1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave.
2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last.
3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll!
4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs!
5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon.
6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers.
7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it).

1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave.
2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last.
3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll!
4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs!
5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon.
6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers.
7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it).
8. Insider Information - Bilbo visits Smaug in Erebor to discuss some plans to corner the market in Dorwinion wine.

1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave.
2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last.
3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll!
4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs!
5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon.
6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers.
7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it).
8. Insider Information - Bilbo visits Smaug in Erebor to discuss some plans to corner the market in Dorwinion wine.
9. The Downfall of Doomenor - "How could this happen?!" cried Fated (son of Omen, son of Destiny, son of Horrible'Things McHappenToYa), last survivor of the island kingdom of Ominous Doomenor.

(Oh, wait, you said it had to CHANGE the character of the chapter, right? P. sure this is an accurate retelling of the final days of Numenor. :D)

1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave.
2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last.
3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll!
4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs!
5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon.
6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers.
7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it).
8. Insider Information - Bilbo visits Smaug in Erebor to discuss some plans to corner the market in Dorwinion wine.
9. The Downfall of Doomenor - "How could this happen?!" cried Fated (son of Omen, son of Destiny, son of Horrible'Things McHappenToYa), last survivor of the island kingdom of Ominous Doomenor.
10. Gothlorien - The Fellowship arrive in the once-golden wood to find that Galadriel has gone over to the Dark Side and filled said wood with Mewlips - she and they eat the Fellowship, put their bones in their store-cupboard, and count their gold, which now includes a small, shiny, circular object. (The wood is now dark grey and also full of cobwebs and spiders).

1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave.
2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last.
3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll!
4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs!
5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon.
6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers.
7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it).
8. Insider Information - Bilbo visits Smaug in Erebor to discuss some plans to corner the market in Dorwinion wine.
9. The Downfall of Doomenor - "How could this happen?!" cried Fated (son of Omen, son of Destiny, son of Horrible'Things McHappenToYa), last survivor of the island kingdom of Ominous Doomenor.
10. Gothlorien - The Fellowship arrive in the once-golden wood to find that Galadriel has gone over to the Dark Side and filled said wood with Mewlips - she and they eat the Fellowship, put their bones in their store-cupboard, and count their gold, which now includes a small, shiny, circular object. (The wood is now dark grey and also full of cobwebs and spiders).[/QUOTE]
11. Frog on the Barrow Downs - little was known that the chief of the wights was actually an amphibian.

1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave.
2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last.
3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll!
4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs!
5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon.
6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers.
7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it).
8. Insider Information - Bilbo visits Smaug in Erebor to discuss some plans to corner the market in Dorwinion wine.
9. The Downfall of Doomenor - "How could this happen?!" cried Fated (son of Omen, son of Destiny, son of Horrible'Things McHappenToYa), last survivor of the island kingdom of Ominous Doomenor.
10. Gothlorien - The Fellowship arrive in the once-golden wood to find that Galadriel has gone over to the Dark Side and filled said wood with Mewlips - she and they eat the Fellowship, put their bones in their store-cupboard, and count their gold, which now includes a small, shiny, circular object. (The wood is now dark grey and also full of cobwebs and spiders).
11. Frog on the Barrow Downs - Little was known that the chief of the wights was actually an amphibian.
12. The Window On The Vest - An exclusive insight into Captain Faramir's Thermal Underwear Range.

1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave.
2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last.
3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll!
4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs!
5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon.
6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers.
7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it).
8. Insider Information - Bilbo visits Smaug in Erebor to discuss some plans to corner the market in Dorwinion wine.
9. The Downfall of Doomenor - "How could this happen?!" cried Fated (son of Omen, son of Destiny, son of Horrible'Things McHappenToYa), last survivor of the island kingdom of Ominous Doomenor.
10. Gothlorien - The Fellowship arrive in the once-golden wood to find that Galadriel has gone over to the Dark Side and filled said wood with Mewlips - she and they eat the Fellowship, put their bones in their store-cupboard, and count their gold, which now includes a small, shiny, circular object. (The wood is now dark grey and also full of cobwebs and spiders).
11. Frog on the Barrow Downs - Little was known that the chief of the wights was actually an amphibian.
12. The Window On The Vest - An exclusive insight into Captain Faramir's Thermal Underwear Range.
13. The White Strider - As another cinematic adaptation finds its budget cut midway, the directors decide to merge Gandalf's and Aragorn's roles to save the money.



