Unfortunately, this time dwarves had been hired as scabs.

Fortunately, Mount Zoom ran over the dwarves.

Unfortunately, it didn't have "dwarf tires" on and skidded into the Anduin with a sickening crash ... er, splash.

Fortunately, they turned Mount Zoom into a hydroelectric dam to generate power for all of Gondor.

100th post!
 

Unfortunately, the orcs were still on strike, and getting mighty upset.

Fortunately, Eru hired Were-Feanor to masacre them and masscre them he did...

Unfortunately, Bob the Troll clubbed Were-Feanor over the head before he could do anything.

Fortunately, Were-Feanor could time travel.

Unfortunately, Were-Feanor's time travelling abilities backfired and he went forward in time to find that Bob's club had done him in.

Fortunately, his disappearance from the timeline at that point had altered history so that Bob's club never hit him.

Unfortunately he could also travel through space, because of...

Eddies in the space time continuum! (he is?)

Anyway Were-Feanor ended up a few metres underground, embedded in solid rock. Bummer.

fortunately, Elrond the Swindler, swindled him out of the solid rock for a modest fee (don't ask me why or how)

Unfortunately, he was dead from being in the rock, and he had no chance of becoming a zombie.

Fortunately, Eru's favourite character in this thread was Were-Feanor, so with a snap of his fingers, Were-Feanor Rematerialized in the middle of a meat-plant

Unfortunately for the meat-plant Were-Feanor was a devotee of
the Galadriel low-fat high-meat-plant diet (rich in omega-3s from
the meat-plant's diet of baby Watchers) and Were-Feanor enjoyed a delicious snack.

Fortunately, the meat-plant was actually named the way it was because it was carnivorous, and it gobbled up Were-Feanor.

Unfortunately, Were-Feanor ate himself out of it and renamed it the Meat-Factory to end all confusion

Fortunately, the plant was also quite poisonous, and Were-Feanor died shortly after eating it.

Unfortunately, Radagast healed Were-Feanor of this poison

Fortunately, Were-Feanor, being resurrected so near Easter, became the epitome of good; the very embodiment of love, peace and benevolence.

Unfortunately, the moon set and the sun rose, turning Were-Feanor into Feanor, thereby undoing all good influence effects.

Fortunately, Feanor viewed the video playback and decided to be what Were-Feanor turned into

Unfortunately, that was himself, not a good person.

Fortunately, Mandos discovered that Feanor had broken
parole by consorting with werewolves and were-Feanors
so he hauled him back to the Halls of Mandos.

Unfortunately, Mount Zoom ran over Mandos.

Fortunately, Mandos asked eru to eliminate wheels from the song, and eru owe Mandos for watering his plants and obliged, thus Mt. Zoom can not run anyone over anymore... it can slide on them... or stare em down... but not drive over them.

Unfortunately, the immobile Mount Zoom erupted and buried Mandos in ash and magma.

Fortunantely, Mount Zoom had got confused somewhere along the line and spewed out frozen ash and magma.

Unfotunately, having several tons of frozen ash and magma on top of one is still incompatible with life.

Fortunately, Bob the Troll managed to dig Mandos out of the rubble.

Unfortunately, Metelcarmenil ran over both of them.

Fortunately, Meneltarmacil imagination is only a danger to himself and no one else

Unfortunately, Mandos disliked author insertion and beat everyone to near death before throwing them in the void.

Fortunately the void had secretly been replaced with a Spa hotel by Sauron, fearing he would one day be cast into the void.

Unfortunately the spa was already filled with guests

Fortunately there was still room in the stables...

Unfortuantely, only room enough for one hobbit in the stables

Fortunatly, all the wights were smaller than that particular hobbit.

Unfortunately, THE DRAGON CAME and burned up the spa hotel and stables.

Fortunately they didnt really like the spa anyway