So Saucy complained in a ranting post
in the "What do you assign to Mordor?" thread

Wishing the white uncloaking wizard was dead
So Gandalf did a cameo in ATM2

But he was soon soaked through and through
When he was cast into a lake of stagnate water

But as luck would have it, it turned to butter
Which happened to have been assigned

By a certain Dwarf who deeply mined,
To cover his toast and crumpets at tea

While he dined on a ship out on the sea
Appropriately called the SS Rust

Filled with mouses and cobwebs and dust
And a teeny weeny bit of ferric oxide

Nerd alert! :rolleyes:

Which caused a bang and many died
So the Elves did weep and wandered far

Searching along the shores of Valimar
For the SS Rust's shards of wrecked steel

Which were drowned far below their keel,
Deep amongst the wrack of sunken Númenor

Where the halls and palaces nevermore
Will be seen by eye of mortal man

And so the Noldor grumbled (due to the ban)
Thinking they are to blame for Numenor's fall

But it was the fault of the men so tall
Who rebelled against the Powers of Arda

So Feanor wrote himself a magna carta
and declared the Halls of Mandos his garden

Hearing this, Mandos said, "I beg your pardon?"
Then threw a great tantrum that shook the earth

He'd stamped so hard he created a new firth,
the sixth of its kind, thusly named Firth of Sixth

The Firth of Sixth, that lay betwixt
The fifth and seventh of the same

Firth of fith? Lmp, are you a fan of Genesis? :o
 

And on Sauron’s head lay all of the blame
For the army that disrupted the discussion

The army burst upon the field, madly rushin'
To wrest the crown from Gondor's king

in answer, hookbill, most definitely ;)
 

who threw it with an arm like a wing
into Feanor's newly claimed garden

Well, Hurrah! By the way, I think your supper's ready. ;)
 

And Mandos' face began to harden
Becoming stern as an ancient stone

Causing all the waiting dead to moan,
"Please can't we have our porridge?"

"We need it for our ghostly portage,
as our elvish spirits are reborn."

All the while Feanor mowed the lawn
Already thinking the new garden won

But as he mowed he forgot the blazing sun
Whose fiery heat withered all the plants

As well as his new leather pants
Which he stole from a passing Elf

Who in turn had stolen them off a shelf
From the new store just down the road.

..... as Tess cooperates... ;)
 

which store featured rolls that were throwed,
made of licorice-laced lembas from Valinor's Lórien

In fond memory of the golden tree Laurelin
Chopped apart in days long past

Over which a dark shroud was cast
Because the Eldar refused to lament

Much to the anger of not just one Ent:
They shook in rage and scattered their leaves

and ordered the huorns to put on their sleeves
that made them look like giant hogweeds

And all laughed at them, even their steeds
For it seemed that they looked rather foolish

Displeased, the huorns turned suddenly ghoulish
And attacked the unrelenting, unlamenting Eldar

But the elves defended with high-tech missiles and radar
And blew the huorns' planes out of the sky

The Eagles quickly prepared to fly
And aid their dear tree friends

But then Smaug woke up with the bends
most painful, and realized it was all a dream

To forget the dream he joined a team
Of those who try to forget nightmares

And all walked around in 70's flairs
While everyone else laughed at them

But Smaug liked the decade and the hem
and threatened the mockers with fire