Next one up: INSULTS

1. Ninnyhammer

INSULTS

1. Ninnyhammer
2. Descendant of rats

(Great new topic, G55!)

(And my barrow-downs are now forever amphibious!) :)

1. Ninnyhammer
2. Descendant of rats
3. Láthspell

1. Ninnyhammer
2. Descendant of rats
3. Láthspell
4. Dotard

1. Ninnyhammer
2. Descendant of rats
3. Láthspell
4. Dotard
5. Booby (said William to Tom)

1. Ninnyhammer
2. Descendant of rats
3. Láthspell
4. Dotard
5. Booby (said William to Tom)
6. Stinker (Sam of Gollum)

1. Ninnyhammer
2. Descendant of rats
3. Láthspell
4. Dotard
5. Booby (said William to Tom)
6. Stinker (Sam of Gollum)
7. Stormcrow

1. Ninnyhammer
2. Descendant of rats
3. Láthspell
4. Dotard
5. Booby (said William to Tom)
6. Stinker (Sam of Gollum)
7. Stormcrow
8. Craven (Glaurung)

1. Ninnyhammer
2. Descendant of rats
3. Láthspell
4. Dotard
5. Booby (said William to Tom)
6. Stinker (Sam of Gollum)
7. Stormcrow
8. Craven (Glaurung)
9. Base, cringing worm (Sauron to Gorlim)

1. Ninnyhammer
2. Descendant of rats
3. Láthspell
4. Dotard
5. Booby (said William to Tom)
6. Stinker (Sam, of Gollum)
7. Stormcrow
8. Craven (Glaurung, of Turin)
9. Base, cringing worm (Sauron to Gorlim)
10. Attercop (no spider has ever liked being called a poison head).

Wow, that filled up fast!
 

1. Ninnyhammer
2. Descendant of rats
3. Láthspell
4. Dotard
5. Booby (said William to Tom)
6. Stinker (Sam, of Gollum)
7. Stormcrow
8. Craven (Glaurung, of Turin)
9. Base, cringing worm (Sauron to Gorlim)
10. Attercop (no spider has ever liked being called a poison head).
11. Strawheads (the Rohirrim, and I believe also the Men of Hithlum)



(Sam is forever a mode of transportation :D It's mutual. ;))

1. Ninnyhammer
2. Descendant of rats
3. Láthspell
4. Dotard
5. Booby (said William to Tom)
6. Stinker (Sam, of Gollum)
7. Stormcrow
8. Craven (Glaurung, of Turin)
9. Base, cringing worm (Sauron to Gorlim)
10. Attercop (no spider has ever liked being called a poison head).
11. Strawheads (the Rohirrim, and I believe also the Men of Hithlum)
12. Dung (said by Gorbag or Shagrat - I forget which - of the orc who knifed him)

By the way, who was the descendant of rats? I don't recall that one. :confused:

It's what Thorin calls Bilbo when he confesses to giving the Arkenstone to Bard. (Well, after he's called him 'miserable hobbit' and 'undersized ... burglar!'

1. Ninnyhammer
2. Descendant of rats
3. Láthspell
4. Dotard
5. Booby (said William to Tom)
6. Stinker (Sam, of Gollum)
7. Stormcrow
8. Craven (Glaurung, of Turin)
9. Base, cringing worm (Sauron to Gorlim)
10. Attercop (no spider has ever liked being called a poison head).
11. Strawheads (the Rohirrim, and I believe also the Men of Hithlum)
12. Dung (said by Gorbag or Shagrat - I forget which - of the orc who knifed him)
13. Ragged (Denethor, of the Line of Isildur)

Next up: THINGS WITH WINGS.

