It's not a tuuumaa!!
 

Saruman Sperling,"Not only am I the president of the 'Back-Hair Club for Men', I'm a client."

Saruman gasps in pain as Grima shape-shifts into a werewolf before his very eyes and bits a chunck of flesh out of his shoulder.
Saruman: "And I never...even...suspected you..."

Grima: I'm sorry

Saruman: i knew you tipped that pizza-man! your dead to me grima!

Grima doesn't like Saruman's new wig.

OR

Saruman wanted the orcs opinion on his new wig.

OR

Saruman accidentally chokes on part of his new wig.

OR

Saruman is being eaten by his new wig.

Saruman is attacked by a R.U.S. ;)

That's R.O.U.S., Nim! Rodent Of Unusual Size. :D

Anyway......

Grima: Die, fiend, die!!!
Voice from off-screen: He's not dead, yet.

When in doubt, go for the obvious ...
 

Grima: Gesundheit!

I don't suppose anyone has seen Plan 9 From Outer Space...
 

Grima uses his electrode gun to control the undead wizard.

mixed up movies
 

Saruman gasps as Anakin prepares to slice off his head.

Grima: Happy Birthday!

Saruman: Oooo, a backscratcher! So itchy...ah, so much better...

Gandalf: on second thought, lets not go to Isengard, it is a silly place

While Saruman's army was out destroying, Saruman decided to pass the time by a little role playing and facial expression excercises.

Saruman: Okay, does this make me look like a starved mad hatter hare with stringy hair?

Grima: Eh... Try showing a little more front teeth...

Saruman: Now, do I look like a starved mad hatter hare with stringy hair?

Grima: Exactly!

~ Ka

Saruman's new wig doubles as a handpuppet.

Saruman finally realizes how incredibly hideous his second-in-command is.

Oh no, Lhuna. Now you're really gonna get it from Encaitare. :eek:

*sulks briefly before conceding that while Grima ain't pretty, he still needs some devoted fangirls to recognize his inner awesomeness*

On topic:

Saruman had to die... he refused to recognize Grima's inner awesomeness. :p

Grima: I told you it had nuts in it.

OR

As Wormtong is about to discover, it's a bad idea to go near Saruman after a night of heavy drinking with Radagast.

Grima: I`m sending this back to the Dwarves of Dale, how dare they send me faulty goods, last week they deliver a mouldy Theoden, this week a wind-up Saruman puppet with a snapped key.

Grima stares intently at the strange black shadow coming from Saruman's nose. :confused:

In the immortal words of David Brent.......
 

"you have to be right behind someone before you can stab them in the back..."

toddler days
 

Grandpa(ma?) Grima: "Come on Saruman, spit the rubber ball out...that's right--no! Don't chew on it! Don't you dare swollow that young man! Don't you make me do the heimlich!"

Grima: oh no! Sarumans having a heart attack! help him!

Gandalf: well i hope his will is up to date

Saruman: I'm not dead.
Grima: Yes he is.
Saruman: I'm not.
The Dead Collector: He isn't.
Grima: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
Saruman: I'm getting better.
Grima: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
The Dead Collector: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
Saruman: I don't want to go on the cart.
Grima: Oh, don't be such a baby.
The Dead Collector: I can't take him.
Saruman: I feel fine.

and the scene continues....

After Grima stabs Saruman, he runs away....
http://www.figwitlives.net/images/Figwit10.jpg
Figwit: Hold me I'm scared!
Random Elf: Oh jeez I can't look.
Boromir: Blo-o-o-dd.
Random Men: Oh why'd he have to die! Why! Why!
Gandalf: He's not dead!

Figwit: Pssst! What are we starring at?

Elven Friend: I have NO clue dude! That thing, it... Look at the size of those feet!

Frodo: What? They're natural, trust me!

~ Ka

Gandalf looks on in disappointment at Bill the Balrog's surprise breakdancing presentation.

Gandalf: Have you learned nothing at all, Bill?

Saruman tries to get revenge on Gandalf the grey for being uncloaked, but with limited success.

OR

Boromir: Truly it MUST be destroyed!

Gandalf: It cannot go on existing!

Frodo: But all the other kids have the Crazy Frog ring tone!

All: ... Destroy it!!!

At the Council
 

"What's that? Sauron's already taken over the world? Bureaucracy, it ruins everything..."

Mid-council, the Hobbits tuck into a morning snack, much to the horror of the Elves.

Elf: Are those... calories?!
Figwit: *shudder*

The Council is ambushed by a rabid....CHINCHILLA!
http://gi.vpptechnologies.com/GI/006/614/812.jpg (not a new pic)

The council is aghast when Gimli shows up in tights and a pink tutu and begins the first act of Dwarf Lake, his new ballet.

Back to the Future/Lord of the Rings
 

Gandalf: "Frodo...you can't be serious. You're...you're going to drive to Mordor in a...a DeLorean?"

"Those crazy elvish drinking parties"

Everyone: chug chug chug woooooo

*Elrond falls down, hits his head on the table*

Gandalf: he did not just do that!

Boromir: freakin awesome!

*Legolas in underwear runs by*

Legolas: were going streaking!!!

Gandalf: way to ruin the party Legolas...

Boromir: yea ya stupid elf...

*Legolas walks away with head down...and walks past a red doghouse...*

Elrond: Let's face it; he's spent the last two ages filling in forms, and signing things. That's how long it takes.

Frodo reveals his secret blackmailing tool...a picture of Gandalf the Grey uncloaked! Everyone is appalled. :confused:

Gandalf: Look, there are people watching us!

Boromir: My God you're right! Who are they? What do they want?

*Legolas runs in from offscreen* "It's me!"

Gandalf: Oh, they've gone now.

While the others look on stupified at their first encounter with a Middle earth Big Issue seller, only Gandalf has the presence of mind to pretend he's forgot his purse....

He just swallowed that gerbil whole!!!!

Gandalf: "I said no cameras! Release the hounds!"

The Council of Elrond is delayed as the blokes pass by Elrond's private quarters.

Gandalf: "He's got a 32" Plasma TV!"
Boromir: "And Sky Sports, the jammy beggar!"
Elrohir: "Yeah, but the selfish swine won't let us play our PlayStation games on it. It's so unfair!"

The Council members are appalled when Sam has the bad manners to laugh at
Boromir's second head...

Boromir: 'It started as this boil on my shoulder....'

Or

Gandalf's quick draw demonstration failed to impress as he realised too late that Merry had swiped his gunbelt...

Or

A wave of panic strikes the Council members as they wonder which of them will have to clean up Bilbo's little 'accident' ....

Gandalf: "Look Frodo, we all know you're getting bored. But to sit there and cross your eyes and stick your fingers up your nose while Elrond is talking is completely inappropriate!"