It was a hairdresser's nightmare as the contestants lined up before Gondor's first makeover show.

Saruman equips Wormtongue with some advanced technology ...
 

Grima: Hold still everyone! Theoden, could you move slightly to your left please? And you at the back, please face forward. That's it. Now everyone say ... goodbye!

*FLASH!*

*BANG!*

THEODEN:

I am the very model of a medieval general,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of Eriador, and I quote the fights historical
From Celebrant to Pelennor, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

ALL:
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

THEODEN:
I know our mythic history, Eorl the Young and Helm Hammerhand;
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a medieval general.

ALL:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a medieval general.

THEODEN:
Then I can write a washing bill in Numenorean cuneiform,
And tell you ev'ry detail of Ecthelion’s uniform:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a medieval general.

ALL:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a medieval general.

THEODEN:
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a medieval general.

ALL:
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a medieval general.


With apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan.

Such disappointment
 

"Sorry gentlemen but the disco is full. On your way now..."

Theoden and the boys watch in wonder as Ron Popeil demonstrates the fat cutting benefits of cooking their mutton on the RONCO Rotisserie Barbeque...

Ron: you just slide the juicy leg o' lamb onto the nonstick spitrod and....

Everyone: SET IT AND FORGET IT!!!!

TB12

P.S. Only 3 easy payments of 29.99 gets you all of the above, band of Rohirrim not included.

Theoden began to suspect that the irritating groaning noises that had been bothering him all day might in fact be coming from the undead zombie horde behind him, which was slathering for his blood.

a pox on commercials...
 

Everyone together: We wish we could taste our beer...

Theoden: By Grapthar's hammer ... ... ... what a savings.

bachelorette of Rohan!
 

What happend when Saruman really cut back on quality television in Rohan...


* Announcer voice: And, from our fifty some odd contestants, who all have boasted that thet in fact do shower, (except for one who, is still questionable) and know the way to a warg's heart, our lovely bachelorette will choose twenty lucky fellows!

(Gigantic Female warg struts in...)


Contestants: Eww! Err... oh! Aw! lovely! *Weak wistle

The Gang of Rohan:
*menacing stares*
We know where you live! Now hand us that soap bar and nobody gets hurt!

(btw - what's with the guy whose back you see in front of the camera? I feel I should include him in the caption but I don't know how :D ).

Not this again!
 

Helm's Deep the water park turned out to be not such a great idea after all, *note man doubled over tossing his cookies*

Lal, I couldn't rep you but that was the funniest, most ridiculous caption I've seen in a while. :D


This game isn't funny anymore....

....Gandalf takes a nice little game of wrestling too far, gouging out Gimli's eyes in the process *note Gimli's lack of, well, eyes!*

Theoden & the rest turn their backs in disgust on the warrior behind Aragorn after he makes it clear for the last time that he won't share his easter egg with them...

Theoden and all: WE NEED A NEW PICTURE!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/3...3587_sam_2.jpg

Sam: I'll show you just how many hobbits it takes to change a light bulb!!
;)

Lightbulb-Witch-king: "Fool! No living man may hinder me!"

Sam-Merry, brandishing sword: "A man! Indeed I am not!"

Already self-conscious about his newly-gained weight, Sean had finally heard one to many fat-jokes from Elijah.

Energizer Ad for Middle Earth: "Even in the hands of a hobbit, it keeps going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going..."

* two hours later

Sam: Shut it! I'm not a *pink rabbit!


:D

* P.A.S.F.C.P. completes another mission...

~Hedwig Ka

Sam: "Let him go you filth!!"

Shelob: "Ha! Art thou bedlam? Be prepared to be folded up in Shelob's fatal web! Hence! I am qualmish at the sight of lightbulbs!"

Sam and Shelob fight. After Sam sticks Shelob she retreats.

Sam: "Oh, here's a groat to heal your belly!"

Shelob: (Running away.) "Not for Cadwallader and all his goats!"

Sam: "My name is Samwise Gamgee. You turned my gaffer out of Bagshot Row. Prepare to die."