1. The Crown of Gondor

THINGS WITH WINGS.

1. The Crown of Gondor
2. Roac (a raven)

THINGS WITH WINGS.

1. The Crown of Gondor
2. Roac (a raven)
3. The Great Eagles

THINGS WITH WINGS

1. The Crown of Gondor
2. Roac (a raven)
3. The Great Eagles
4. Elwing

THINGS WITH WINGS

1. The Crown of Gondor
2. Roac (a raven)
3. The Great Eagles
4. Elwing
5. Balrog's shadow :p

THINGS WITH WINGS

1. The Crown of Gondor
2. Roac (a raven)
3. The Great Eagles
4. Elwing
5. Balrog's shadow
6. The cold chicken in Bilbo's pantry

THINGS WITH WINGS

1. The Crown of Gondor
2. Roac (a raven)
3. The Great Eagles
4. Elwing
5. Balrog's shadow
6. The cold chicken in Bilbo's pantry
7. Ondoher's army at the Disaster of the Morannon (had both a Left Wing and a Right Wing)

And G55 - nice one! ;)

hS

THINGS WITH WINGS

1. The Crown of Gondor
2. Roac (a raven)
3. The Great Eagles
4. Elwing
5. Balrog's shadow
6. The cold chicken in Bilbo's pantry
7. Ondoher's army at the Disaster of the Morannon (had both a Left Wing and a Right Wing)
8. The heroic duck in Moria ('A quick duck had saved him, and he had killed his first orc').

THINGS WITH WINGS

1. The Crown of Gondor
2. Roac (a raven)
3. The Great Eagles
4. Elwing
5. Balrog's shadow
6. The cold chicken in Bilbo's pantry
7. Ondoher's army at the Disaster of the Morannon (had both a Left Wing and a Right Wing)
8. The heroic duck in Moria ('A quick duck had saved him, and he had killed his first orc').
9. Ancalagon the flying dragon

THINGS WITH WINGS

1. The Crown of Gondor.
2. Roac (a raven).
3. The Great Eagles.
4. Elwing.
5. Balrog's shadow.
6. The cold chicken in Bilbo's pantry.
7. Ondoher's army at the Disaster of the Morannon (had both a Left Wing and a Right Wing).
8. The heroic duck in Moria ('A quick duck had saved him, and he had killed his first orc').
9. Ancalagon the flying dragon.
10. The geese that scream at the Nazgul, according to Frodo.

THINGS WITH WINGS

1. The Crown of Gondor.
2. Roac (a raven).
3. The Great Eagles.
4. Elwing.
5. Balrog's shadow.
6. The cold chicken in Bilbo's pantry.
7. Ondoher's army at the Disaster of the Morannon (had both a Left Wing and a Right Wing).
8. The heroic duck in Moria ('A quick duck had saved him, and he had killed his first orc').
9. Ancalagon the flying dragon.
10. The geese that scream at the Nazgul, according to Frodo.
11. The cock whose crowing heralded the arrival of the Rohirrim and scared off the Nazgul at Minas Tirith.

THINGS WITH WINGS

1. The Crown of Gondor.
2. Roac (a raven).
3. The Great Eagles.
4. Elwing.
5. Balrog's shadow.
6. The cold chicken in Bilbo's pantry.
7. Ondoher's army at the Disaster of the Morannon (had both a Left Wing and a Right Wing).
8. The heroic duck in Moria ('A quick duck had saved him, and he had killed his first orc').
9. Ancalagon the flying dragon.
10. The geese that scream at the Nazgul, according to Frodo.
11. The cock whose crowing heralded the arrival of the Rohirrim and scared off the Nazgul at Minas Tirith.
12. Thuringwethil

THINGS WITH WINGS

1. The Crown of Gondor.
2. Roac (a raven).
3. The Great Eagles.
4. Elwing.
5. Balrog's shadow.
6. The cold chicken in Bilbo's pantry.
7. Ondoher's army at the Disaster of the Morannon (had both a Left Wing and a Right Wing).
8. The heroic duck in Moria ('A quick duck had saved him, and he had killed his first orc').
9. Ancalagon the flying dragon.
10. The geese that scream at the Nazgul, according to Frodo.
11. The cock whose crowing heralded the arrival of the Rohirrim and scared off the Nazgul at Minas Tirith.
12. Thuringwethil.
13. The gorcrows (from 'The Mewlips').

