Formendacil is quite convincing
 

++BERT

For being an anachronistic, talking statue of a cannibal. And to find out what Wayne will do if Galion stays. :p

Sorry. Not convinced. :p

Well, apart from the fact that Bert is a Stone Troll and not a Net Troll, Trolls on the Downs can sometimes be quite fun. They liven the place up, get everyone talking and (despite the warnings not to feed them) inevitably suffer some humorous baiting. Moreover, just as good requires evil to reveal it's true nature, Trolls on the Downs show us how not to behave and also make us feel better about ourselves since we can observe how good our behaviour is by comparison.

Bert and his companions fulfil much the same role on the Island.

[Disclaimer: This should not be taken as encouragement to feed the Net Trolls when they do turn up.]

Simple. It's a translation of his Trollish name. Which is Bertram. And, as we all know from the films, cockney was a dialect extensively spoken in Middle-earth by creatures of darkness ...

Shame on you! It's his natural diet. Do we persecute cats and dogs for eating bits of diced up lamb and rabbit? And, strictly speaking, it is not cannibalism, as he is of a different species.

And since when has anybody watching the Middle-earth Survivor franchise ever been squeamish about picking on Hobbits, Dwarves and Men? (Elves, other than Arwen and Legolas, appear for some inexplicable reason to represent a special exception.)

Actually, he has been managing so far to keep out of the sunlight, so he's solidified (and tanned) only moderately so far. Besides, should he be caught out in the sun, he will provide a rather decorative feature which will serve the dual purpose of providing an excellent blade-sharpener for machetes, fish-gutting knives etc. :D

Besides, Bill and Tom will pine for him if he is evicted. :(

Ah well. The Trolls have to be separated eventually. Better to minimise their grief by doing it now, not later-cruel to be kind...

--OLD TOOK, ++BERT

And Saucie-Elves an exception? What about the mass motiveless Elf-slaughter in LOTR Survivor?

That, of course, is the exception to the exception. :p

But you could prove me wrong by evicting some Elves in the coming days.

Let's start with ... oh let me see ... the drunken butler? :D

Ah. But I don't accept your original exception as an exception. In fact, I take exception to your exception.

In other words, vote Bert! Or better still the Old Took...

Ahhh!! How I remember the heartless Elf slaughter!! :D So fun!!!I want to do it again!!! But there's not enough Elves to do that. :( Oh well. I'll get the drunken butler out....eventually!!! (Uh oh, there goes the unbiastness :rolleyes: ) Maybe I'll give up that vendetta..... Oh, and it wasn't motivless Ang. There was complete motive behind. Ask Folwren. It was for revenge. And we accomplished what we set out to do.

Exceptionally, I accept your exception to my exception.

Yes, I'd be prepared to sacrifice the mouldy Old Took to save Bert ...

--GALION
++ THE OLD TOOK

Excellent. I'm not that keen on losing Bert myself.

--BERT, ++OLD TOOK

Evict the Old Took! The poor buffer hates every minute of his stay on the island; he was forced onto the show at the last minute by popular acclaim, but he'd far rather be tucked up at home in Tuckborough with a few crumpets.

--Bert

++Old Took

The Wayne in Chaos Theory still holds

In the event of a Galion/Bert double lynching, I wish to be registered as voting for Bert. In all other situations-send Gerontius back to his hearthrug!

Acting for the SPODB (The Society for the
Preservation of Drunken Butlers)

- - Bert + + The Old Took

Shame on all you age discriminating wastrels. :rolleyes:

Not only are you all ageists...you are inconsistant as all get out too. :p

I mean, just look at all the -- we have around here.

Hey! Get with the program. Underhand deals and machiavellian changes of votes are part of the scenery on this show. :p ;)

More votes for The Old Took, please. That way, both the drunken butler and the totally cool troll get to stay another day. :smokin:

Consistency?

We are consistently doing our best to drive others nuts (that would be me), to further our petty feuds (Anguirel comes to mind...), and to see if Wayne will, in fact, go nuts.

No inconsistency there.

Oh....

You meant voting criteria! :p

The Old Took is an acceptable eviction candidate, to me. Anything to ensure Galion's survival- not that that won't possibly change tomorrow.

++ The Old Took

See what I mean. Just a few days ago, this gentleman was one of the die-hards for getting rid of the wasted pointy-ear...to the point of simply voting that way as a matter of course. Now he's swung wildly in the other direction.

This is the sort of unsteady characteristic that is potentially so destabilizing that only I am allowed to possess it. :cool: Otherwise, there will be no relying on anyone. :eek:

Oh alright.

--BERT
++THE OLD TOOK

What did he take anyway? Is he secretly a jewel thief?

