Cop: Freeze!

Gimli: But I didn't do it! I swear it was Legolas. Please don't put me in jail. I'm not young enough to go to jail.


5 minutes later in the back of a swat car: Policeman turns around to reveal that instead it is Ashton K.


Ashton: Gimli son of Gloin... YOU'VE JUST BEEN PUNKED!!!!

Gimli looks at Indigorn.

Orcs... very dangerous. You go first.

Raiders of the Lost Ark(enstone)
 

(Gandalf calls down to Gimli)

Don't just stand there! Put your axe in that hole on the tomb, fool of a Gloin! Then the sun will shine through it and show the exact location of the lost Arkenstone. I don't care if there's a big huge troll down there! (mutters) I should've asked Sallah to do this.

"I didn't ask for a skylight in this room!" Gimli yelled at Legolas.
"But I thought it needed one," Legolas protested as Gimli raised his axe. "It was so... undergroundish in here."
"That's because we ARE underground! And that's the way we dwarves LIKE IT! Balin would be rolling over in his tomb if he knew that some elf had added sunshine and sprinkled sparkly dust in his burial room!"

Gimli: Turn around? There's a flying saucer behind me? Nice try!!

Uh.....Pippin did it.

Hi Ho! Hi Ho! It's off to work we go! ....... BALROG!!!!!!!

(I saw that in a comic strip once. I cut it out and still have it. :D )

Gimli attempts (yet again) to lighten the mood by making funny shadow pictures on the wall of Ballin's Tomb...

'And if I hold my axe up like this it makes the shape of a Flamingo!'

Gimli: Say Hello to my little friend!

Chucky in Moria.
 

The police helicopter was scrambled when Gimli got his chopper out.

What's with microwaveable clothing?
 

Legolas- It's a bright white stone coffin illuminated by piercing blue neon! How can he NOT see it?! And I thought MEN were blind!

Gimli's dilemma
 

Bloodthirsty Orcs? Portal to another dimension.....

What would my dad do?

Gimli

You put your right axe in,
You take your right axe out,
You hack the orc's head off,
And you shake it all about.
You do the hacky-slashy
And you turn yourself about.
That's what it's all about!

Gimli, you are Glowingson, and are at the cutting edge of Dwarven Technology.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, for a mere 19.99$ you can be the proud owner of this amazing axe! Order now, and you'll also recieve this one of a kind special edition companion axe at no additional charge. Note the fine Dwarven craftsmanship as our lovely Gimlina shows off this one of a kind craftspiece. Order today!

Dial 1-800-Gimli-Axe Today!

Blatant Floyd Rip-off
 

Narrator: Gimli, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsy pop?

Gimli: How should I know. I do know how many axe strikes it takes to get to the center of an orc though!

cant...stop...transform---aaargh!


GIMLI SMASH!!!!

Blatant davem rip-off.
 

Gimli: Right, Bloom. That's the last time you call me Shorty.

A little gas...(again)
 

Gimili gives new meaning to the words a powerful fart. :eek:

And

Nobody had realized that Gimli had had cancer until all the radiation treatment that had been trapped inside him was suddenly released. :confused:

Gimli: Kiss my Axe

And suddenly, Eru changed his mind about Elves, and bestowed his favor on the Dwarves. Legolas was not pleased.

Gimli: Step up and see this new pic, it's really brought out in the light...

http://scd.mm-a.yimg.com/image/729390588
When I asked for a Black rider express delivery agent, I didn't mean for them to send NINE of them!

People wondered how Harry the gatekeeper was able to afford a swimming pool on his gatekeeper salary.

Harry: Hobbits!? Eight of them!?

Pippin: See, I told you Bree pipe weed was strong stuff!

Harry: "Wargs! Four Wargs!!! And out of the Chetwood by their talk!!"

And again...
 

Harry sees Gandalf the Grey uncloaked. :eek:

Gimli pic:

Gimli: the director of this movie really likes stressing things, doesn't he? Putting strong accents, eh? In the book, I had an axe. Probably I polished it too, and called it by the name. Chaps in the books of the kind always do. Why the heck do I have three axes in this movie? I'm not surprised one of them is that rusty. I have two arms, after all, don't I?


Harry pic:

Harry has the latter brought by an owl post read to him by Barliman - the only lattered man for miles around. Harry Porter is invited to join certain school of witchcraft and wizardry...

Miracle Harry
 

Harry: Get out, or I'll call the Brute Squad!
Khamul: I'm onna Bchwute S'uad.
Harry: You *are* the Brute Squad!

It is a little known fact that Harry the Gatekeeper originally tried out for the Blair Witch Project.

Tribute to Queen, the musical...of FOTR
 

Harry "I see a little silouhette of a hobbit"

Hobbits: Scaramouche,scaramouche will you do the fandango

Nazgul: Thunder Bolts and lightning very very frightening!

Harry: Gallieo! Gallieo! Gallieo Magnifico!

Hard-luck Harry's list of things that went wrong...
 

#14 - Stepped on a thumbtack.

Harry: " What do you mean I can't join the Cynical Mucky Wet Door Men's Union!? I have an Attitude! See-"

The nasgul are sent in...

:)

~Ka

i found this while thinking about breakfast...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...ek/aarotk4.jpg
Faramir thinks to himself: "Why are those orcs rubbing their bellies and licking their lips? Don't they know that breakfast hour ended 20 minutes ago?"

Enjoy... I know you all will.

~Ka