(I wasn't sure if the emblem of Dol Amroth would count, as it's a ship with a swan-shaped prow).

EXCLAMATIONS (please give the utterer and the context, if you can).

1. LAWKS! (Merry, Crickhollow).

EXCLAMATIONS (please give the utterer and the context, if you can).

1. LAWKS! (Merry, Crickhollow).
2. GARN! (a mild expletive preferred in ruffian and orkish circles).

EXCLAMATIONS (please give the utterer and the context, if you can).

1. Lawks! (Merry, Crickhollow).
2. Garn! (A mild expletive preferred in ruffian and orkish circles).
3. Blast! (Uttered by Tolkien when he stumbled/tripped in the dark being Father Christmas (as reported by his children)).

EXCLAMATIONS (please give the utterer and the context, if you can).

1. Lawks! (Merry, Crickhollow).
2. Garn! (A mild expletive preferred in ruffian and orkish circles).
3. Blast! (Uttered by Tolkien when he stumbled/tripped in the dark being Father Christmas (as reported by his children).
4. Fool of a Took! (Gandalf, in Moria).

EXCLAMATIONS (please give the utterer and the context, if you can).

1. Lawks! (Merry, Crickhollow).
2. Garn! (A mild expletive preferred in ruffian and orkish circles).
3. Blast! (Uttered by Tolkien when he stumbled/tripped in the dark being Father Christmas (as reported by his children).
4. Fool of a Took! (Gandalf, in Moria).
5. Damn the boy! (Tolkien again, when Christopher noticed he'd got he colour of a dwarf's hood/beard wrong).

EXCLAMATIONS (please give the utterer and the context, if you can).

1. Lawks! (Merry, Crickhollow).
2. Garn! (A mild expletive preferred in ruffian and orkish circles).
3. Blast! (Uttered by Tolkien when he stumbled/tripped in the dark being Father Christmas (as reported by his children).
4. Fool of a Took! (Gandalf, in Moria).
5. Damn the boy! (Tolkien again, when Christopher noticed he'd got he colour of a dwarf's hood/beard wrong).
6. Ai! ai! (Legolas, upon seeing a Balrog)

EXCLAMATIONS (please give the utterer and the context, if you can).

1. Lawks! (Merry, Crickhollow).
2. Garn! (A mild expletive preferred in ruffian and orkish circles).
3. Blast! (Uttered by Tolkien when he stumbled/tripped in the dark being Father Christmas (as reported by his children). EDIT: Also when he made a mistake writing 'Elen sila lumenn'omentielvo' (on film, in elvish characters).
4. Fool of a Took! (Gandalf, in Moria).
5. Damn the boy! (Tolkien again, when Christopher noticed he'd got the colour of a dwarf's hood/beard wrong).
6. Ai! ai! (Legolas, upon seeing a Balrog).
7. Daro! (An elf in Lothlorien).

EXCLAMATIONS (please give the utterer and the context, if you can).

1. Lawks! (Merry, Crickhollow).
2. Garn! (A mild expletive preferred in ruffian and orkish circles).
3. Blast! (Uttered by Tolkien when he stumbled/tripped in the dark being Father Christmas (as reported by his children). EDIT: Also when he made a mistake writing 'Elen sila lumenn'omentielvo' (on film, in elvish characters).
4. Fool of a Took! (Gandalf, in Moria).
5. Damn the boy! (Tolkien again, when Christopher noticed he'd got the colour of a dwarf's hood/beard wrong).
6. Ai! ai! (Legolas, upon seeing a Balrog).
7. Daro! (An elf in Lothlorien).
8. Burárum! (an entish noise of disgust)