Sam: Inhale this, but do not touch.
Shelob: I smell nothing.
Sam: What you do not smell is called iocaine powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid and is among the more deadly poisons known to man.

Or...on another Nerd Channel...

Sam: Perhaps together Mr. Frodo, the Makhtar Chant of Strength! Nurak, turath! Nurak, turath!

Or...on the Geek Trail...

Shelob: What happen?
Shelob: Someone set up us the Elf Warrior.
Sam: Hello you filth.
Sam: All Mr. Frodo is belong to us.
Sam: You have no time to survive make your time.
Sam: Ha ha ha ha ha.

Or...on a more Boring Level...

Sam: This is DISTILLED vinegar!

Or...on a Silly Level...

Sam: To be, or not to be, if you follow me!

Sam: WHAT DID YOU DO TO ROSIE?!? I SWEAR IF YOU TOUCHED HER, I'LL TURN YOU INTO POTATOE STEW!!!

Gardeners.
 

Sam: You touched my petunias?! :mad:

Sam's joy at finding a bottle of beer in the wastes of Mordor was short lived when he realised he had forgotten to bring the bottle opener.

Sam: For the five-hundredth time... I name this ship: "Titanic"! *Bottle fails to smash* AAAGH! :smokin:

EDIT: Hurrah for my 501st post! *Waves small flag*

Gardeners often surprise you; Sam used his specialised knowledge to devise a new weapon in the fight against Sauron: The Glowing Parsnip of Doom!

I DO believe in fairies! I do! I do!
 

Once Sam captured Tinkerbell, lighting the way to Mordor was a cinch.

Sam- BEHOLD! The Molotov Cocktail of Galadriel!

Shelob didn't stand a chance.

Sam has a bright light and a pointy object what could possibly go wrong?

I know I shouldn't do this but I was meaning to type it the last time. I have issues letting go of the past.

Faramir pic: Sure the strawberry is cute and the marshmellow is funny but did you have to make the helm entirely out of pancakes....I think I have syrup in my ear.

As the wave of lucite is about to wash over him, Sam sets himself into classic Lorne Greene pose from Battlestar Galactica : "Best. Death. Ever."

Trying to prove that he had been out of the Shire, Sam produces the Special Edition Galadriel's Phial Lighter that he picked up in the Lothlorien gift shop. :eek:

Sam, Frodo and Gollum play a rousing game of Pepper durring some down time in Mordor.


-Probibly only funny if you're as obsessed with baseball as I am...even then, probibly not :o

TB12

Rosie: "Sam, for the hundredth time, will you please stop swinging off the lightbulb and pretending the lampshade is Shelob, and just get in bed?"

Angered by comments that he was a "dim bulb", Samwise Gamgee forcibly responded by pulling a lighted bulb out of his sleeve. Thus passing, with highest honors, the final test of the"Magician for Dummies" home correspondence course he had been wading through the last six monthes, and silencing his accusers.

"So I'm packing my bags for the Misty Mountains..."

Samwise gets really over-excited at the Led Zeppelin reunion gig. When Misty Mountain Hop starts up he can't decide between holding his lighter aloft or playing air guitar on Sting.

When IKEA kits go wrong...

or

Forced to cut costs somewhere, Galadriel watched on in amusement as Sam realised that the light of Earendil was in fact a glass bottle full of yellow ink...

Frodo: Darn! These Shire power cuts are becoming a nuisance!

Sam: Don't worry Mister Frodo Sir, I have a novelty candle here.

Frodo: Well light it quickly then. I hate the though of spiders creeping up on us in the dark.

Sam: There we go Mister ...

Frodo and Sam: Woooaarrgh! That's one big spider!

Initially, the light of the Phial gave Sam hope that he could defeat the giant spider...then he saw by its light that all but the hilt of Sting had disintegrated.

Sam: look at what the elves have made

Frodo: what is it?

Sam: i do beleive they call it a LIGHT-BULB

Frodo: a light-bulb? Brilliant!

Sam: and now with special darkness-scaring powers

Frodo: Brilliant!