Fortunately, Mount Zoom zoomed by
on its way to Mount Gundabad
and squashed the balrog.

Unfortunately, Mount Zoom crashed into a very large strong tree.:eek:

Fortunately, the tree was actually an ent
mechanic who quickly repaired Mount
Zoom (after peeling the balrog off the side
of Mount Zoom).

Unfotunately, the ent suddenly turned into a huge version of Old Man Willow, and swallowed Mount Zoom whole under his roots.

Fortunately, the Balrog was able to get away.

Unfortunately the balrog was driven bonkers by
a Spanish swordsman who repeatedly said:
.

In all fairness, the balrog did have six fingers on one hand.

Fortunately, in his madness he was driven to make millions of snowmen to do his bidding.

Unfortunately, the snowmen all landed in
Mordor in summer and quickly became
ex-snowmen.

fortunately some sort of Eru-in-a-machine made it suddenly the winter solstice.

Unfortunaely, the Balrog froze to death.

Fortunately, a crazed Fëanor came into the picture. How and why, don't ask me.

Unfortunately the crazed Feanor was immediately
brought back to the Halls of Waiting by a
ticked off Mandos who said: "You come right back here this
instant, young elf!"

Fortunately (?) Fëanor whined like a little kid, which made the rest of the Valar angry and thus they tried to convince Mandos to let him go--he's lost his mind anyway.

Unfortunately for Feanor, Mandos had other ideas.
He put him in a western Aman Halls of Mandos
condo with only basic cable!

How basic? One of the more popular channels
is the Thangorodrim security cam looking out on
Anfauglith.

Fortunately, he was crazy and did not really mind.

Unfortunately after around five minutes of seeing only rocks and elves trying to escape, he started to throw tantrums which drove Morgoth mad.

Fortunately Feanor stopped whining when he
discovered the MEEX (Middle-earth Exercise Channel)
where he was torn beween the Melian Areobics Video
and Eowyn's HardBody Workout.

Unfortunately power went out. Poor bloke.

Fortunately, during the power outage
Melian was doing a book signing at
the Halls of Waiting Borders Bookstore
and Feanor got an autographed copy
of "30 Days to Doriath Fantastic Abs."

Unfortunately when Fëanor tried to follow the instructions he did not get the results he wanted, so he threw away the book and cursed Melian.

Fortunately, Melian cursed him back.

Unfortunately Caranthir then cursed Melian (those
hothead Noldor do stick together).

Fortunately someone noticed the ramble, and put an end to it by putting Fëanor and Co. back to where they belong.

Unfortunately, where they belonged was right in the middle of Valmar, and they caused havoc there.

Fortunately Mount Zoom came by and pushed
them into a nice seaside resort on the Western Sea.

Unfortunately, Mount Zoom suddenly exploded.

Fortunately, Sauron Reforged(Or re-built) Mount Zoom.

if it even is possable to do that..

Unfortunately after ten minutes it collapsed again. Faulty construction materials,see.

Fortunately, he got an orc (mutilated by Morgoth from an amazing elvish craftsman) to re-repair it for him.

Because the constructions materials are faulty and do not pass quality control, even the amazing ex-elvish craftsman cannot do anything about it. Unfortunately.

Fortunately, Morgoth got some of the
dwarves from Noogrod to provide
quality construction materials (he
duplicitously promised to get them a
simaril to replace the one Beren got back
from the dwarves).

Granted that the construction materials are now above average, Mount Zoom is finished. But when Morgy can't pay back the dwarves, they unfortunately stage a coup. Complete with nuclear weapons.

Fortunately only Mount Zoom was destroyed (as well as Morgoth's pride).

Unfortunately for Morgoth, the dwarves got Manwe
to give them a lien on Thangorodrim as payment
and converted it to a luxury set of condominiums
with a great view of Beleriand.

Fortunately those condo units sold like pancakes to Elves and Men and Dwarves alike.

Unfortunately for many orcs on the verge of
retirement, they couldn't afford TT (Thangorodrim Towers)
and became vagrants on the shores of the Ice Bay of
Forochel.

Fortunately the Petty-Dwarves decided to construct cheaper versions of the TT.

Unfortunately that stood for Tawtly Towers...

Fortunately, Basil Fawlty and Polly were
lured from Torquay to organize the various
Middle-earth TTs, and even more fortunately,
Sybil insisted Manuel go in place of Basil.

Unfortunately, Manuel couldn't speak Westron.