Unfortunately, out of a pit in the ocean arose a giant beast made of lava (giving
Bizarro-Boromir a ride out from the ocean depths where he had tunneled from the chasm in the ground), formed when a Silmaril was tossed into the ocean.

Fortunately, Bizarro-Boromir had a change of heart and gave the crown back to Zombie-Boromir

Unfortunately, the crown was made of silver, which clashed with the gold sequins on zombie-Boromir's disco jumpsuit.

Fortunately, they just made a new crown

Unfortunately, it was made of uranium and the radiation messed up his brain.

Fortunately, he is a zombie and he wont need his brain.

Unfortunately, yes he does, as most zombie movies display to open view.

Fortunately, being a zombie with his brain in full view means that he can have a messed-up brain, in fact it makes him more zombie-ish!

Unfortunately, scince his brain was showing a group of brain eating hobbits came to have a meal.

Fortunately, Bill the Pony awoke to discover it was all a very bad dream.

Unfortunately, Bill the Pony awoke in one of the seemingly
interminable recent movies of London falling apart,
being attacked by zombies, etc. :eek:

Fortunately, Bill the Pony had his laser eyes to protect himself with, and even the zombies ran from him in fear!

Unfortunately, Bill accidently shot his best friend...Will... and vowed never to use his laser eyes ever again

Fortunately, he had already liquefied the entire race of zombies, and the world hailed Bill as a great hero, showering him with maize and praise.

Unfortunately, they piled so much maize onto the poor pony that he was squished.

Fortunately, in his time as the Necromancer, the one thing Sauron actually learned to bring back from the dead was a pony.

Unfortunately, Sauron isn't nice.

Fortunately, Bill the zombie-pony was

Unfortunately, Sauron doesn't like those who are nice, so he refused to let Bill the zombie-pony join his legion of zombie-ponies.

Fortunately, in a manner akin to the Silmarillion, Bill the Zombie Pony confronted Sauron, who in his idiocy, sent his ponies out one by one into a trap to their doom before going out himself, wasting a perfect opportunity, and being defeated by Bill the Zombie Pony.

Unfortunately, four and thirty leagues away, Gandalf accidentally dropped his ice cream cone into the grass.

Fortunately, Bill the Zombie Pony saved it for Gandalf and gave it back to him and rode off into the sunset to save ice cream another day!

Unfortunately, is was neapolitan.

Fortunately, you can just chuck out the bad flavours. (Strawberry? Who eats strawberry?)

Unfortunately, Gandalf didn't like any of the flavours.

Fortunately, Gandalf found some rainbow jello,
and there's always room for jello.

Unfortunately, the "jello" was actually a parasitic life form in disguise which took over Gandalf's brain after being eaten.

Fortunately this meant that he couldn't perform his Mega Uncloaking Act (now with 50% more uncloaking!).

Unfortunately, he could still perform his uncloacking breakdance, which scares us even more...

Fortunaly, Gandalf broke only one table and two chairs.

Unfortunately the table and chairs were Elrond family
heirlooms (made from one of the less agile ents at
Isengard) so Treebeard naturally insisted on having them cremated.

Fortunately, there had been a shortage of firewood lately.

Unfortunately, Saruman was advertising a great firewood sale:
"Come on down to S & W's lumber yard.
Our prices are INSANE!
Just ride on down the Greenwood and turn left
at THE FORK IN THE ROAD."

Fortunately, lightning struck his firewood and caused Orthanc to burn down.

Unfortunately, the fire some how made global warming worse and all of middle earth flooded.

Fortunately, Ulmo made sure that the flooding wouldn't happen.

Unfortunately Osse woke up with a hangover and so had a sudden urge to smite Arda's creatures with a giant flood

Fortunately, Gandalf made an arc and had two of every creature on it.

Unfortunately, the entwives were just about fed up the whole kaboodle, and decided to take a life boat off of there...

Fortunately, Gandalf put a stop to this by blasting fire balls at the entwives in the life boats.