I will now vote for the person that gets the first vote at the begging of the day and stick with it ha. :D

That's the Wayne in Chaos Theory!? Well, that's not nearly as interesting as I thought it would be. Oh well. :(

Here's the cast out post!! :D
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Day 22 was a rather interesting day. Everyone kept changing their minds on who they wanted to vote for. In the end, they decided that to vote of Old Took would be the wisest choice. "He's far to old to be hear!" Belladonna cried. "He was dragged out of Tuckborough from his hearth, where he should be at this present moment, and put on this ridiculous, yet rather fun, show!" "And we must save our fellow troll!!!!" Tom and William cried. That night at voting council:

Smaug - 1
Galion - 4
Old Took - 6
Bert - 3

"Thank you all so kindly for letting me leave," Old Took said with great delight. "Now, I shall return to my home and relax in front of my hearth." And he did just that.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori
Fundin
Gandalf
Nain (father of Dain)
Bungo Bagins
Chief of Guards
Thorin
Bilbo
Golfimbul
Carc
Gollum
The Master
Dwalin
Bifur
Great Goblin
Bard
Azog
Oin
Dain
Necromancer
Old Took

The remaining contestants:

Dwarves/Bad Guys
Balin
Bombur
Dori
Fili
Gloin
Kili
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)
Bert
Bolg
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Men/Elves/Others
Beorn
Elrond
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Elvenking
Girion
Eagle Lord
Roac
Belladonna Took
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)

Day 23 starts now.

++ Galion

:D

^ ^
 

Can you believe the cheek of the honorable gentleman?

++Galion

You are all very strange people (judging from your votes during this game) and I have come to the conclution that it would be a waste of time to build up a great argument for voting of Bert. Instead I will just do so.

++Bert

you have seenmy arguements since almost day 1, you have also seent he arguements others have made to prove my point. What does galion do to help the tribe?? What has he ever done??? How does he improve ratings?? Drunken humor may be funny to a few people, but only for a while. And frankly, when Galion gets drunk, which is all the time, he just falls asleep. OOOH that really improves ratings!!! it is time we got him out of there
++Galion

Finally!! Someone who speaks the truth!!! Not that the others, myself included, haven't spoken up against this drunken fool. But he really is hurting this shows ratings. :D Out with him say!!!

++Galion

P.S: Please BOLD your votes *coughWaynecough*

Since Rune's logic is so impeccable:

+ + Bert

++Elrond

He is petulant to all dwarves and not in a humorous way. Also his insistence that the elves sing inane songs is highly irritating and belittling to the elven race.

As i said.
++galion

I believe that I have sufficiently explained the reasons to evict the repugnant troll Bert, and so I vote:

++Bert

++BERT

Because he's stealing the limelight from kamura-troll-Bert. ;)

I've taken my eye off the ball here for a while, on my return I find we've got *way* too many trolls.
++BERT

++Bert
 

What Galion does may not benifit the tribe, but he surley isnt hurting it. Bert eats people. Now, would you rather have someone who eats people or someone who is just asleep all the time?
________
Colorado dispensary

ah Elu,
but Bert does not eat any of the contestants, mostly castoffs and animals. Also his eating of people is helping to raise the ratings.

That drunken butler has just stayed around too long. Plus, some are now complaining that he's keeping all the wine to himself.

++Galion

STOP THE PRESSES!!! I mean...STOP THE VOTING!!! We have a double cast-out today people!! I will have the post up shortly.

Day 23
 

After another exhausting day, the tribe has finally decided to get rid of Galion, the drunken idiot who keeps stealing the wine, lowering the shows ratings and does absolutely nothing around camp. "He's another useless bum in my services!" Thranduil shouted. "Begone with him!"

However, Galion was not going down alone. "There are far to many trols. I say we get rid of the one who starts at the top of the list." Belladonna suggested. That just happened to be Bert. "He keept eating the other contestants who were trying out for this show and now he's pigging out on our food!"

That night at voting council:

Galion - 6
Bert - 6
Elrond - 1

With that, Bert turned into stone as the sun shone on him and he became the islands statue which eventually turned into a fountain. In outrage and in vengeance of their fallen comrade, William and Tom ate Galion up. Al that was left was his bones.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori
Fundin
Gandalf
Nain (father of Dain)
Bungo Bagins
Chief of Guards
Thorin
Bilbo
Golfimbul
Carc
Gollum
The Master
Dwalin
Bifur
Great Goblin
Bard
Azog
Oin
Dain
Necromancer
Old Took
Bert
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)

The remaining contestants:

Dwarves/Bad Guys
Balin
Bombur
Dori
Fili
Gloin
Kili
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)
Bolg
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Men/Elves/Others
Beorn
Elrond
Elvenking
Girion
Eagle Lord
Roac
Belladonna Took
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)

FINALLY!! Ugh, I mean, ummmm..... start voting!!! :D

++ Girion

I mean, talk about useless and boring.

He's got that...errr

And he has this terrible...ummm

When he sneezes he doesn't even...well...

Oh bother! He's so dull I can't even think of anything to say about him. That puts the viewers to sleep and drives down ratings.

The producers will thank us.

++girion
Still havent broken my promise.

I think I will finally aid morm in his quest to be rid of Elrond.

++Elrond

He's so dull and he had his chance to win the grand prize THREE TIMES (if I'm not mistaken) already. He HAS to go!

++Tom

He has been so sad since Bert's departuer, so lets reunite them. (The same goes for William)

Hear me people! There is much amiss in this town of Barrows! Do my eyes mistake me? How can one so lovable as Bert be so coldly thorwn into the hard, stony streets with so little remorse? How can this be, especially when such evils as those carrying red silk pocket handkerchiefs remain among us yet? And what is more, there is talk not of redress and penitance for wrongs done, but of the cruel sending forth of his brothers, Tom and William! Nay, I say to thee! It shall not be so! Not while Downers of courage, sense and fortitude remain yet among us!

++Elrond! A thousand times ++Elrond!

What a nancy, with a red silk hankerchief.

++Elrond
________
Townsman