Unfortunately, some bad dwarves (exiles
from Nogrod) had taken computer training
from Aule and repaired Sauron's internet access.

Fortunately, the computer had no virus protection and while online he (the computer) caught a rather nasty cold and shut himself down. This left Sauron a blubbering wreck.

Unfortunately the nazgul arranged an intervention
for Sauron and also teleported Bill Gates in to fix
the virus problem.

Fortunately, THE DRAGON CAME IN THE NIIGHT!!

Unfortunately, everybody ignored the dragon and went fishing.

Fortunately for the dragon, he went fishing for
dwarves (who he saw skinny-dipping in The
River Running). Now there's a picture! :eek:

unfortunately, dragons don't like wet dwarves

Fortunately (for dragons, not dwarves)
dragons find them delicious when steam-dried
and properly prepared.

Unfortunately, the dwarves didn't like that idea at all!

Fortunately (for the dragon) he was large enough that this would not deter him

Unfortunately, the dragon exploded

Fortunately the dwarves found roasted exploded
dragon to be as delicious and filling as meat
cooked on the bone in- say- Moria
(with lager beer, of course).

Unfortunately, they all got drunk and decided it would be really funny to burn down Minas Tirith.

Fortunately Minas Tirith is built primarily out of stone

Unfortunately the drunken dwarves confused
Fangorn with Minas Tirith and gave Treebeard
and friends hotfoots (hotfeets? ;) ).

Fortunately drunken dwarves are far from quiet, so Treebeard heard them coming

Unfortunately, while marching to Fangorn along the
Anduin, the dwarves found hundreds of lesser magic
rings and were able to be invisible to the ents.

Fortunately they were still very loud, even though they were invisible.

Unfortunately for the ents, the invisible dwarves drunkenly
began chanting "Frau Blucher, Frau Blucher" which caused
horse herds in Rohan to rear and stampede over the ents.

Fortunately, the horse hordes of Rohan trampled over the dwarves in the prcoess.

Unfortunately the horse hordes of Rohan were now lost in Fangorn

Fortunately there were convenient sign posts showing the way out of Fangorn.

Unfortunately, some cad had messed the signes around so they now pointed deeper into the forest.

Fortunately, the messed up signs led the horse
hordes of Rohan to Beorn's old place where
they beat up the ponies there for prissily walking
around on two legs while serving food to hobbits and dwarves.
(The dogs were on strike so ponies had to fill in as waitanimals).

Unfortunately the dogs on strike decided to have a demonstration, screaming classic lines like overworked underpaid!

fortunately the ponies coped valiantly and the dogs were turned into wargs by a stranger draped in a black cloak who just happened to be passing through

Unfortunately the stranger in black turns out to be one of the blue wizards gone awfully mad, because he lost his blue cloak.

fortunately someone showed up with an extra blue sheet that they had gotten at a flea market around the corner

Unfortunately, a blue cloak is to the horse hordes of
Rohan as red is supposed to be to bulls, and they
trampled the befuddled wizard (who, let's face it,
was even less competent then Radagast).

fortunately the wizard was saved (albeit only barely) by a rather pathetic spell that had been woven into the sheet/cloak

Unfortunately, the moth, famous for coming to the aid of Gandalf atop of Orthanc had eaten part of the cloak fabric which carried the most important part of the woven spell

Fortunately the moth was eaten by the eagle
who carried Gandalf. Although while that was fortunate
for the moth-loving eagle, it really didn't help the
wizard very much.

unfortunately for the wizard, though his life had been spared, he now had amnesia